facade was a man who feared he would be left behind, just as Jamie feared.
Shit! Jamie snarled to himself. It would be so much easier to hate him.
4
After lunch and the base commander’s brief orientation lecture, Jamie spent the rest of the day saying hello to each of the newcomers, telling them that he was there to give them any help or advice they required. He felt awkward, more like an unwanted and unneeded accessory than a valued and trusted associate.
His insides were in turmoil over Hoffman. Walk a mile in the other guy’s moccasins, he thought. Sure. Great. No wonder the Indians got swamped by the whites.
By the time he had spoken to the first three of the newcomers, Jamie had worked out a little speech that explained quickly, with a minimum of embarrassment, why he had remained at the base and what he was offering to do. 'The newcomers’ reactions varied from Hoffman’s fear of inadequacy to Tony Reed’s cynical smile of understanding.
'Does little Joanna know that you’re to be her personal chaperon?' Reed asked.
'I don’t think anybody’s spelled it out to her,' Jamie replied.
Reed’s lopsided grin turned almost into a sneer. 'She’d be a fool if she didn’t figure it out for herself.'
'Maybe,' said Jamie.
He had left Joanna for last, and now, feeling as frustrated and exhausted as he had the winter he had tried to sell magazine subscriptions bicycling through his Berkeley neighborhood, he tapped at the door to Joanna’s room.
She opened the door, looked up at him, and smiled.
'Come in,' said Joanna Brumado in her little girl’s voice. 'Sit down.'
She still wore the sweater and jeans she had arrived in. Her room was neatly arranged, emptied suitcases stacked in the far corner, garment bag hanging behind the door. Her laptop computer was open on the desktop but its screen was dark and silent. There were no pictures on the walls, no personal items in sight.
Jamie took the chair that stood by the bunk.
'I’ve told all the others,' Jamie began, 'that Dr. Li asked me to stay here at McMurdo to help you and the rest of your group get through your six weeks here as easily and profitably as possible.'
Joanna went to the desk and sat at the chair behind it, turning the desk into a protective barrier.
Her face entirely serious, she said, 'We can be honest with one another, James.'
'Jamie.'
Her lips did not curve up into a smile. Her luminous dark eyes were somber. 'You are here to make certain that I get through this part of the training. You have stayed behind because I am Alberto Brumado’s daughter and for no other reason.'
Well, she’s no fool, Jamie said to himself. She’s under no illusions. No pretensions.
'Dr. Li asked me to remain here,' he said.
'Because of me.'
'It was his first big decision as expedition commander.'
Her eyes would not leave his. 'And what about your training? Your own group is going ahead with its regular schedule, is it not?'
'They’re going to Utah, yes.'
'And you?'
Jamie made himself shrug. 'I’ve spent most of my summers in New Mexico. Maybe Dr. Li figures I don’t need any more time in the desert.'
Joanna shook her head. 'He asked you to stay here? He himself? Personally?'
'Yes.'
'And you agreed to do it?'
'What choice did I have? Tell Li that I refuse to carry out his first major decision? How would that look on my record?'
She bit her lower lip. 'Yes, he did not give you any real choice at all, did he?'
'Well, I’m here and you’re here, so we should try to make the best of it.'
'But you will be throwing away your chance for a position on the mission just for me.'
'I guess that’s already been decided,' Jamie said, surprised at the obvious bitterness in his voice.
'I could call my father,' said Joanna, tentatively, her eyes sliding away from his. 'I could tell him what Dr. Li has done to you.'
Jamie tried to probe beneath her words, understand what was churning inside her. She was not angry, yet something was radiating from this elfin woman as she sat behind the desk. Was it fear? Bitterness? A sense of injustice?
'Are you afraid that the others will think you’re getting special treatment?' he asked.
'I am getting special treatment!'
'And you don’t like it?'
'It could cost you your chance to make the mission.'
'But it’s important to your father that you go to Mars.'
Her eyes went even wider.
'Is that important to you?' Jamie asked.
'Important? That I go to Mars?'
'Right.'
'Of course it is important! Do you think I am here merely to satisfy my father’s vicarious desires?'
A part of Jamie’s mind was registering the fact that Joanna was beautiful. Her figure was certainly adult enough; not even the bulky sweater could hide that. It was her face that gave her the lost, defenseless look of a street urchin, vulnerable yet knowing. And that tiny, whispering voice. Her deep brown eyes were large and almost as dark as Jamie’s own.
Jamie looked into those luminous eyes and saw emotions battling against one another. What is she afraid of? he wondered. She says she doesn’t want to be her father’s pawn, yet she certainly doesn’t want to be left behind. That’s unmistakable. She wants to go to Mars. Badly.
'I’ll help you,' he said. 'That’s my job assignment now.'
'I will call my father and tell him what Dr. Li has done to you. It is not fair that…'
Jamie silenced her with an upraised hand. 'You don’t want to be causing trouble between Li and your father. That would be bad for everybody — and especially bad for you.'
'But you. What about you?'
He made himself smile. 'The Navahos believe that a man’s got to keep in balance with the world around him. Sometimes that means you must accept things that you don’t particularly like.'
'That is stoicism.'
'Yep, I suppose it is,' said Jamie, trying hard to mask his real feelings.
5
I do wish Father DiNardo were here, Antony Reed said to himself for the twentieth time that morning. He’s the only one who can keep that Austrian prig in his place.
Reed was at his desk in the small room that served as the base dispensary. The snow had been shoveled away from the room’s only window; pale sunlight drifted in and a milky pearl-gray sky showed through its triple panes. In place of the bookshelves and equipment racks that crammed most of the offices in the half-buried base, the dispensary contained an examination table and medical equipment.
Reed shared the office with the 'in-house' physician, a surgeon who looked after the routine medical needs
