Men might argue, such occasions always are. Women would say that arguments over nothing are in fact over everything.
So we lay there, Helena still rigid and resisting. She was right to some extent. Even then as I nursed her through her misery, I was thinking about another woman-so in one sense I did betray her. How could I not remember, though? Chloris and I had dallied in lust and it had ended badly, all before I ever dreamed of meeting anyone like Helena. Had I not then happened to come to Britain, when Helena Justina happened to be over here, she and I never would have met.
I was a man. When I encountered an old girlfriend, I became romantically nostalgic (do women not do this?). But it was Helena I was holding in my arms tonight and I had no wish to change that.
At last I stopped reminiscing. Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought about a woman fondly for a little longer. That time if anyone was betrayed, it was not Helena.
XXVII
In the morning the fight still lay like heavy wet flock all around us. Helena rose by herself, made a brisk toilet, and ate breakfast in our room. That was to avoid prying questions at the communal buffet. She offered me nothing, but left enough on the tray if I wanted it. Sulking, I chose to go down to the dining room.
Maia had obviously heard about Chloris. She was in good form. 'I always thought she was an evil little cow. And now she's in the arena- that's a disgrace. You'd let a woman like that threaten all you have nowadays? So how would you feel, Marcus, if Helena Justina divorced you?'
'Dumb question!' The tray upstairs in private became increasingly alluring; too late. I plucked a roll from a basket and sank my teeth into it.
We were hardly heading for divorce. Mind you, all Helena and I had done in order to call ourselves married was to choose to live together; to end it, she only had to leave me. Roman law is extremely reasonable on these issues. Unreasonably so, many a client of mine would say.
My sister smirked self-righteously. 'I thought we were shot of that schemer years ago. Don't tell Mother that you saw her.'
'Get this straight. Chloris is past history, Maia. I'll leave you to break the news to Ma about your slimy new beau, the music lover!'
'He has invited me to his villa, downriver.'
'What a terrible chatting-up line.'
'I may go.'
'You may regret it then.'
Helena entered the dining room, smart and ready for action. No glance passed between her and Maia; some women plunge into heart-searching with their girlfriends when they are distressed, but Helena shunned feminine conspiracy. That was why I liked her. She brought her problems to me: even when I was the problem. 'I have been thinking, Marcus. You ought to talk to Albia about how Verovolcus died. She was always hanging around bars; she may have seen something.'
'Good idea.'
'I shall come too.'
I knew when to accept matrimonial help. 'That will be nice.'
'Don't fool yourself,' she said, ever honest. 'I am watching what you are up to.'
I quirked up an eyebrow playfully. 'All day?'
'All day,' she confirmed soberly.
I smiled and turned back to Maia. 'By the way, I saw Petro yesterday.'
'Lucky you.'
I could tell that Helena thought I had just made it more likely my sister would be wafting down the River Thamesis for pastries and heavy seduction attempts at the Norbanus villa.
I now noticed that Maia's son Marius had been sitting under a side table feeding his dog. The look he gave me was inscrutable.
Where was my own dog?
'I gave Nux to Albia to comfort her last night,' Helena said. 'You read my thoughts, Helena. Better face it. We think the same way; we're a pair.'
'Oh, I know that!' she roared. It caused consternation among the slaves mopping a corridor. I managed a good kick at their water bucket as we walked past. 'Marcus-try deciding what you want in life, so we can all get on with it.'
I stopped dead and spun her around to face me. The wet tiled floor made her skid slightly and I had to grab her hard. 'I was captured. Nothing happened. Don't waste effort wondering what I might have done. Here I am.'
Helena scowled. 'That's easy to say when you are safe here. What happens when you vanish into the stews and slums?'
'You have to take that on trust.'
'Trusting you is rather tiring, Marcus.'
She did look worn. She had two young children, one still being breast-fed. Our attempt at taking on a nursemaid had been more trouble than not having one. There had been some respite for her here at her aunt's house, where there was practical help, but all the time she knew- indeed, I knew too-that we would be going home to Rome soon. Our endlessly demanding children would once again be all ours, and when I went out working she cared for them alone. If anything ever happened to me, Julia and Favonia would be her sole responsibility. Our mothers supported her-while causing more stress by bickering with each other. Ultimately, Helena spent a lot of time by herself, wondering where I was and what danger I was in.
Helena was worldly. She knew any man could stray. As soon as she saw Chloris she must have thought my day had come.
I did admit, it must have looked as if I thought that too. I could hardly blame Helena. How was I to foresee that M. Didius Falco, infamous lad about the metropolis, would end up being such a good boy?
Albia was skulking nervously. Do not imagine that rescue from brutal prostitution had made the girl grateful. In the part of my life I never talked about, I had been an army scout. During close contact with the enemy, as the tribes were then, I had had a few dealings with the boot-faced element of British society. The don't-know, not- heard-of-that, never-saw-anything mob were as active here as in the criminal slums below the Esquiline in Rome, and being a conquered people gave Britons special rights in unhelpfulness. Routinely, they made life awkward for anyone Roman, often in very subtle ways. Albia had absorbed all that.
'Albia, you and I need to talk.' As I tackled the girl, Helena was shooing away children. They had clustered defensively around their returned friend; I hoped these innocents had no idea of her adventure with the prostitution ring. Nux, convinced as ever that she was the joy of my heart, left Albia's side and climbed all over me. I had made the mistake of sitting down. I was trying to look nonthreatening. When the dog saw I was accessible, she jumped straight up on me. A hot tongue busily licked anatomical crannies that might need a wash. Albia said nothing.
'Now don't look so afraid.' Waste of breath. The girl crouched on a stool, expressionless. 'Stop it, Nux… down, stupid doggie! Albia, the other night-' It felt about two weeks ago, though it was only four days. 'A man was killed. It happened at the Shower of Gold. He was pushed down the well, upside down. He drowned.'
Albia still only gave me the wounded, empty stare of the destitute. Her face seemed whiter than ever, her spirit even more crushed.
'You are safe here,' Helena told her. Nux abandoned me and rushed over to Helena, clambering up on her lap. Helena subdued the dog with the competence she used to control our children. 'Albia, tell Didius Falco if you saw anything that night.'
'No.' Was that saw nothing, or wouldn't tell?
Nux looked from one to another of us, intrigued.
'Were you in the Shower of Gold, or anywhere near it, that night?' I repeated.
