Now there was a very bland, natty, moustachioed young man sitting there who had been drinking away quietly in the corner without talking to anyone except for an occasional “Cheerio” to Judge Skimp. Suddenly he got up and said:
“Bet-you-can’t-do-this.”
He put three halfpennies on the table, moved them about very deliberately for a bit, and then looked up with an expression of pride. “Only touched each halfpenny five times, and changed their positions twice,” he said. “Do-it-again if you like.”
“Well, isn’t he a clever boy?” said Lottie. “Wherever did they teach you that?”
“Chap-in-a-train showed me,” he said.
“It didn’t look very hard,” said Adam.
“Just-you-try. Bet-you-anything-you-like you can’t do it.”
“How much will you bet?” Lottie loved this kind of thing.
“Anything-you-like. Five hundred pounds.”
“Go on,” said Lottie. “You do it. He’s got lots of money.”
“All right,” said Adam.
He took the halfpennies and moved them about just as the young man had done. When he finished he said, “How’s that?”
“Well I’m jiggered,” said the young man. “Never saw anyone do it like that before. I’ve won a lot of money this week with that trick. Here you are.” And he took out a notecase and gave Adam a five-hundred-pound note. Then he sat down in his corner again.
“Well,” said Lottie with approval, “that’s sporting. Give the boys a drink for that.”
So they all had another drink.
Presently the young man stood up again.
“Toss you double-or-quits,” he said. “Best-out-of-three.”
“All right,” said Adam.
They tossed twice and Adam won both times.
“Well I’m jiggered,” said the young man, handing over another note. “You’re a lucky chap.”
“He’s got pots of money,” said Lottie. “A thousand pounds is nothing to him.”
She liked to feel like that about all her guests. Actually in this young man’s case she was wrong. He happened to have all that money in his pocket because he had just sold out his few remaining securities to buy a new motor car. So next day he bought a secondhand motor bicycle instead.
Adam felt a little dizzy, so he had another drink.
“D’you mind if I telephone?” he said.
He rang up Nina Blount.
“Is that Nina?”
“Adam, dear, you’re tight already.”
“How d’you know?”
“I can hear it. What is it? I’m just going out to dinner.”
“I just rang up to say that it’s all right about our getting married. I’ve got a thousand pounds.”
“Oh good. How?”
“I’ll tell you when we meet. Where are you dining?”
“Ritz. Archie. Darling. I am glad about our getting married.”
“So am I. But don’t let’s get intense about it.”
“I wasn’t, and anyway you’re tight.”
He went back to the parlour. Miss Runcible had arrived and was standing in the hall very much dressed up.
“Who’s that tart?” asked Lottie.
“That’s not a tart, Lottie, that’s Agatha Runcible.”
“Looks like a tart. How do you do, my dear, come in. We’re just thinking of having a little drink. You know everyone here, of course, don’t you? That’s the King with the beard. … No, dearie, the King of Ruritania. You didn’t mind my taking you for a tart, did you, dear? You look so like one, got up like that. Of course, I can see you aren’t now.”
“My dear,” said Miss Runcible, “if you’d seen me this afternoon …” and she began to tell Lottie Crump about the Customs House.
“What would you do if you suddenly got a thousand pounds?” Adam asked.
“A thousand pound,” said the King, his eyes growing dreamy at this absurd vision. “Well, first I should buy a house and a motor car and a yacht and a new pair of gloves, and then I would start one little newspaper in my country to say that I must come back and be the King, and then I don’t know what I do, but I have such fun and grandness again.”
“But you can’t do all that with a thousand pounds, you know, sir.”
“No … can’t I not? … not with thousand pound. … Oh, well, then I think I buy a gold pen with eagles on him like the Liberals stole.”
“I know what I’d do,” said the Major. “I’d put it on a horse.”
“What horse?”
“I can tell you a likely outsider for the November Handicap. Horse named Indian Runner. It’s at twenty to one at present, and the odds are likely to lengthen. Now if you were to put a thousand on him to win and he won, why you’d be rich, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, so I would. How marvellous. D’you know, I think I’ll do that. It’s a very good idea. How can I do it?”
“Just you give me the thousand and I’ll arrange it.”
“I say, that’s awfully nice of you.”
“Not at all.”
“No, really, I think that’s frightfully nice of you. Look, here’s the money. Have a drink, won’t you?”
“No, you have one with me.”
“I said it first.”
“Let’s both have one, then.”
“Wait a minute though, I must go and telephone about this.”
He rang up the Ritz and got on to Nina.
“Darling, you do telephone a lot, don’t you?”
“Nina, I’ve something very important to say.”
“Yes, darling.”
“Nina, have you heard of a horse called Indian Runner?”
“Yes, I think so. Why?”
“What sort of a horse is it?”
“My dear, quite the worst sort of horse. Mary Mouse’s mother owns it.”
“Not a good horse?”
“No.”
“Not likely to win the November Handicap, I mean.”
“Quite sure not to. I don’t suppose it’ll run even. Why?”
“I say, Nina, d’you know I don’t think we shall be able to get married after all.”
“Why not, my sweet?”
“You see, I’ve put my thousand pounds on Indian Runner.”
“That was silly. Can’t you get it back?”
“I gave it to a Major.”
“What sort of a Major?”
“Rather a drunk one. I don’t know his name.”
“Well, I should try and catch him. I must go back and eat now. Goodbye.”
But when he got back to Lottie’s parlour the Major was gone.
“What Major?” said Lottie, when he asked about him. “I never saw a Major.”
“The one you introduced me to in the corner.”
“How d’you know he’s a Major?”
“You said he was.”
“My dear boy, I’ve never seen him before. Now
