“She must be in love, Joe,” her mother half whined.
“That’s good,” he answered laconically. “It probably won’t last long. It will serve to take her mind off herself.”
“But suppose she gets foolish?” Jane had insisted, remembering no doubt her own foolishness, during a like period of her own life, with Emma Lou’s father.
“She’ll take care of herself,” Joe had returned with an assurance he did not feel. He, too, was worried, but he was also pleased at the change in Emma Lou. His only fear was that perhaps in the end she would make herself more miserable than she had ever been before. He did not know much about this Weldon fellow, who seemed to be a reliable enough chap, but no one had any way of discerning whether or no his intentions were entirely honorable. It was best, thought Joe, not to worry about such things. If, for the present, Emma Lou was more happy than she had ever been before, there would be time enough to worry about the future when its problems materialized.
“Don’t you worry about Emma Lou. She’s got sense.”
“But, Joe, suppose she does forget herself with this man? He is studying to be a doctor and he may not want a wife, especially when. …”
“Damn it, Jane!” her brother snapped at her. “Do you think everyone is like you? The boy seems to like her.”
“Men like anyone they can use, but you know as well as I that no professional man is going to marry a woman dark as Emma Lou.”
“Men marry anyone they love, just as you and I did.”
“But I was foolish.”
“Well?”
“That’s right—Be unconcerned. That’s right—Let her go to the devil. There’s no hope for her anyway. Oh—why—why did I marry Jim Morgan?” and she had gone into the usual crying fit which inevitably followed this self-put question.
Then, without any warning, as if to put an end to all problems, Weldon decided to become a Pullman porter. He explained to Emma Lou that he could make more money on the railroad than he could as a hotel waiter in Boise. It was necessary for his future that he make as much money as possible in as short a time as possible. Emma Lou saw the logic of this and agreed that it was the best possible scheme, until she realized that it meant his going away from Boise, perhaps forever. Oakland, California, was to be his headquarters, and he, being a new man, would not have a regular run. It was possible that he might be sent to different sections of the country each and every time he made a trip. There was no way of his knowing before he reported for duty just where he might be sent. It might be Boise or Palm Beach or Albany or New Orleans. One never knew. That was the life of the road, and one had to accept it in order to make money.
It made Emma Lou shiver to hear him talk so dispassionately about the matter. There didn’t seem to be the least note of regret in his voice, the least suggestion that he hated to leave her or that he would miss her, and, for the first time since the night of their physical union, Emma Lou began to realize that perhaps after all he did not feel toward her as she did toward him. He couldn’t possibly love her as much as she loved him, and, at the same time, remain so unconcerned about having to part from her. There was something radically wrong here, something conclusive and unexpected which was going to hurt her, going to plunge her back into unhappiness once more. Then she realized that not once had he ever spoken of marriage or even hinted that their relationship would continue indefinitely. He had said that he loved her, he had treated her kindly, and had seemed as thrilled as she over their physical contacts. But now it seemed that since he was no longer going to be near her, no longer going to need her body, he had forgotten that he loved her. It was then that all the old preachments of her mother and grandmother were resurrected and began to swirl through her mind. Hadn’t she been warned that men didn’t marry black girls? Hadn’t she been told that they would only use her for their sexual convenience? That was the case with Weldon! He hadn’t cared about her in the first place. He had taken up with her only because he was a stranger in the town and lonesome for a companion, and she, like a damn fool, had submitted herself to him! And now that he was about to better his condition, about to go someplace where he would have a wider circle of acquaintances, she was to be discarded and forgotten.
Thus Emma Lou reasoned to herself and grew bitter. It never occurred to her that the matter of her color had never once entered the mind of Weldon. Not once did she consider that he was acting toward her as he would have acted toward any girl under similar circumstances, whether her face had been white, yellow, brown, or black. Emma
