The Battle of the Century
I
I don’t know nothing that you don’t know, but if you want to hear it again, all right. I’ll have to start back pretty near two years ago, the first time I seen Jim after
you, but you are worried on account of the publishers not treating you fair in regards to your song and that is why your letter sounded so distant. If that is the case I hope that by this time matters have rectified themselves and the future looks brighter. But any way, Mr. Lewis, don’t allow yourself to worry over business cares as they will all come right in the end and I always think it is silly for people to worry themselves sick over temporary troubles, but the best way is to “keep smiling” and look for the “silver lining” in the cloud. That is the way I always do and no matter what happens, I manage to smile and my girlfriend, Edie, calls me Sunny because I always look on the bright side.
Remember also, Mr. Lewis, that $60 is a salary that a great many men would like to be getting and are living on less than that and supporting a wife and family on it. I always say that a person can get along on whatever amount they make if they manage things in the right way.
So if it is business troubles, Mr. Lewis, I say don’t worry, but look on the bright side. But if it is something I wrote in my last letter that offended you I wish you would tell me what it was so I can apologize as I assure you I meant nothing and would not say anything to hurt you for the world.
Please let me hear from you soon as I will not feel comfortable until I know I am not to blame for the sudden change.
N.Y. Sept. 24.
Dear Miss Gillespie: Just a few lines to tell you the big news or at least it is big news to me. I am engaged to be married to Paul Sears’ sister and we are going to be married early next month and live in Atlantic City where the orchestra I have been playing with has got an engagement in one of the big cabarets.
I know this will be a surprise to you as it was even a surprise to me as I did not think I would ever have the nerve to ask the girlie the big question as she was always so cold and acted like I was just in the way. But she said she supposed she would have to marry somebody sometime and she did not dislike me as much as most of the other men her brother brought round and she would marry me with the understanding that she would not have to be a slave and work round the house and also I would have to take her to a show or somewheres every night and if I could not take her myself she would “run wild” alone. Atlantic City will be OK for that as a lot of new shows opens down there and she will be able to see them before they get to the big town. As for her being a slave, I would hate to think of marrying a girl and then have them spend their lives in druggery round the house. We are going to live in a hotel till we find something better but will be in no hurry to start house keeping as we will have to buy all new furniture.
Betsy is some doll when she is all fixed up and believe me she knows how to fix herself up. I don’t know what she uses but it is weather proof and I have been out in a rain storm with her and we both got drowned but her face stayed on. I would almost think it was real only she tells me different.
Well girlie I may write to you again once in a wile as Betsy says she don’t give a damn if I write to all the girls in the world just so I don’t make her read the answers but that is all I can think of to say now except good bye and good luck and may the right man come along soon and he will be a lucky man getting a girl that is such a good cook and got all that furniture etc.
But just let me give you a word of advice before I close and that is don’t never speak to strange men who you don’t know nothing about as they may get you wrong and think you are trying to make them. It just happened that I knew better so you was lucky in my case but the luck might not last.
Chicago, Ill., Sept. 27.
My Dear Mr. Lewis: Thanks for your advice and also thank your fiancé for her generosity in allowing you to continue your correspondence with her “rivals,” but personly I have no desire to take advantage of that generosity as I have something better to do than read letters from a man like you, a specially as I have a man friend who is not so generous as Miss Sears and would strongly object to my continuing a correspondence with another man. It is at his request that I am writing this note to tell you not to expect to hear from me again.
Allow me to congratulate you on your engagement to Miss Sears and I am sure she is to be congratulated too, though if I met the lady I would be tempted to ask her to tell me her secret, namely how she is going to “run wild” on $60.
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