“That’s the truth,” said Goosey. “I quit my ship and have never gone to any consul since. And I don’t intend to. When the consul put you on that ship, Lonesome, it would have been better you had gone. You made a big mistake.”
“A nigger is a bohn mistake,” declared Banjo, laughing. “When Gawd made the white man, he put a little stuff in his haid for him to correct his mistakes. And so when the white man invented writing and pencil, he put an eraser on that pencil to rub out mistakes. But Gawd nevah gived the nigger no brain-stuff foh’m to correct his mistakes, and so the nigger kaint invent anything to correct his mistake.
“For when Gawd was making the first nigger, a bluebird jest fly down into the Tree of Life and started singing that the wul’ was ready and waiting foh the love a Gawd. And the tune was so temptation that Gawd lost his haid and set down the golden bowl with the nigger’s brain in it. And the serpent was right there. And he ups and et the nigger’s brain and put a mess a froth in the golden bowl. And that stuff for the nigger’s brain gived the serpent the run of the earth. …
“And when Gawd done took up his work again, he took the froth in the bowl and dumped it into the nigger’s brain and finished his job. And that’s why you find the world as it is today. The debbil ruling hell and earth, the white man always getting by and there, and the nigger always full a froth or just dumb like this heah Lonesome Blue.”
All the boys had a rollicking laugh in which they were joined by Kid Irish, who had come in while Banjo was holding forth, accompanied by a fleshy young man, a Jew, who made a living as a guide and a seller of sex post cards to tourists. The Jew had arrived from Toulon, whence he had followed the American squadron, that had just put in at Marseilles.
“But, Lawd Gawd,” said Ginger, “imagine what we niggers woulda been today if Big Massa hadn’t a made a mistake. Why, if we am as we is from a mistake, what wouldn’t we be if we had been made right from the start? We woulda had Gawd and them angels in glory and all nuts.”
The boys roared out again and Goosey said: “That story you told was raw niggerism, Banjo, and you ought to be ashamed to tell that on the race before a white person.”
“Eh-eh-ehieeee!” Malty laughed. “Can’t the race stand a joke?”
Whereupon the Jew said he knew a better one than Banjo’s and volunteered to tell it if the boys didn’t mind.
“Sure. Speak up, kid,” said Banjo. “There ain’t no ladies here objecting, except Goosey. And ef he don’t like it he can take his box outa here.”
The Jew said: “I guess you all heared about Shuffle Along, the colored show that had such a long run on Broadway. I seen it about six times. Gee! there was some swell-looking colored goils in it. I used to see real money guys waiting just to get a glimpse of them coming out of the theater. Well, what I’m going to say is about two of the goils and I’m telling it straight as I heard it.
“One night two of the show girls was walking home together, and they saw a white man lying in the gutter. They didn’t know whether he was hurt or drunk, and they woulda liked to help him, but they were goils and colored (you all understand), so they couldn’t do anything for him.
“ ‘It’s really too bad to leave him be like that,’ says one of the goils, ‘but we’ve gotta, because some white person might see us helping him and think something bad of us. Let’s go on our way, dearie.’
“And as they walked off the other goil she says: ‘Too, too bad poor white man fallen so low. Seems to belong to some dickty family, too. Did you notice his clothes? And such a handsome profile.’
“ ‘Profile!’ says the other goil. ‘It wasn’t no profile you see, honey, but his flask a liquor in his pants.’ ”
The joke went over the heads of all the boys excepting Ray and Goosey. Ray smiled and remarked that most of the stock “Negro” jokes were of Jewish origin, but Goosey scowled and cursed under his breath.
“That makes me remember,” said Ray, “I read in a colored newspaper that one of those Shuffle Along girls was fired from the company for keeping a date with a white man.”
“Served the damn wench right,” said Goosey.
“Oh, I know a good one meself,” said Kid Irish.
“I think we’ve had enough of colored jokes,” said Goosey.
“Enough you’ grandmammy!” cried Banjo. “Quit you’ bellyaching blah and get along from here. A joke is a joke—”
“Yes, but white people don’t make jokes like that about themselves,” maintained Goosey. “Especially the one-hundred-percent Yankees. You fellows don’t know anything about the race movement. Ray knows better, yet he holds in with you. You don’t know why the white man put all his dirty jokes on to the race. It’s because the white man is dirty in his heart and got to have dirt. But he covers it up in his race to show himself superior and put it on to us. The Yankees used to make jokes out of the Germans. Then when the Germans got strong enough to stop that, they got it out of the Irish and Jews. When the Irish and Jews got too rich and powerful in politics, they turn to Italian and Negroes.”
“That ain’t right on the Irish, me man,” said Kid Irish. “There’s barrels o’ Irish jokes going around.”
“If the Yankee can’t
