“Curse me if ever I go into that place again.” After a time he added: “Unless ’tis a matter of duty.”
I didn’t say anything; my nerves were still jangling to that shrieking, and to the clang of the iron doors that had closed behind me. I had an irresistible impulse to get hold of the iron candlestick and smash it home through the skull of the turnkey—as I had done to the men who had killed Seraphina’s father … to kill this man, then to creep along the black passages and murder man after man beside those iron doors until I got to the open air.
He began again. “You’d think we’d get used to it—you’d think we would—but ’tis a strain for us. You never knows what the prisoners will do at a scene like that there. It drives ’em mad. Look at this scar. Machell the forger done that for me, ’fore he was condemned, after a sermon like that—a quiet, gentlemanly man, much like you. Lord, yes, ’tis a strain. …” He paused, still wiping his face, then went on: “And I swear that when I sees them men sit there in that black pew, an’ hev heard the hammers going clack, clack on the scaffolding outside, and knew that they hadn’t no more chance than you have to get out of there …” He pointed his short thumb towards the handkerchief of an opening, where the little blur of blue light wavered through the two iron frames crossed in the nine feet of well. “Lord, you never gets used to it. You wants them to escape; ’tis in the air through the whole prison, even the debtors. I tells myself again and again, ‘You’re a fool for your pains.’ But it’s the same with the others—my mates. You can’t get it out of your mind. That little kid now. I’ve seen children swing; but that little kid—as sure to swing as what … as what you are. …”
“You think I am going to swing?” I asked.
I didn’t want to kill him any more; I wanted too much to hear him talk. I hadn’t heard anything for months and months of solitude, of darkness—on board the admiral’s ship, stranded in the guardship at Plymouth, bumping round the coast, and now here in Newgate. And it had been darkness all the time. Jove! That Cuban time, with its movements, its pettiness, its intrigue, its warmth, even its villainies showed plainly enough in the chill of that blackness. It had been romance, that life.
Little, and far away, and irrevocably done with, it showed all golden. There wasn’t any romance where I lay then; and there had been irons on my wrists; gruff hatred, the darkness, and always despair.
On board the flagship coming home I had been chained down in the cable-tier—a place where I could feel every straining of the great ship. Once these had risen to a pandemonium, a frightful tumult. There was a great gale outside. A sailor came down with a lantern, and tossed my biscuit to me.
“You d⸺d pirate,” he said, “maybe it’s you saving us from drowning.”
“Is the gale very bad?” I had called.
He muttered—and the fact that he spoke to me at all showed how great the strain of the weather must have been to wring any words out of him:
“Bad—there’s a large Indiaman gone. We saw her one minute and then …” He went away, muttering.
And suddenly the thought had come to me. What if the Indiaman were the Lion—the Lion with Seraphina on board? The man would not speak to me when he came again. No one would speak to me; I was a pirate who had fired on his own countrymen. And the thought had pursued me right into Newgate—if she were dead; if I had taken her from that security, from that peace, to end there. … And to end myself.
“Swing!” the turnkey said; “you’ll swing right enough.” He slapped the great key on his flabby hand. “You can tell that by the signs. You, being an Admiralty case, ought to have been in the Marshalsea. And you’re ordered solitary cell, and I’m tipped the straight wink against your speaking a blessed word to a blessed soul. Why don’t they let you see an attorney? Why? Because they mean you to swing.”
I said, “Never mind that. Have you heard of a ship called the Lion? Can you find out about her?”
He shook his head cunningly, and did not answer. If the Lion had been here, I must have heard. They couldn’t have left me here.
I said, “For God’s sake find out. Get me a shipping gazette.”
He affected not to hear.
“There’s money in plenty,” I said.
He winked ponderously and began again. “Oh, you’ll swing all right. A man with nothing against him has a chance; with the rhino he has it, even if he’s guilty. But you’ll swing. Charlie, who brought you back just now, had a chat with the ’Torney-General’s devil’s clerk’s clerk, while old Nog o’ Bow Street was trying to read their Spanish. He says it’s a Gov’nment matter. They wants to hang you bad, they do, so’s to go to the Jacky Spaniards and say, ‘He were a nob, a nobby nob.’ (So you are, aren’t you? One uncle an earl and t’other a dean, if so be what they say’s true.) ‘He were a nobby nob and we swung ’im. Go you’n do likewise.’ They want a striking example t’ keep the West India trade quiet …” He wiped his forehead and moved my water jug of red
