The Beggar’s Opera

have bred so many brave men. I thought, boy, by this time, thou hadst lost fear as well as shame. Poor lad! how little does he know as yet of the Old Bailey! For the first fact I’ll insure thee from being hanged; and going to sea, Filch, will come time enough upon a sentence of transportation. But now, since you have nothing better to do, ev’n go to your book, and learn your catechism; for really a man makes but an ill figure in the ordinary’s paper, who cannot give a satisfactory answer to his questions. But, hark you, my lad. Don’t tell me a lie; for you know I hate a liar. Do you know of anything that hath passed between Captain Macheath and our Polly? Filch I beg you, madam, don’t ask me; for I must either tell a lie to you or to Miss Polly; for I promised her I would not tell. Mrs. Peachum But when the honour of our family is concerned⁠— Filch I shall lead a sad life with Miss Polly, if ever she comes to know that I told you. Besides, I would not willingly forfeit my own honour by betraying anybody. Mrs. Peachum Yonder comes my husband and Polly. Come, Filch, you shall go with me into my own room, and tell me the whole story. I’ll give thee a glass of a most delicious cordial that I keep for my own drinking.

Exeunt.

Enter Peachum, Polly.

Polly I know as well as any of the fine ladies how to make the most of myself and of my man too. A woman knows how to be mercenary, though she hath never been in a court or at an assembly. We have it in our natures, papa. If I allow Captain Macheath some trifling liberties, I have this watch and other visible marks of his favour to show for it. A girl who cannot grant some things, and refuse what is most material, will make but a poor hand of her beauty, and soon be thrown upon the common.

Air VI. What shall I do to show how much I love her, etc.

Virgins are like the fair flower in its lustre,
Which in the garden enamels the ground;
Near it the bees in play flutter and cluster,
And gaudy butterflies frolic around.
But, when once plucked, ’tis no longer alluring,
To Covent-Garden ’tis sent (as yet sweet),
There fades, and shrinks, and grows past all enduring,
Rots, stinks, and dies, and is trod under feet.

Peachum You know, Polly, I am not against your toying and trifling with a customer in the way of business, or to get out a secret, or so. But if I find out that you have played the fool and are married, you jade you, I’ll cut your throat, hussy. Now you know my mind. Enter Mrs. Peachum, in a very great passion.

Air VII. Oh London is a fine town.

Our Polly is a sad slut! nor heeds what we have taught her.
I wonder any man alive will ever rear a daughter!
For she must have both hoods and gowns, and hoops to swell her pride,
With scarfs and stays, and gloves and lace; and she will have men beside;
And when she’s dressed with care and cost, all tempting, fine and gay,
As men should serve a cucumber, she flings herself away.
Our Polly is a sad slut! etc.

You baggage! you hussy! you inconsiderate jade! had you been hanged, it would not have vexed me, for that might have been your misfortune; but to do such a mad thing by choice; the wench is married, husband.

Peachum Married! the Captain is a bold man, and will risk anything for money; to be sure he believes her a fortune. Do you think your mother and I should have lived comfortably so long together, if ever we had been married? Baggage! Mrs. Peachum I knew she was always a proud slut; and now the wench hath played the fool and married, because forsooth she would do like the gentry. Can you support the expense of a husband, hussy, in gaming, drinking and whoring? Have you money enough to carry on the daily quarrels of man and wife about who shall squander most? There are not many husbands and wives, who can bear the charges of plaguing one another in a handsome way. If you must be married, could you introduce nobody into our family but a highwayman? Why, thou foolish jade, thou wilt be as ill-used, and as much neglected, as if thou hadst married a lord! Peachum Let not your anger, my dear, break through the rules of decency, for the Captain looks upon himself in the military capacity, as a gentleman by his profession. Besides what he hath already, I know he is in a fair way of getting, or of dying; and both these ways, let me tell you, are most excellent chances for a wife. Tell me, hussy, are you ruined or no? Mrs. Peachum With Polly’s fortune, she might very well have gone off to a person of distinction. Yes, that you might, you pouting slut! Peachum What is the wench dumb? Speak, or I’ll make you plead by squeezing out an answer from you. Are you really bound wife to him, or are you only upon liking? Pinches her. Polly Oh! Screaming. Mrs. Peachum How the mother is to be pitied who hath handsome daughters! Locks, bolts, bars, and lectures of morality are nothing to them: They break through them all. They have as much pleasure in cheating a father and mother, as in cheating at cards. Peachum Why, Polly, I shall soon know if you are married, by Macheath’s keeping from our house.