The Birds

href="#note-112" id="noteref-112" epub:type="noteref">112 make us such gift as thy generous heart shall suggest.” Pisthetaerus He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some present. Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off and give it to this clever poet. Come, take this fur; you look to me to be shivering with cold. Poet My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses of Pindar’s on your mind. Pisthetaerus Oh! what a pest! ’Tis impossible then to be rid of him! Poet “Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen garment. He is sad at only wearing an animal’s pelt and no tunic.” Do you conceive my bent? Pisthetaerus I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you to Euelpides, take off yours; we must help the poet.⁠ ⁠… Come, you, take it and begone. Poet I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this city: “Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, freezing city; I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered plains. Tralala! Tralala!”113 Pisthetaerus What are you chanting us about frosts? Thanks to the tunic, you no longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city. Come, priest, take the lustral water and circle the altar. Priest Let all keep silence! A prophet Let not the goat be sacrificed.114 Pisthetaerus Who are you? Prophet Who am I? A prophet. Pisthetaerus Get you gone. Prophet Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia. Pisthetaerus Why did you not reveal it to me before I founded my city? Prophet The divine spirit was against it. Pisthetaerus Well, ’tis best to know the terms of the oracle. Prophet “But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together between Corinth and Sicyon⁠ ⁠…” Pisthetaerus But how do the Corinthians concern me? Prophet ’Tis the regions of the air that Bacis indicated in this manner. “They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give the prophet, who first reveals my words, a good cloak and new sandals.” Pisthetaerus Are the sandals there? Prophet Read. “And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share of the entrails of the victim.” Pisthetaerus Of the entrails⁠—is it so written? Prophet Read. “If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtledove, nor eagle, nor woodpecker.” Pisthetaerus Is all that there? Prophet Read. Pisthetaerus This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated to me: “If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim, apply a stout stick to his ribs.” Prophet You are drivelling. Pisthetaerus “And don’t spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, were it Lampon115 himself or the great Diopithes.”116 Prophet Is all that there? Pisthetaerus Here, read it yourself, and go and hang yourself. Prophet Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am. Pisthetaerus Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere. Meton117 I have come to you. Pisthetaerus Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What’s your plan? What’s the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins? Meton I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel them into lots. Pisthetaerus In the name of the gods, who are you? Meton Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.118 Pisthetaerus What are these things? Meton Tools for measuring the air. In truth, the spaces in the air have precisely the form of a furnace. With this bent ruler I draw a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle with the compass. Do you understand? Pisthetaerus Not the very least. Meton With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe a square within this circle; in its centre will be the marketplace, into which all the straight streets will lead, converging to this centre like a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays in a straight line from all sides. Pisthetaerus Meton, you new Thales⁠ ⁠…119 Meton What d’you want with me? Pisthetaerus I want to give you a proof of my friendship. Use your legs. Meton Why, what have I to fear? Pisthetaerus ’Tis the same here as in Sparta. Strangers are driven away, and blows rain down as thick as hail. Meton Is there sedition in your city? Pisthetaerus No, certainly not. Meton What’s wrong then? Pisthetaerus We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders. Meton Then I’m off. Pisthetaerus I fear ’tis too late. The thunder growls already. Beats him. Meton Oh, woe! oh, woe! Pisthetaerus I warned you. Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else. Meton takes to his heels. An inspector Where are the Proxeni?120 Pisthetaerus Who is this Sardanapalus?121 Inspector I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia as inspector.122 Pisthetaerus An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal? Inspector A decree of Teleas.123 Pisthetaerus Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and be off? Inspector I’ faith! that I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.124 Pisthetaerus Take it then, and be off. See, here is your salary. Beats him. Inspector What does this mean? Pisthetaerus ’Tis the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces. Inspector You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector. Pisthetaerus Are you not going to clear out with your urns? ’Tis not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods. A dealer in decrees “If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian⁠ ⁠…” Pisthetaerus Now whatever are these cursed parchments? Dealer in decrees I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the