Decidedly not, we reply. For how can we even keep company with Khalid, who has become such a maniac on flounces? And was this fantastic, phantasmagoric rhapsody all inspired by Najma’s simple remark on his hair? Fruitful is thy word, O woman!
But being so far away now from the Hermitage in the Bronx, what has the “cherry in the cocktail” and “the olive in the oyster patty” to do with all this? Howbeit, the following deserves a place as the tail-flounce of his Fantasy.
“Your superman and superwoman,” says he, with philosophic calm, “may go Adam-and-Eve like if they choose. But can they, even in that chaste and splendid nudity, dispense with ruffles and flounces? Pray, tell me, did not our first parents spoon and sentimentalise in the Paradise, before the Serpent appeared? And would they not often whisper unto each other, ‘Ah, Adam, ah, Eve!’ sighing likewise for sweeter things? And what about those fatal Apples, those two sour fruits of their Love?—I tell thee every newborn babe is the magnificent flesh-flounce of a shivering, trembling, nudity. And I Khalid, what am I but the visible ruffle of an invisible skirt? Verily, I am; and thou, too, my Brother. Yea, and this aquaterrestrial globe and these sidereal heavens are the divine flounces of the Vesture of Allah.”
VII
The Howdaj of Falsehood
“Humanity is so feeble in mind,” says Renan, “that the purest thing has need of the cooperation of some impure agent.” And this, we think, is the gist of Khalid’s rhapsody on flounces and ruffles. But how is he to reconcile the fact with the truth in his case? For a single sanctified ruffle—a line of type in the canon law—is likely to upset all his plans. Yes, a priest in alb and chasuble not only can dispense with the blessings of his Pope, but—and here is the rub—he can also withhold such blessings from Khalid. And now, do what he may, say what he might, he must either revise his creed, or behave, at least, like a Christian.
Everything is ready, you say? The sky-blue, many-ruffled wedding gown; the set-out for the wayfare; the camel and donkeys; the little stock of books; the coffee utensils; the lentils and sweet oil;—all ready? Very well; but you can not set forth tomorrow, nor three weeks from tomorrow. Indeed, before the priest can give you his blessings—and what at this juncture can you do without them?—the dispensations of the ban must be performed. In other words, your case must now be laid before the community. Every Sunday, for three such to come, the intended marriage of Khalid to Najma will be published in the Church, and whoso hath any objection to make can come forth and make it. Moreover, there is that little knot of consanguinity to be considered. And your priest is good enough to come and explain this to you. Understand him well. “An alm of a few gold pieces,” says he, “will remove the obstacle; the unlawfulness of your marriage resulting from consanguinity will cease on payment of five hundred piasters.”
All of which startles Khalid, stupefies him. He had not, heretofore, thought of such a matter. Indeed, he was totally ignorant of these forms, these prohibitions and exemptions of the Church. And the father of Najma, though assenting, remarks nevertheless that the alms demanded are much. “Why,” exclaims Khalid, “I can build a house for five hundred piasters.”
The priest sits down cross-legged on the divan, lights the cigarette which Najma had offered with the coffee, and tries to explain.
“And where have you this, O Reverend, about consanguinity, prohibition, and alms!” Khalid asks.
“Why, my child, in the Canons of our Church, Catholic and Apostolic. Everyone knows that a marriage between cousins can not be effected, without the sanction of the Bishop.”
“But can we not obtain this sanction without paying for it?”
“You are not paying for it, my child; you are only contributing some alms to the Church.”
“You come to us, therefore, as a beggar, not as a spiritual father and guide.”
“That is not good speaking. You misunderstand my purpose.”
“And pray, tell me, what is the purpose of prohibiting a marriage between cousins; what chief good is there in such a ban?”
“Much good for the community.”
“But I have nothing to do with the community. I’m going to live with my wife in the desert.”
“The good of your souls is chiefly concerned.”
“Ah, the good of our souls!”
“And there are other reasons which can not be freely spoken of here.”
“You mean the restriction and prohibition of sexual knowledge between relatives. That is very well. But let us return to what concerns us properly: the good of my soul, and the spiritual well-being of the community—what becomes of these, when I pay the prescribed alms and obtain the sanction of the Bishop?”
“No harm then can come to them—they’ll be secure.”
“Secure, you say? Are they not hazarded, sold by your Church for five hundred piasters? If my marriage to my cousin be wrong, unlawful, your Bishop in sanctioning same is guilty of perpetuating this wrong, this unlawfulness, is he not?”
“But what the Church binds only the Church can loosen.”
“And what is the use of binding, O Reverend Father, when a little sum of money can loosen anything you bind? It seems to me that these prohibitions of the Church are only made for the purpose of collecting alms. In other words, you bind for the sake of loosening, when a good bait
