Short Fiction

know? Don’t you remember? Oh, you didn’t understand, eh? And why not? Did they talk in whispers so that you couldn’t hear? Oho! They talked in Spanish, did they? Or in Italian! Anyway they talked in some lingo you didn’t understand. Now, then, Becky, when Mrs. Nevius was at home, you have heard Mr. Nevius talking to her, haven’t you? Well tell us then what language he talked to her in? In English did he? No Italian folderols to his wife, eh? Only to Miss Adulam, eh? Very good, Becky, very good indeed. Now, when Mrs. Nevius was at home where did she sit at table? At the head of it, eh? And where did Mr. Nevius sit? At the foot, did he? Well, when this carousing was going on, where did Miss Adulam sit? At the head of the table, too? Took the wife’s place, eh? And where did Mr. Nevius sit? Right beside her! Why, I thought you said he sat at the foot of the table! Oho! he only sat at the foot of the table when his wife was there! I see. But when Miss Adulam came he moved his seat, eh? Sat close to her, I suppose. Well, how close? Close enough, you say. And while they were sitting as close as they could get, they talked in a language you couldn’t understand, did they? Now, when you had finished clearing up in the dining-room where did you go? Downstairs, eh? And when did you come up again? Two or three hours later, eh? Now, what had Miss Adulam and Mr. Nevius been doing in the meantime? You don’t know, you say, but when, at the end of two or three hours, you came upstairs again, you found them in each other’s arms. Is that what I am to understand? Very good. Now when did this occur? On the 10th of November, eh? And was anything of the kind repeated? On the 11th, eh? And on the 12th, and on the 14th? Did you tell anyone of these goings on? Oh, you told Mrs. Nevius! What did she do? She accused her husband, did she? And what did he do? He confessed, eh? Confessed what? Confessed that he had been untrue, eh? Then what? Mr. Nevius went abroad did he? And what did Mrs. Nevius do? Packed up and left Mr. Nevius’ house, eh? Has she seen Mr. Nevius since? Hasn’t, eh? Very good, Becky; that will do for today.”

And with an air of satisfaction that would have been unpardonable in Napoleon at Marengo, Mr. Tooth caressed his chin with one hand and waved the other at O’Donnell.

“Brother O’D, if you have any questions⁠—”

“I have,” O’Donnell answered shortly. “Hawes, look this way. Where are you living now?”

“At Mr. Snaith’s.”

“In what capacity?”

“Er⁠—er⁠—” The woman turned helplessly about, and suddenly spat, “Seamstress.”

“Mr. Referee,” said O’Donnell, “I beg you to remind Mrs. Nevius that she is not permitted to prompt the witness. Hawes,” he continued, “look at me. How do you remember the dates you have given?”

The witness made no answer.

“Come, out with it.”

“I⁠—I⁠—I wrote them down each time Miss Adulam came.”

“With what object?”

“Mrs. Snaith told me to.”

“When did she tell you?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Then you have got to remember. Did Mrs. Snaith tell you to keep a memorandum before Miss Adulam began to come to the house or afterward?”

“Afterward, sir.”

“Do you swear to that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I thought you said you wrote the dates down each time Miss Adulam came.”

“So I did, sir.”

“Why did you?”

“Because Mrs. Snaith told me.”

“A moment ago you said that Mrs. Snaith did not tell you to do so until afterward. Now, look at me, which is it? Did she tell you before or after?”

“Before.”

“Do you swear to that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you know what the penalty for perjury is?”

“I object,” threw in Mr. Tooth airily.

O’Donnell turned to Metuchen: “Here’s a witness, your Honor, who swears to two contradictory statements, and as they are material to⁠—”

“They are not material,” retorted Mr. Tooth. “Mrs. Snaith has nothing to do with this suit. I have shown that Miss Adulam called on the defendant in the plaintiff’s absence. I have also shown what occurred. When Mrs. Snaith learned the facts is irrelevant⁠—”

“But not obscure,” answered O’Donnell; “Mr. stenographer, when does witness swear Mrs. Snaith instructed her to take notes. Before Miss Adulam called? Thank you.”

“Now, Hawes,” he continued. “Besides keeping a memorandum for Mrs. Snaith, to whom did you mention these incidents?”

“To Mrs. Nevius, sir.”

“When?”

“When she returned home, sir.”

“When was that?”

“A few days later.”

“That must have been about the 16th or 17th of November, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“When did Mr. Nevius go abroad?”

“Some time in December.”

“Were you present when Mrs. Nevius accused her husband of being untrue?”

“No, but⁠—”

“I want no buts. Answer yes or no. Did you hear him admit the accusation?”

“Well⁠—he⁠—”

“Answer my question. Did you or did not you?”

“No, sir, I didn’t, I⁠—”

“That’s enough. Of what was the parlor floor composed?”

“Of the dining-room, parlor and butler’s pantry.”

“On the first occasion when Miss Adulam called do you know of her being in any other part of the house than on the parlor floor?”

“No, sir.”

“Can you on any of the subsequent occasions swear that she was in any other part of the house?”

“No, sir.”

“Very good, Becky, that will do for this afternoon.”

Mr. O’Donnell turned to his client, and with the air of one commenting on the weather remarked audibly yet indifferently: “Chops and tomato sauce!”

XVI

Day in, day out, the testimony continued. The cook testified. The waitress recalled, testified anew. The cook testified again, and a third time the waitress took the stand. By common consent objections ceased. Questions inane, idiotic, indecent, passed unchallenged, unrebuked.

Nevius ceased to attend. The coarseness was disgusting enough, but apart from that the presence of one who continued to come perplexed and tormented him. To those who have agreed to be bound by form, no law ever codified is rigider, and but for its shackles, at the first hearing