Within and Without

when the courier-thoughts have circled round:
“Alas! I know it all; its charm is gone!”
But I must hasten; else the sun will set
Before I reach the smoother valley-road.
I wonder if my old nurse lives; or has
Eyes left to know me with. Surely, I think,
Four years of wandering since I left my home,
In sunshine and in snow, in ship and cell,
Must have worn changes in this face of mine
Sufficient to conceal me, if I will.

Scene VIII

A dungeon in the monastery. A ray of the moon on the floor. Robert.

Robert

One comfort is, he’s far away by this. Perhaps this comfort is my deepest sin. Where shall I find a daysman in this strife Between my heart and holy Church’s words? Is not the law of kindness from God’s finger, Yea, from his heart, on mine? But then we must Deny ourselves; and impulses must yield, Be subject to the written law of words; Impulses made, made strong, that we might have Within the temple’s court live things to bring And slay upon his altar; that we may, By this hard penance of the heart and soul, Become the slaves of Christ.⁠—I have done wrong; I ought not to have let poor Julian go. And yet that light upon the floor says, yes⁠— Christ would have let him go. It seemed a good, Yes, self-denying deed, to risk my life That he might be in peace. Still up and down The balance goes, a good in either scale; Two angels giving each to each the lie, And none to part them or decide the question. But still the words come down the heaviest Upon my conscience as that scale descends; But that may be because they hurt me more, Being rough strangers in the feelings’ home. Would God forbid us to do what is right, Even for his sake? But then Julian’s life Belonged to God, to do with as he pleases! I am bewildered. ’Tis as God and God Commanded different things in different tones. Ah! then, the tones are different: which is likest God’s voice? The one is gentle, loving, kind, Like Mary singing to her mangered child; The other like a self-restrained tempest; Like⁠—ah, alas!⁠—the trumpet on Mount Sinai, Louder and louder, and the voice of words. O for some light! Would they would kill me! then I would go up, close up, to God’s own throne, And ask, and beg, and pray to know the truth; And he would slay this ghastly contradiction. I should not fear, for he would comfort me, Because I am perplexed, and long to know. But this perplexity may be my sin, And come of pride that will not yield to him! O for one word from God! his own, and fresh From him to me! Alas, what shall I do!

Part II

Hark, hark, a voice amid the quiet intense!
It is thy Duty waiting thee without.
Rise from thy knees in hope, the half of doubt;
A hand doth pull thee⁠—it is Providence;
Open thy door straightway, and get thee hence;
Go forth into the tumult and the shout;
Work, love, with workers, lovers, all about:
Of noise alone is born the inward sense
Of silence; and from action springs alone
The inward knowledge of true love and faith.
Then, weary, go thou back with failing breath,
And in thy chamber make thy prayer and moan:
One day upon His bosom, all thine own,
Thou shall lie still, embraced in holy death.

Scene I

A room in Julian’s castle. Julian and the old Nurse.

Julian	Nembroni? Count Nembroni?⁠—I remember: A man about my height, but stronger built? I have seen him at her father’s. There was something I did not like about him:⁠—ah! I know: He had a way of darting looks at you, As if he wished to know you, but by stealth.
Nurse	The same, my lord. He is the creditor. The common story is, he sought the daughter, But sought in vain: the lady would not wed. ’Twas rumoured soon they were in grievous trouble, Which caused much wonder, for the family Was always reckoned wealthy. Count Nembroni Contrived to be the only creditor, And so imprisoned him.
Julian	Where is the lady?
Nurse	Down in the town.
Julian	But where?
Nurse	If you turn left, When you go through the gate, ’tis the last house Upon this side the way. An honest couple, Who once were almost pensioners of hers, Have given her shelter: still she hopes a home With distant friends. Alas, poor lady! ’tis A wretched change for her.
Julian	Hm! ah! I see. What kind of man is this Nembroni, nurse?
Nurse	Here he is little known. His title comes From an estate, they say, beyond the hills. He looks ungracious: I have seen the children Run to the doors when he came up the street.
Julian	Thank you, nurse; you may go. Stay⁠—one thing more: Have any of my people seen me?
Nurse	None But me, my lord.
Julian	And can you keep it secret?⁠— know you will for my sake. I will trust you. Bring me some supper; I am tired and faint. Nurse goes. Poor and alone! Such a man has not laid His plans for nothing further! I will watch him. Heaven may have brought me hither for her sake. Poor child! I would protect thee as thy father, Who cannot help thee. Thou wast not to blame; My love had no claim on like love from thee.⁠—How the old tide comes rushing to my heart! I know not what I can do yet but watch. I have no hold on him. I cannot go, Say, “I suspect”; and, “Is it so or not?” I should but injure them by doing so. True, I might pay her father’s debts; and will, If Joseph, my old friend, has managed well During my absence. I have not spent much. But still she’d be in danger from this man, If not permitted to betray himself; And I, discovered, could no more protect. Or if, unseen by her, I yet could haunt Her footsteps like an angel, not for long Should I remain unseen of other eyes, That peer from under cowls⁠—not angel-eyes⁠— Hunting me out, over the stormy earth. No; I must watch. I can do nothing better.

Scene II

A poor cottage. An old Man and Woman sitting together.

Man	How’s the poor lady now?
Woman	She’s poorly still. I fancy every day she’s