The Missus had bought one o’ the daily programs they get out and she knowed just what we had to do the rest o’ the day.
“For the next couple hours,” she says, “we can suit ourself.”
“All right,” says I. “It suits me to take off my shoes and lay down.”
“I’ll rest, too,” she says; “but at half past four we have to be in the Coconut Grove for tea and dancin’. And then we come back to the room and dress for dinner. Then we eat and then we set around till the evenin’ dance starts. Then we dance till we’re ready for bed.”
“Who do we dance all these dances with?” I ast her.
“With whoever we get acquainted with,” she says.
“All right,” says I; “but let’s be careful.”
Well, we took our nap and then we followed schedule and had our tea in the Coconut Grove. You know how I love tea! My feet was still achin’ and the Missus couldn’t talk me into no dance.
When we’d set there an hour and was saturated with tea, the Wife says it was time to go up and change into our Tuxedos. I was all in when we reached the room and willin’ to even pass up supper and nestle in the hay, but I was informed that the biggest part o’ the day’s doin’s was yet to come. So from six o’clock till after seven I wrestled with studs, and hooks and eyes that didn’t act like they’d ever met before and wasn’t anxious to get acquainted, and then down we went again to the dinin’ room.
“How about a little bronix before the feed?” I says.
“It would taste good,” says the Missus.
So I called Eph and give him the order. In somethin’ less than half an hour he come back empty-handed.
“You ain’t got no cocktail stuff,” he says.
“I certainly have,” says I. “I ordered it early this afternoon.”
“Where at?” he ast me.
“Over in the bar,” I says.
“Oh, the regular bar!” he says. “That don’t count. You got to have stuff at the service bar to get it served in here.”
“I ain’t as thirsty as I thought I was,” says I.
“Me, neither,” says the Missus.
So we went ahead and ordered our meal, and w’ile we was waitin’ for it a young couple come and took the other two chairs at our table. They didn’t have to announce through a megaphone that they was honeymooners. It was wrote all over ’em. They was reachin’ under the table for each other’s hand every other minute, and when they wasn’t doin’ that they was smilin’ at each other or gigglin’ at nothin’. You couldn’t feel that good and be payin’ seventeen dollars a day for room and board unless you was just married or somethin’.
I thought at first their company’d be fun, but after a few meals it got like the southern cookin’ and begun to undermine the health.
The conversation between they and us was what you could call limited. It took place the next day at lunch. The young husband thought he was about to take a bite o’ the entry, which happened to be roast mutton with syrup; but he couldn’t help from lookin’ at her at the same time and his empty fork started for his face prongs up.
“Look out for your eye,” I says.
He dropped the fork and they both blushed till you could see it right through the sunburn. Then they give me a Mexican look and our acquaintance was at an end.
This first night, when we was through eatin’, we wandered out in the lobby and took seats where we could watch the passin’ show. The men was all dressed like me, except I was up to date and had on a mushroom shirt, w’ile they was sportin’ the old-fashioned concrete bosom. The women’s dresses begun at the top with a belt, and some o’ them stopped at the mezzanine floor, w’ile others went clear down to the basement and helped keep the rugs clean. They was one that must of thought it was the Fourth o’ July. From the top of her head to where the top of her bathin’ suit had left off, she was a red, red rose. From there to the top of her gown was white, and her gown, what they was of it—was blue.
“My!” says the Missus. “What stunnin’ gowns!”
“Yes,” I says; “and you could have one just like ’em if you’d take the shade offen the piano lamp at home and cut it down to the right size.”
Round ten o’clock we wandered in the Palm Garden, where the dancin’ had been renewed. The Wife wanted to plunge right in the mazes o’ the foxy trot.
“I’ll take some courage first,” says I. And then was when I found out that it cost you ten cents extra besides the tip to pay for a drink that you already owned in fee simple.
Well, I guess we must of danced about six dances together and had that many quarrels before she was ready to go to bed. And oh, how grand that old hay-pile felt when I finally bounced into it!
The next day we went to the ocean at the legal hour—half past eleven. I never had so much fun in my life. The surf was runnin’ high, I heard ’em say; and I don’t know which I’d rather do, go bathin’ in the ocean at Palm Beach when the surf is runnin’ high, or have a dentist get one o’ my molars ready for a big inlay at a big outlay. Once in a w’ile I managed to not get throwed on my head when a wave hit me. As for swimmin’, you had just as much
