Well Al I cant hardily wait till tommorow a.m. and we get on the train for home and its after mid night now but I cant sleep on acct. of Im all exited up a bout geting home and seen little Al and Florrie again and I hope Allens tooken his wife a long to Calif. with him so as I and Florrie and little Al can have a little peace to our self wile Im home and I bet little Als talking by this time and cute as they make them and got a jaw full of teeth but may be he wont know me from a rabbit Al but he will know me before I get threw with him and after this he will remmember who I am because hes old enough now to know some thing and pretty near 9 mos. old. I wisht you could be there when he sees me Al and see how he acts when he sees his daddy and I bet he wont cry because I will make some of them comical faces at him and make him laugh even if he dont know who I am.
They was some exitemunt the last part of the trip on the boat Al and I put some thing over on these here smart alex gov. employs and when ever a boat comes in they get on the bord of it and serch evry body to see if there smugleing dimonds or perls or any thing valueble that they bought in farm countrys so of coarse if they find them things on you you got to pay your duty on them and I wouldent of knew any thing a bout it only Evans tiped me off and says I better hide that scarab or they would soke me good in plenty and I says I will keep it in my pockit and he says they will serch all threw your pockits so I says where shell I hide it then and he says Take a big chew and put the scarab in the chew and keep it in side your mouth.
So thats what I done Al and they dident never suspeck nothing and some of the rest of the gang had to come acrost and pay their duty on some of that junk they throwed there money a way on it in Cairo and japan and it dident cost me a nichol and all the wile I had some thing worth more then any of them but I come near chokeing to deth before it was all over and Demon Runyon a reporter for a N.Y. paper that met with us in Paris and made the rest of the trip from there the rest of the way a long with us says if he had of been the gov. employ that examuned me he would of put on a brown sute of cloths before he ast me any qestions.
Them fans from Chi charted a lunch and came out to meet us and the Pres. of the Boston club come out and sined Speaker up because the federal was after him and I dont know how much is the Boston club going to give him but it wont be no 10 thousend per anum and I bet he will wisht he hadent of been in such a hurry to sine up when he hears a bout I and Cobb and them.
Well they was a big parade down to the Doc to meet us and took us to the hotel and gave us a grate well come and evry body was glad to see us back safe again and we was glad to be back in the old U.S.A. where you dont half to lern no new farm languige evry 2 or 3 days and keep geting your money changed to liars and plasters and so 4th. As soon is we got to the hotel Schaefer called me to 1 side and says I must be sure and have a little poultry fixed up for the banquit so I went to my room and fixed up some thing for them Al to talk off at the banquit and heres what I give them and I wisht you could of herd them clap:
Well boys we been a round the world
All threw the diffrunt farm lands
and showed the Nat. game to
The peopl of evry land.But wear glad to be back again boys
In the good old U.S.A.
Where they dont talk no farm Dilex
Or no baby games to play.I pitched for Mcgraw and the giants
And give him the best I had
I win a lot of ball games but
Some times my suport was bad.But heres to the good old U.S.A.
Where all men has
