“What about?”
“Couldn’t say, my lord, but he’s got a whip. Seems very put out about something.”
“Tell him the social editor is having luncheon. … Do ring up Margot.”
Adam said, “Margot, may I bring someone with me tonight?”
“Well, Adam, I really don’t think you can. I can’t imagine how everyone’s going to get in as it is. I’m terribly sorry, who is it?”
“Simon Balcairn. He’s particularly anxious to come.”
“I dare say he is. I’m rather against that young man. He’s written things about me in the papers.”
“Please, Margot.”
“Certainly not. I won’t have him inside my house. I’ve only asked Van on the strictest understanding that he doesn’t write anything about it. I don’t wish to have anything more to do with Simon Balcairn.”
“My dear, how rich you sound.”
“I feel my full income when that young man is mentioned. Goodbye. See you tonight.”
“You needn’t tell me,” said Balcairn. “I know what she’s said … it’s no good, is it?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Done for …” said Balcairn. “… End of the tether. …” He turned over some slips of paper listlessly. “Would it interest you to hear that Agatha and Archie are engaged?”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Neither do I. One of our people has just sent it in. Half of what they send us is lies, and the other half libel … they sent us a long story about Miles and Pamela Popham having spent last night at Arundel. … But we couldn’t use it even if it were true, which it obviously isn’t, knowing Miles. Thank you for doing what you could … goodbye.”
Downstairs in the outer office there was an altercation in progress. A large man of military appearance was shaking and stamping in front of a middle-aged woman. Adam recognized the social editress.
“Answer me, yes or no,” the big man was saying. “Are you or are you not responsible for this damnable lie about my daughter?”
(He had read in Simon Balcairn’s column that his daughter had been seen at a night club. To anyone better acquainted with Miss Strapper’s habits of life the paragraph was particularly reticent.)
“Yes, or no,” cried the General, “or I’ll shake the life out of you.”
“No.”
“Then who is? Let me get hold of the cad who wrote it. Where is he?” roared the General.
“Upstairs,” the social editress managed to say.
“More trouble for Simon,” thought Adam.
Adam went to pick Nina up at her flat. They had arranged to go to a cinema together. She said, “You’re much later than you said. It’s so boring to be late for a talkie.”
He said, “Talkies are boring, anyhow.”
They treated each other quite differently after their night’s experiences. Adam was inclined to be egotistical and despondent; Nina was rather grown-up and disillusioned and distinctly cross. Adam began to say that as far as he could see he would have to live on at Shepheard’s now for the rest of his life, or at any rate for the rest of Lottie’s life, as it wouldn’t be fair to leave without paying the bill.
Then Nina said, “Do be amusing, Adam. I can’t bear you when you’re not amusing.”
Then Adam began to tell her about Simon Balcairn and Margot’s party. He described how he had seen Simon being horsewhipped in the middle of the office.
Nina said, “Yes, that’s amusing. Go on like that.”
The story of Simon’s whipping lasted them all the way to the cinema. They were very late for the film Nina wanted to see, and that set them back again. They didn’t speak for a long time. Then Nina said apropos of the film, “All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I’d sooner go to my dentist any day.”
Adam said, “You’ll enjoy it more next time.”
Nina said, “Next time,” and told him that he took too much for granted.
Adam said that was a phrase which only prostitutes used.
Then they started a real quarrel which lasted all through the film and all the way to Nina’s flat and all the time she was cutting up a lemon and making a cocktail, until Adam said that if she didn’t stop going on he would ravish her there and then on her own hearthrug.
Then Nina went on.
But by the time that Adam went to dress she had climbed down enough to admit that perhaps love was a thing one could grow to be fond of after a time, like smoking a pipe. Still she maintained that it made one feel very ill at first, and she doubted if it was worth it.
Then they began to argue at the top of the lift about whether acquired tastes were ever worth acquiring. Adam said it was imitation, and that it was natural to man to be imitative, so that acquired tastes were natural.
But the presence of the lift boy stopped that argument coming to a solution as the other had done.
“My, ain’t this classy,” said Divine Discontent.
“It’s all right,” said Chastity in a worldly voice. “Nothing to make a song and dance about.”
“Who’s making a song and dance? I just said it was classy—and it is classy, ain’t it?”
“I suppose everything’s classy to some people.”
“Now you two,” said Temperance, who had been put in charge of the angels for the evening, “don’t you start anything in here, not with your wings on. Mrs. Ape won’t stand for scrapping in wings, and you know it.”
“Who’s starting anything?”
“Well, you are then.”
“Oh, it’s no use talking to Chastity. She’s too high and mighty to be an angel now. Went out for a drive with Mrs. Panrast in a Rolls Royce,” said Fortitude. “I saw her. I was so sorry it rained all the time, or it might have been quite enjoyable, mightn’t it, Chastity?”
“Well, you ought to be glad. Leaves the men for you, Fortitude. Only they don’t seem to want to take advantage, do they?”
Then they talked about men for some time. Divine Discontent thought the second footman had nice eyes.
“And he knows it,” said Temperance.
They were all having supper together in what was still called the schoolroom in Lady Metroland’s house. From
