The Vicar of Bullhampton

know that his sorrow had disturbed him. When he had gone to Loring, travelling with a forlorn hope into the neighbourhood of the girl he loved, he had himself been aware that he had lacked strength to control himself in his misfortune. But if his state then had been grievous, what must it be now? It had been told to all the world around him that he had at last won his bride, and he had proceeded, as do jolly thriving bridegrooms, to make his house ready for her reception. Doubting nothing he had mingled her wishes, her tastes, his thoughts of her, with every action of his life. He had prepared jewels for her, and decorated chambers, and laid out pleasure gardens. He was a man, simple in his own habits, and not given to squandering his means; but now, at this one moment of his life, when everything was to be done for the delectation of her who was to be his life’s companion, he could afford to let prudence go by the board. True that his pleasure in doing this had been sorely marred by her coldness, by her indifference, even by her self-abnegation; but he had continued to buoy himself up with the idea that all would come right when she should be his wife. Now she had told him that she would never willingly speak to him again⁠—and he believed her.

He went up to his house, and into his bedroom, and then he sat thinking of it all. And as he thought he heard the voices and the tools of the men at their work; and knew that things were being done which, for him, would never be of avail. He remained there for a couple of hours without moving. Then he got up and gave the housekeeper instructions to pack up his portmanteau, and the groom orders to bring his gig to the door. “He was going away,” he said, and his letters were to be addressed to his club in London. That afternoon he drove himself into Salisbury that he might catch the evening express train up, and that night he slept at a hotel in London.

LXV

Mary Lowther Leaves Bullhampton

It was considerably past one o’clock, and the children’s dinner was upon the table in the dining parlour before anyone in the vicarage had seen Mary Lowther since the departure of the Squire. When she left Mr. Gilmore, she had gone to her own room, and no one had disturbed her. As the children were being seated, Fenwick returned, and his wife put into his hand the note which Gilmore had left for her.

“What passed between them?” he asked in a whisper.

His wife shook her head. “I have not seen her,” she said, “but he talks of speaking plainly, and I suppose it was bitter enough.”

“He can be very bitter if he’s driven hard,” said the Vicar; “and he has been driven very hard,” he added, after a while.

As soon as the children had eaten their dinner, Mrs. Fenwick went up to Mary’s room with the Squire’s note in her hand. She knocked, and was at once admitted, and she found Mary sitting at her writing-desk.

“Will you not come to lunch, Mary?”

“Yes⁠—if I ought. I suppose I might not have a cup of tea brought up here?”

“You shall have whatever you like⁠—here or anywhere else, as far as the vicarage goes. What did he say to you this morning?”

“It is of no use that I should tell you, Janet.”

“You did not yield to him, then?”

“Certainly, I did not. Certainly I never shall yield to him. Dear Janet, pray take that as a certainty. Let me make you sure at any rate of that. He must be sure of it himself.”

“Here is his note to me, written, I suppose, after you left him.” Mary took the scrap of paper from her hand and read it. “He is not sure, you see,” continued Mrs. Fenwick. “He has written to me, and I suppose that I must answer him.”

“He shall certainly never have to blush for me as his wife,” said Mary. But she would not tell her friend of the hard words that had been said to her. She understood well the allusion in Mr. Gilmore’s note, but she would not explain it. She had determined, as she thought about it in her solitude, that it would be better that she should never repeat to anyone the cruel words which her lover had spoken to her. Doubtless he had received provocation. All his anger, as well as all his suffering, had come from a constancy in his love for her, which was unsurpassed, if not unequalled, in all that she had read of among men. He had been willing to accept her on conditions most humiliating to himself; and had then been told, that, even with those conditions, he was not to have her. She was bound to forgive him almost any offence that he could bestow upon her. He had spoken to her in his wrath words which she thought to be not only cruel but unmanly. She had told him that she would never speak willingly to him again; and she would keep her word. But she would forgive him. She was bound to forgive him any injury, let it be what it might. She would forgive him;⁠—and as a sign to herself of her pardon she would say no word of his offence to her friends, the Fenwicks. “He shall certainly never have to blush for me as his wife,” she said, as she returned the note to Mrs. Fenwick.

“You mean, that you never will be his wife?”

“Certainly I mean that.”

“Have you quarrelled with him, Mary?”

“Quarrelled? How am I to answer that? It will be better that we should not meet again. Of course, our interview could not be pleasant for either of us. I do not wish him to think that there has been a