Jack Keefe Stories

japan to the U.S. and he took my kiding OK because I dident make it to raw. And he seen the baskit of flowers in my birth room and ast me what was I going to do with them and I says what do you supose Im going to do with them eat them and he says No I thot may be you was going leave them go to seed and then plow your shirt boozem up and start a garden and I says No Im not going to start no garden but Im going to male them home partial post to my wife from china and Schaefer says she will be glad to get them but you better write a note on the out side of the packige and tell the male carier to water them evry day or 2 on the way over so Schaefer raped up the flowers for me in a packige and left a hole in it so as theys a place to sqirt water on them and wrote on the out side for the male man to water them only of coarse it will be a hole lot of diffrunt male men that handles them before they get to Chicago and Schaefer wrote the note in china japan and englich so as they would all under stand it and may be they wont have time to put no water on them but if they dont Florrie wont care when she gets them because she will see Im thinking a bout her water or no water.

Well Al it looks like I would starve wile wear in china because I wont be able to eat none of there meat because Schaefer says all as they have is chop suye and over here in china they put rats in it and I says Well you wont get me to eat no chop suye with rats in it and Schaefer says Well then you will starve to deth because thats all you will get in the line of meat and did you ever taste rats and I says No and I wont never taste them nether and Schaefer says you dont know what your mising because when a rats been plucked and the rat poson tooken out of there cistern they aint no sweeter meat you can get a hold of accept may be mole stake. But I dont care weather its sweet or saur you wont catch me eating no rat meat and may be seting up my stumick again.

Schaefer and Evans has been lerning me a few words in china and there harder to lern then the japan words and hapened to be a lone by my self a way from the rest of the I only lerned a few just enough to get a long with if I party. When you want to say Wheres the Hotel you say Lie Hung Schang only of coarse that aint the fellow that catchs for the Athaletics and if a man pitched right to him he wouldent hit 1 out of the infield. And when you want to say how do do to 1 of them you say Chink Chink china man and if they ast me what position do I play I say Me velly bushy and that means Im a pitcher and if they ast me what club am I with I say Chi White sockee Tong. And when you want to say good by to them you say Go helly. Aint them crazy words Al and a man that lerns the hole languige must be a wonder only of coarse some of them dont never lern nothing else but beggins to talk china when there still babys yet but Im glad little Al wont half to lern to talk by talking china because it must be hard enough for a baby to lern plane englich when your nothing but a baby.

Well Al may be I can eat a little some thing now and Im going to eat all as I can hold before we get to china where I wont be able to eat no meat and for all as I know they put some thing in there potatos to may be gravey made out of parish green or some thing.

Tommorow we will be in Schang High and I will write you what comes off and I will male this here letter Im writeing now a long with the other 1 I all ready wrote from Schang High and the flowers for Florrie.

Your pal.
Jack.

on the Ship bord. Dec. 12.

Al: Well Al wear all threw with Schang High and now wear on our way to Honk Honk and we left Schang High last night and was only there 1 day and we get to Honk Honk the next day after tommorow and we stay there 1 day and then wear threw with china for good and I will be glad of it on acct of you cant eat nothing in china with out your takeing a chanct of geting posoned and Im glad we can have the most of our meals on the Ship bord because I wont eat none of that china dope and the rest of them can be suckers if they have a mind.

Well we got in to Wooze Hung yest. a.m. and then we got off of the Umpires of japan and got a bord of the tender boat and road to Schang High and we got there a bout ½ past 10 in the a.m. and they was a comitty to meet us down to the Doc and they was members of the china amature B.B. league and Evans says to me Well you should ought to feel at home a round here and I says Why and he says because theys so many amature ball players and they took us up to the aster House Hotel and we