The Adventurous Simplicissimus

specially because many would game away their arms and horse, yea, even their poor rations of food, therefore now ’tis not only publicly allowed, but this particular place is appointed therefore, that the mainguard may be at hand to prevent any harm that might happen: yet they cannot always hinder that one or the other fall not dead on the spot. And inasmuch as this gaming is the tormenting devil’s own device, and bringeth him no small gain, therefore hath he ordained especial gaming-devils, that prowl around in the world and have naught else to do but to tempt men to play. To these divers wanton companions bind themselves by certain pacts and agreements, that the devil may suffer them to win: yet can a man among ten thousand gamesters scarce find a rich one: nay, on the contrary part, they are poor and needy because their winnings are lightly esteemed, and therefore either gambled away again or wasted in vile pleasures. Hence is derived that true yet sad saying, ‘The devil never leaveth the gamester, yet leaveth him ever poor,’ for he taketh from them goods, courage, and honour, and then quitteth them no more (except God’s infinite mercy save them) till he have made an end of their souls. Yea, and should there be a gamester of so merry a heart by nature and so sprightly that by no ill-luck or loss he can be brought to despair, to recklessness, and all the accursed sins that spring therefrom, then doth the sly and cunning fiend suffer him to win mightily, that in the end he may, by waste and pride and gluttony and drunkenness and loose life, bring him into his net.” Thereat I crossed myself and blessed myself to think that in a Christian army such things should be allowed which the devil himself invented, and specially because visibly and palpably such damage and harm for this world and the next followed therefrom. Yet my governor said all that he had told me was as yet nought; for he who would undertake to describe all the harm that came from gaming would begin an impossible task. For as men say, so soon as the hazard is thrown ’tis now in the devil’s hands, so should I fancy that with every die, as it rolled from the player’s hand upon cloak or table, there ran a little devil, to guide it and make it show as many points as his master’s interest demanded. And further, I should reflect that ’twas not for nought that the devil entered into the game so heartily, but doubtless because he contrived to make fine gains out of it himself. “And with that note thou further,” says he, “that just as there are wont to stand by the gaming-place certain chafferers and Jews, which buy from the players at cheap rate what they have won, as rings, apparel or jewels, or are ready to change such for money for them to game away, so also there be devils walking to and fro, that they may arouse and foster thoughts that may destroy the souls in the gamesters that have ceased to play, be they winners or losers. For the winners the devil will build terrible castles in the air; but into them that have lost, whose spirit is already quite distraught and therefore the more apt to receive his harmful counsels, he instilleth, doubtless, such thoughts and designs as can but tend to their eternal ruin. Yea, I assure thee, Simplicissimus, I am of the mind to write a book hereupon so soon as I can come in peace to my own again. And in that I will describe first the loss of precious time, which is squandered to no purpose in gaming, and no less the fearful curses with which men blaspheme God over their gaming-tables. Then will I likewise recount the taunts with which men provoke one another, and will adduce many fearful examples and stories which have happened in, during, and after play: and there will I not forget the duels and homicides that have happened by reason of gaming. Yea, I will portray in their true colours set before men’s eyes the greed, the rage, the envy, the jealousy, the falsehood, the deceit, the covetousness, the thievery, and, in a word all the senseless follies both of dicers and of cardplayers; that they who read this book but once, may conceive such a horror of gaming as if they had drunk sows’ milk (which folk are wont to give to gamesters without their knowledge, to cure their madness). So will I show to all Christendom that the dear God is more blasphemed by a single regiment of gamesters than by a whole army with their curses.” And this project I praised, and wished him the opportunity to carry it out.

XXI

Is Somewhat Shorter and More Entertaining Than the Last

Now my governor grew more and more kindly disposed to me, and I to him, yet kept we our friendship very secret: ’tis true I acted still as a fool, yet I played no bawdy tricks or buffooneries, so that my carriage and conduct were indeed simple enough yet rather witty than witless. My colonel, who had a mighty liking for the chase, took me with him once when he went out to catch partridges with the draw-net, which invention pleased me hugely. But because the dog we had was so hot that he would spring for the birds before we could pull the strings, and so we could catch but little, therefore I counselled the colonel to couple the bitch with a falcon or an osprey (as men do with horses and asses when they would have mules), that the young puppies might have wings, and so could with them catch the birds in the air. I proposed also, since it went right sleepily with the conquest of Magdeburg, which we then besieged, to make ready