V
How Simplicissimus Rode Courier and in the Likeness of Mercury Learned from Jove What His Design Was as Regards War and Peace
So as soon as Herzbruder could ride we despatched our money (for now we had but one purse in common) by way of banker’s draft to Basel, equipped ourselves with horses and servants, and made our way up the Danube to Ulm and thence to the Spa before mentioned, for now ’twas May and pleasant travelling. There did we hire a lodging: but I rid to Strasbourg, not only to receive in part our money which we had conveyed thither by way of Basel, but also to inquire for the medicos of experience that should prescribe for Herzbruder recipes and the manner of his taking the baths. These came to me, and were of opinion that Herzbruder had indeed been poisoned, yet was the poison not strong enough to kill him offhand, and therefore it had made its way into his limbs, from whence it must be evacuated by drugs, antidotes and sweating-baths, which cure would last some eight weeks or so. At that Herzbruder remembered at once when and by whom that poison had been given him; namely, by them that would have had his place in the army: and when he further learned from the physicians that his cure needed no spa, then was he assured the field-surgeon had by his enemies been bribed to send him so far away: yet did he resolve to complete his cure there at the spa, for ’twas not only a healthy air but also there was cheerful company among the bathing-guests.
This time would I not waste: for I had a desire to see my wife once more: and since Herzbruder needed me not greatly, I did open to him my project, which he did praise, and advised me I should visit her, giving me also certain trinkets of price which I should on his behalf present to her, and therewith beg her pardon for that he had been the cause why I had not before sought her out. With that I rode to Strasbourg, and not only provided myself with moneys but inquired also how I might prosecute my journey in the safest way: whereupon I found ’twas not to be accomplished by a horseman riding alone; for the roads were made unsafe by the parties sent out from so many garrisons of the two contending armies. So I got me a pass for a post-rider of Strasbourg, and drew up certain letters to my wife, her sisters, and her parents, as I would send him with them to Lippstadt: yet feigned to be of a different mind, took back the pass from the messenger, sent back my horse and servant, and disguised myself in a red and white livery: in that I journeyed by ship to Cologne, which was at that time neutral between the two parties.
And first I must go to visit my Jupiter, that had aforetime appointed me his Ganymede, to ask how it fared with the property I had left there: but him I found quite brainsick again and full of anger against the human race. “O Mercury,” says he, as soon as he saw me, “what news from Münster? Do men conceive they can make peace without my good will? Nay, never! they did have peace. Why kept they it not? Was not vice everywhere triumphant when they provoked me to send them war? And how have they deserved that I should give them peace again? Have they since been converted? Are they not become worse, and do they not run into war as to a festival? Or have they perchance repented them by reason of the famine that I sent among them, whereof so many thousands died of hunger? Or hath the grievous pestilence terrified them to better their ways, whereby so many millions were cut off? Nay, nay, Mercurius, they that remain, that did see these dreadful sufferings with their own eyes, have not only not repented, but be grown worse than ever they were. And if they have not been turned by so many sore plagues, nor have ceased to live in godless wise in the midst of such trial and tribulation, what will they do if I should grant them again the delights of golden peace? Then must I fear lest, as once did the giants, so they now should try to storm my heaven. But such overweening I will check in good time and leave them to perish in their war.” But I knowing how one must go about with this god if one would make him hear reason, “Oh, great god,” says I, “all the world doth sigh for peace and promise great amendment: why wilt thou then continue to refuse them such?” “Yea,” answered Jupiter, “doubtless they sigh: yet not for my sake but their own: not that each may praise God under his own vine and fig-tree, but that they may enjoy the fruit thereof in peace and delight. Of late I asked of a scurvy tailor, should I give him peace? He gave me answer, ’twas the same to him, that must ply his needle as well in peace as in war: and the like answer I got from a brazier, which said if he could get no bells to found in peace time,
