Within and Without

left
To buy a piece of bread. And bread was scarce;
Nobody gave him any. He had been
Always so idle, that he could not work.
But at last someone sent him to feed swine. Lily

Swine! Oh!

Julian

Yes, swine: ’twas all that he could do;
And he was glad to eat some of their food. She stares at him.
But at the last, hunger and waking love
Made him remember his old happy home.
“How many servants in my father’s house
Have plenty, and to spare!” he said. “I’ll go
And say, ‘I have done very wrong, my father;
I am not worthy to be called your son;
Put me among your servants, father, please.’ ”
Then he rose up and went; but thought the road
So much, much farther to walk back again,
When he was tired and hungry. But at last
He saw the blue top of the great big hill
That stood beside his father’s house; and then
He walked much faster. But a great way off,
His father saw him coming, lame and weary
With his long walk; and very different
From what he had been. All his clothes were hanging
In tatters, and his toes stuck through his shoes⁠—She bursts into tears.

Lily

Sobbing.

Like that poor beggar I saw yesterday?

Julian

Yes, my dear child.

Lily

And was he dirty too?

Julian

Yes, very dirty; he had been so long
Among the swine.

Lily

Is it all true though, father?

Julian

Yes, my darling; all true, and truer far
Than you can think.

Lily

What was his father like?

Julian

A tall, grand, stately man.

Lily

Like you, dear father?

Julian

Like me, only much grander.

Lily

I love you
The best though. Kissing him.

Julian

Well, all dirty as he was,
And thin, and pale, and torn, with staring eyes,
His father knew him, the first look, far off,
And ran so fast to meet him! put his arms
Around his neck and kissed him.

Lily

Oh, how dear!
I love him too;⁠—but not so well as you. Sound of a carriage drawing up.

Julian

There is your mother.

Lily

I am glad, so glad!

Enter Lilia, looking pale. Lilia

You naughty child, why are you not in bed?

Lily

Pouting.

I am not naughty. I am afraid to go,
Because you don’t go with me into sleep;
And when I see things, and you are not there,
Nor father, I am so frightened, I cry out,
And stretch my hands, and so I come awake.
Come with me into sleep, dear mother; come.

Lilia

What a strange child it is! There! Kissing her. go to bed. Lays her down.

Julian

Gazing on the child.

As thou art in thy dreams without thy mother,
So are we lost in life without our God.

Scene IV

Lilia in bed. The room lighted from a gas-lamp in the street; the bright shadow of the window on the wall and ceiling.

Lilia

Oh, it is dreary, dreary! All the time My thoughts would wander to my dreary home. Through every dance, my soul walked evermore In a most dreary dance through this same room. I saw these walls, this carpet; and I heard, As now, his measured step in the next chamber, Go pacing up and down, and I shut out! He is too good for me, I weak for him. Yet if he put his arms around me once, And held me fast as then, kissed me as then, My soul, I think, would come again to me, And pass from me in trembling love to him. But he repels me now. He loves me, true⁠— Because I am his wife: he ought to love me! Me, the cold statue, thus he drapes with duty. Sometimes he waits upon me like a maid, Silent with watchful eyes. Oh, would to Heaven, He used me like a slave bought in the market! Yes, used me roughly! So, I were his own; And words of tenderness would falter in, Relenting from the sternness of command. But I am not enough for him: he needs Some high-entranced maiden, ever pure, And thronged with burning thoughts of God and him. So, as he loves me not, his deeds for me Lie on me like a sepulchre of stones. Italian lovers love not so; but he Has German blood in those great veins of his. He never brings me now a little flower. He sings low wandering sweet songs to the child; But never sings to me what the voice-bird Sings to the silent, sitting on the nest. I would I were his child, and not his wife! How I should love him then! Yet I have thoughts Fit to be women to his mighty men; And he would love them, if he saw them once. Ah! there they come, the visions of my land! The long sweep of a bay, white sands, and cliffs Purple above the blue waves at their feet! Down the full river comes a light-blue sail; And down the near hill-side come country girls, Brown, rosy, laden light with glowing fruits; Down to the sands come ladies, young, and clad For holiday; in whose hearts wonderment At manhood is the upmost, deepest thought; And to their side come stately, youthful forms, Italy’s youth, with burning eyes and hearts:⁠— Triumphant Love is lord of the bright day. Yet one heart, under that blue sail, would look With pity on their poor contentedness; For he sits at the helm, I at his feet. He sung a song, and I replied to him. His song was of the wind that blew us down From sheltered hills to the unsheltered sea. Ah, little thought my heart that the wide sea, Where I should cry for comforting in vain, Was the expanse of his wide awful soul, To which that wind was helpless drifting me! I would he were less great, and loved me more. I sung to him a song, broken with sighs, For even then I feared the time to come: “O will thine eyes shine always, love, as now? And will thy lips for aye be sweetly curved?” Said my song, flowing unrhymed from my heart. “And will thy forehead ever, sunlike bend, And suck my soul in vapours up to thee? Ah love! I need love, beauty, and sweet odours. Thou livest on the hoary mountains; I In the warm valley, with the lily pale, Shadowed with mountains and its own great leaves; Where odours are the sole invisible clouds, Making