If I Had a Father

brute! If she’d a satin frock on, i’stead o’ this here poor cotton gownd, you’d ha’ showed her t’other side o’ your manners! Get away with you. You’re too ugly to look at.⁠—Mattie! Mattie! Look up, child. Policeman She mustn’t lie there. Mattie Susan! Policeman Come, my girl. Susan You keep off, I tell you! Don’t touch her. She’s none o’ your sort. Come, Mattie, dear.⁠—Why don’t you make ’em move on? Policeman You’d better keep a civil tongue in your head, young woman. Susan You live lobster! Policeman I’ll have to lock you up, I see. One violent. T’other incapable. Susan You’re another. Mattie, my dear, come along home. Policeman That’s right; be off with you. Mattie rises. Mattie Let’s go. Sue! Let’s get farther off. Susan You can’t walk, child. If I hadn’t been so short o’ wittles for a week, I could ha’ carried you. But it’s only a step to the cook-shop. Mattie No money, Sue. Tries to walk. Susan O Lord! What shall I do! And that bluebottle there a buzzin’ an’ a starin’ at us like a dead codfish!⁠—Boh! Enter Bill. Bill Our Mattie! Gracious! what’s the row, Susan? Susan She ain’t well. Take her other arm, Bill, and help her out o’ this. We ain’t in no Christian country. Pluck up, Mattie, dear. Bill Come into the tart-shop. I’m a customer. They go towards the shop. Exit Policeman. Mattie No, no, Sukey! I can’t abide the smell of it. Let me sit on the kerb for a minute. Sits down. Oh, father! father! Bill Never you mind, Mattie! If he wor twenty fathers, he shan’t come near ye. Mattie Oh, Bill! if you could find him for me! He would take me home. Bill Now who’d ha’ thought o’ that? Axially wantin’ her own father! I’d run far enough out o’ the way o’ mine⁠—an’ farther if he wur a-axin’ arter me. Mattie Oh me! my side! Susan It’s hunger, poor dear! Sits down beside her. Bill Aside. This won’t do, Bill! I’m a shamed o’ you, Bill! Exit. Mattie No, Susan, it’s not hunger. It’s the old story, Sue. Susan Mattie! I never! You don’t mean to go for to tell me you’re a breakin’ of your precious heart about him? It’s not your gentleman surely! It’s not him ye’re turnin’ sick about, this time o’ day? Mattie nods her head listlessly. Susan What’s up fresh, then? You was pretty bobbish when you left me. It’s little he thinks of you, I’ll be bound. Mattie That’s true enough. It’s little he ever thought of me. He did say he loved me, though. It’s fifty times he did! Susan Lies, lies, Mattie⁠—all lies! Mattie No, Susan; it wasn’t lies. He meant it⁠—at the time. That’s what made it look all right. Oh dear! Oh dear! Susan But what’s come to you now, Mattie? What’s fresh in it? You’re not turned like this all at once for nothink! Mattie I’ve seen him! Susan Seen him! Oh, my! I wish it had been me. I’d ha’ seen him! I’d ha’ torn his ugly eyes out. Mattie They ain’t ugly eyes. They’re big and blue, and they sparkle so when he talks to her! Susan And who’s “her?” Ye didn’t mention a “her.” Some brazen-faced imperence! Mattie No. The young lady at Mrs. Clifford’s. Susan Oho! See if I do a stitch for her!⁠—Shan’t I leave a needle in her shimmy, just! Mattie What shall I do! All the good’s gone out of me! And such a pain here! Susan Keep in yer breath a minute, an’ push yer ribs out. It’s one on ’em’s got a top o’ the other. Mattie Such a grand creature! And her colour coming and going like the shadows on the corn! It’s no wonder he forgot poor me. But it’ll burn itself out afore long. Susan Don’t ye talk like that, Mattie; I can’t abear it. Mattie If I was dressed like her, though, and could get my colour back! But laws! I’m such a washed out piece o’ goods beside her! Susan That’s as I say, Matilda! It’s the dress makes the differ. Mattie No, Susan, it ain’t. It’s the free look of them⁠—and the head up⁠—and the white hands⁠—and the taper fingers. They’re stronger than us, and they’re that trained like, that all their body goes in one, like the music at a concert. I couldn’t pick up a needle without going down on my knees after it. It’s the pain in my side, Sue.⁠—Yes, it’s a fine thing to be born a lady. It’s not the clothes, Sue. If we was dressed ever so, we couldn’t come near them. It’s that look⁠—I don’t know what. Susan Speak for yerself, Mattie; I’m not a goin’ to think such small beer of myself, I can tell you! I believe if I’d been took in time⁠— Mattie It’s a big if that though, Sue.⁠—And then she looked so good! You’d hardly think it of me⁠—perhaps it’s because I’m dying⁠—but for one minute I could ha’ kissed her very shoes. Oh, my side! Susan Putting her arm tight round her waist. Does that help it Mattie, dear?⁠—a little teeny bit? Mattie Yes, Sukey. It holds it together a bit. Will he break her heart too, I wonder? Susan No fear o’ that! Ladies takes care o’ theirselves. They’re brought up to it. Mattie It’s only poor girls gentlemen don’t mind hurting, I suppose. Susan It’s the ladies’ fathers and brothers, Mattie! We’ve got nobody to look after us. Mattie They may break their hearts, though, for all that. Susan They won’t forgive them like you, then, Mattie! Mattie I dare say they’re much the same as we are when it comes to that, Sue. Susan Don’t say me, Mattie. I wouldn’t forgive him⁠—no, not if I was to die for it. But what came of it, child? Mattie I made some noise, I suppose, and the lady started. Susan And then you up and spoke? Mattie I turned sick, and fell down. Susan Poor dear! Mattie She got me a glass of wine, but I couldn’t swallow it, and got up and crawled out. Susan Did he see you? Mattie I think he did. Susan You’ll tell her, in course? Mattie No, Sue;