The Vicar of Bullhampton

took his hat and sauntered out across the fields, and did walk as far as the churchyard gate close to poor Mr. Trumbull’s farm, the very spot on which he had last seen Mary Lowther; but when he was there he could not endure to go through to the Vicarage. There is something mean to a man in the want of success in love. If a man lose a venture of money he can tell his friend; or if he be unsuccessful in trying for a seat in parliament; or be thrown out of a run in the hunting-field; or even if he be blackballed for a club; but a man can hardly bring himself to tell his dearest comrade that his Mary has preferred another man to himself. This wretched fact the Fenwicks already knew as to poor Gilmore’s Mary; and yet, though he had come down there, hoping for some comfort, he did not dare to face them. He went back all alone, and tumbled and tossed and fretted through the miserable night.

And the next morning was as bad. He hung about the place till about four, utterly crushed by his burden. It was a Saturday, and when the postman called no letter had yet been even written in answer to his uncle’s proposition. He was moping about the grounds, with his hands in his pockets, thinking of this, when suddenly Mrs. Fenwick appeared in the path before him. There had been another consultation that morning between herself and her husband, and this visit was the result of it. He dashed at the matter immediately.

“You have come,” he said, “to talk to me about Mary Lowther.”

“I have come to say a word, if I can, to comfort you. Frank bade me to come.”

“There isn’t any comfort,” he replied.

“We knew that it would be hard to bear, my friend,” she said, putting her hand within his arm; “but there is comfort.”

“There can be none for me. I had set my heart upon it so that I cannot forget it.”

“I know you had, and so had we. Of course there will be sorrow, but it will wear off.” He shook his head without speaking. “God is too good,” she continued, “to let such troubles remain with us long.”

“You think, then,” he said, “that there is no chance?”

What could she say to him? How, under the circumstances of Mary’s engagement, could she encourage his love for her friend?

“I know that there is none,” he continued. “I feel, Mrs. Fenwick, that I do not know what to do with myself or how to hold myself. Of course it is nonsense to talk about dying, but I do feel as though if I didn’t die I should go crazy. I can’t settle my mind to a single thing.”

“It is fresh with you yet, Harry,” she said. She had never called him Harry before, though her husband did so always, and now she used the name in sheer tenderness.

“I don’t know why such a thing should be different with me than with other people,” he said; “only perhaps I am weaker. But I’ve known from the very first that I have staked everything upon her. I have never questioned to myself that I was going for all or nothing. I have seen it before me all along, and now it has come. Oh, Mrs. Fenwick, if God would strike me dead this moment, it would be a mercy!” And then he threw himself on the ground at her feet. He was not there a moment before he was up again. “If you knew how I despise myself for all this, how I hate myself!”

She would not leave him, but stayed there till he consented to come down with her to the Vicarage. He should dine there, and Frank should walk back with him at night. As to that question of Mr. Chamberlaine’s visit, respecting which Mrs. Fenwick did not feel herself competent to give advice herself, it should become matter of debate between them and Frank, and then a man and horse could be sent to Salisbury on Sunday morning. As he walked down to the Vicarage with that pretty woman at his elbow, things perhaps were a little better with him.

XXIV

The Rev. Henry Fitzackerley Chamberlaine

It was decided that evening at the Vicarage that it would be better for all parties that the reverend uncle from Salisbury should be told to make his visit, and spend the next week at Hampton Privets; that is, that he should come on the Monday and stay till the Saturday. The letter was written down at the Vicarage, as Fenwick feared that it would never be written if the writing of it were left to the unassisted energy of the Squire. The letter was written, and the Vicar, who walked back to Hampton Privets with his friend, took care that it was given to a servant on that night.

On the Sunday nothing was seen of Mr. Gilmore. He did not come to church, nor would he dine at the Vicarage. He remained the whole day in his own house, pretending to write, trying to read, with accounts before him, with a magazine in his hand, even with a volume of sermons open on the table before him. But neither the accounts, nor the magazines, nor the sermons, could arrest his attention for a moment. He had staked everything on obtaining a certain object, and that object was now beyond his reach. Men fail often in other things, in the pursuit of honour, fortune, or power, and when they fail they can begin again. There was no beginning again for him. When Mary Lowther should have married this captain, she would be a thing lost to him forever;⁠—and was she not as bad as married to this man already? He could do nothing to stop her marriage.

Early in the afternoon of Monday the Rev. Henry Fitzackerley Chamberlaine reached Hampton Privets.