Short Fiction

‘and I’m appinted,’ says he, ‘to assist in carryin’ the wather, an’ gets a mighty poor share iv it myself,’ says he, ‘an’ a mighty throublesome, wearin’ job it is, I can tell you,’ says he; ‘for they’re all iv them surprisinly dthry, an’ dthrinks it as fast as my legs can carry it,’ says he; ‘but what kills me intirely,’ says he, ‘is the wakeness in my leg,’ says he, ‘an’ I want you to give it a pull or two to bring it to shape,’ says he, ‘and that’s the long an’ the short iv it,’ says he.

“ ‘Oh, plase your honour,’ says my father (for he didn’t like to handle the sperit at all), ‘I wouldn’t have the impidence to do the likes to your honour,’ says he; ‘it’s only to poor crathurs like myself I’d do it to,’ says he.

“ ‘None iv your blarney,’ says the squire. ‘Here’s my leg,’ says he, cockin’ it up to him⁠—‘pull it for the bare life,’ says he; an’ ‘if you don’t, by the immortial powers I’ll not lave a bone in your carcish I’ll not powdher,’ says he.

“When my father heerd that, he seen there was no use in purtendin’, so he tuk hould iv the leg, an’ he kep’ pullin’ an’ pullin’, till the sweat, God bless us, beginned to pour down his face.

“ ‘Pull, you divil!’ says the squire.

“ ‘At your sarvice, your honour,’ says my father.

“ ‘Pull harder,’ says the squire.

“My father pulled like the divil.

“ ‘I’ll take a little sup,’ says the squire, rachin’ over his hand to the bottle, ‘to keep up my courage,’ says he, lettin’ an to be very wake in himself intirely. But, as cute as he was, he was out here, for he tuk the wrong one. ‘Here’s to your good health, Terence,’ says he; ‘an’ now pull like the very divil.’ An’ with that he lifted the bottle of holy wather, but it was hardly to his mouth, whin he let a screech out, you’d think the room id fairly split with it, an’ made one chuck that sent the leg clane aff his body in my father’s hands. Down wint the squire over the table, an’ bang wint my father halfway across the room on his back, upon the flure. Whin he kem to himself the cheerful mornin’ sun was shinin’ through the windy shutthers, an’ he was lying flat an his back, with the leg iv one of the great ould chairs pulled clane out iv the socket an’ tight in his hand, pintin’ up to the ceilin’, an’ ould Larry fast asleep, an’ snorin’ as loud as ever. My father wint that mornin’ to Father Murphy, an’ from that to the day of his death, he never neglected confission nor mass, an’ what he tould was betther believed that he spake av it but seldom. An’, as for the squire, that is the sperit, whether it was that he did not like his liquor, or by rason iv the loss iv his leg, he was never known to walk agin.”

The Fortunes of Sir Robert Ardagh

Being a Second Extract from the Papers of the Late Father Purcell.

“The earth hath bubbles as the water hath⁠—
And these are of them.”

In the south of Ireland, and on the borders of the county of Limerick, there lies a district of two or three miles in length, which is rendered interesting by the fact that it is one of the very few spots throughout this country, in which some vestiges of aboriginal forest still remain. It has little or none of the lordly character of the American forest, for the axe has felled its oldest and its grandest trees; but in the close wood which survives, live all the wild and pleasing peculiarities of nature: its complete irregularity, its vistas, in whose perspective the quiet cattle are peacefully browsing; its refreshing glades, where the grey rocks arise from amid the nodding fern; the silvery shafts of the old birch trees; the knotted trunks of the hoary oak, the grotesque but graceful branches which never shed their honours under the tyrant pruning-hook; the soft green sward; the chequered light and shade; the wild luxuriant weeds; the lichen and the moss⁠—all, all are beautiful alike in the green freshness of spring, or in the sadness and sere of autumn. Their beauty is of that kind which makes the heart full with joy⁠—appealing to the affections with a power which belongs to nature only. This wood runs up, from below the base, to the ridge of a long line of irregular hills, having perhaps, in primitive times, formed but the skirting of some mighty forest which occupied the level below.

But now, alas! whither have we drifted? whither has the tide of civilisation borne us? It has passed over a land unprepared for it⁠—it has left nakedness behind it; we have lost our forests, but our marauders remain; we have destroyed all that is picturesque, while we have retained everything that is revolting in barbarism. Through the midst of this woodland there runs a deep gully or glen, where the stillness of the scene is broken in upon by the brawling of a mountain-stream, which, however, in the winter season, swells into a rapid and formidable torrent.

There is one point at which the glen becomes extremely deep and narrow; the sides descend to the depth of some hundred feet, and are so steep as to be nearly perpendicular. The wild trees which have taken root in the crannies and chasms of the rock have so intersected and entangled, that one can with difficulty catch a glimpse of the stream, which wheels, flashes, and foams below, as if exulting in the surrounding silence and solitude.

This spot was not unwisely chosen, as a point of no ordinary strength, for the erection of a massive square tower or keep, one side of which rises as if in continuation of the precipitous cliff on which it is based. Originally,