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all. Acis Cut the cackle; and come to the synthetic couple. Several Youths And Maidens Yes, yes. No more talking. Let us have them. Dry up, Pyg; and fetch them along. Come on: out with them! The synthetic couple. Pygmalion Waving his hands to appease them. Very well, very well. Will you please whistle for them? They respond to the stimulus of a whistle. All who can, whistle like streetboys. Ecrasia Makes a wry face and puts her fingers in her ears. ! Pygmalion Sh-sh-sh! That’s enough: that’s enough: that’s enough. Silence. Now let us have some music. A dance tune. Not too fast. The flutists play a quiet dance. Martellus Prepare yourselves for something ghastly. Two figures, a man and woman of noble appearance, beautifully modelled and splendidly attired, emerge hand in hand from the temple. Seeing that all eyes are fixed on them, they halt on the steps, smiling with gratified vanity. The woman is on the man’s left. Pygmalion Rubbing his hands with the purring satisfaction of a creator. This way, please. The Figures advance condescendingly and pose themselves centrally between the curved seats. Pygmalion Now if you will be so good as to oblige us with a little something. You dance so beautifully, you know. He sits down next Martellus, and whispers to him. It is extraordinary how sensitive they are to the stimulus of flattery. The Figures, with a gracious air, dance pompously, but very passably. At the close they bow to one another. On All Hands Clapping. Bravo! Thank you. Wonderful! Splendid. Perfect. The Figures acknowledge the applause in an obvious condition of swelled head. The Newly Born Can they make love? Pygmalion Yes: they can respond to every stimulus. They have all the reflexes. Put your arm round the man’s neck, and he will put his arm round your body. He cannot help it. The Female Figure Frowning. Round mine, you mean. Pygmalion Yours, too, of course, if the stimulus comes from you. Ecrasia Cannot he do anything original? Pygmalion No. But then, you know, I do not admit that any of us can do anything really original, though Martellus thinks we can. Acis Can he answer a question? Pygmalion Oh yes. A question is a stimulus, you know. Ask him one. Acis To the Male Figure. What do you think of what you see around you? Of us, for instance, and our ways and doings? The Male Figure I have not seen the newspaper today. The Female Figure How can you expect my husband to know what to think of you if you give him his breakfast without his paper? Martellus You see. He is a mere automaton. The Newly Born I don’t think I should like him to put his arm round my neck. I don’t like them. The Male Figure looks offended, and the Female jealous. Oh, I thought they couldn’t understand. Have they feelings? Pygmalion Of course they have. I tell you they have all the reflexes. The Newly Born But feelings are not reflexes. Pygmalion They are sensations. When the rays of light enter their eyes and make a picture on their retinas, their brains become conscious of the picture and they act accordingly. When the waves of sound started by your speaking enter their ears and record a disparaging remark on their keyboards, their brains become conscious of the disparagement and resent it accordingly. If you did not disparage them they would not resent it. They are merely responding to a stimulus. The Male Figure

We are part of a cosmic system. Free will is an illusion. We are the children of Cause and Effect. We are the Unalterable, the Irresistible, the Irresponsible, the Inevitable.

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.

There is a general stir of curiosity at this.

Acis What the dickens does he mean? The Male Figure Silence, base accident of Nature. This taking the hand of the Female Figure and introducing her is Cleopatra-Semiramis, consort of the king of kings, and therefore queen of queens. Ye are things hatched from eggs by the brainless sun and the blind fire; but the king of kings and queen of queens are not accidents of the egg: they are thought-out and handmade to receive the sacred Life Force. There is one person of the king and one of the queen; but the Life Force of the king and queen is all one: the glory equal, the majesty coeternal. Such as the king is so is the queen, the king thought-out and handmade, the queen thought-out and handmade. The actions of the king are caused, and therefore determined, from the beginning of the world to the end; and the actions of the queen are likewise. The king logical and predetermined and inevitable, and the queen logical and predetermined and inevitable. And yet they are not two logical and predetermined and inevitable, but one logical and predetermined and inevitable. Therefore confound not the persons, nor divide the substance: but worship us twain as one throne, two in one and one in two, lest by error ye fall into irretrievable damnation. The Female Figure And if any say unto you “Which one?” remember that though there is one person of the king and one of the queen, yet these two persons are not alike, but are woman and man, and that as woman was created after man, the skill and practice gained in making him were added to her, wherefore she is to be exalted above him in all personal respects, and⁠— The Male Figure Peace, woman; for this is a damnable heresy. Both Man and Woman are what they are and must do what they must according to the eternal laws of Cause and Effect. Look to your words; for if they enter my ear and jar too repugnantly on my sensorium, who knows that the inevitable response to that stimulus may not be a message to my muscles to snatch up some heavy object and break you