My cup was halfway to my mouth. I had to set it down. I lowered my eyes so they couldn't see the sudden tears that filled them. Jeff had gone to them to get advice on how to get rid of me!
'An annulment is the best answer,' his father went on, his voice gaining purpose. 'That way, you both can pick up the pieces of your lives. Jeff can enter the university next month as he'd planned Of course, we'll help you until you decide what you want to do. And we'll see to the legal part,
The tears spilled over my lids. His mother reached out and touched my hand. 'Don't cry, dear. You and Jeff aren't the first teenagers to make this kind of mistake.'
'Would you mind leaving now?' I said, my voice strained. 'You're a beautiful young woman, and you-'
'Don't, please!' I broke in. I couldn't take another minute of torture.
The minute the door closed behind them, I flung myself on the couch and cried wildly. I was furious at Jeff. How sneaky of him to go to his parents like that, to have them tell me our marriage was over. Those hypocrites! They were the people who had refused to help because we were supposed to be responsible now for ourselves. They wouldn't help us make a go of our marriage, but they were willing to do everything they could to break it up. I got up and started throwing Jeff's clothes into suitcases.
When Jeff got home, his bags were standing by the door waiting far him. He looked surprised but relieved. He came over to the couch where I was sitting. 'Mom and Dad told me you understand,' he said awkwardly. 'I probably should have told you myself. I just didn't know how.' He pulled a check out of his pocket and set it on the coffee table. 'Dad said to tell you if you need more to call him.'
'That was nice of him,' I said, my voice icy with sarcasm. 'Now suppose you get the hell out of here!' I hardly ever swore, but now cursing seemed the only appropriate way to express the fury I felt.
'At least let's part friends,' he pleaded.
'I don't feel like your friend, you rotten son of a bitch,' I retorted. 'Just get your ass out of here, you dirty bastard!'
'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I hope you believe that.' 'Yeah, I believe it, you two-faced bastard!' I cried. 'You're sorry all right. Sorry you ever got involved with me. Sorry a little easy pussy turned your head and got you away from your precious own two feet.'
His face was a mask of shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, that I was actually saying these hateful, vile things to him. 'Please, please stop,' he begged. 'This isn't like you. What's gotten into you?'
'Well,' I laughed bitterly, 'namely, you, whenever you wanted! All you wanted was somebody to fuck whenever you felt like it. Now that there are some strings attached, you're backing out like the lousy pimp you really are. How could I have been so stupid to get involved with such a pitiful creature.'
Suddenly his jaw got hard, and his contriteness was gone as he spit out, 'Listen, the first time we went all the way I could tell you'd been around. You weren't exactly a wide-eyed innocent. You knew what you were getting into. You wanted it just as much as I did, probably more. The only attraction we ever had for each other was nothing but sex, pure and simple. And the more I know you, the more I see that there's nothing to you except that. I see you now for what you really are. You're nothing but a cunt! You hear me, you goddamned cunt!'
A few minutes ago that would have made me burst into tears. Now, in my present frame of mind, it made me want to kill him. 'You rotten motherfucker!' I screamed as I picked up a heavy glass ashtray from the coffee table and threw it at his head.
Jeff moved his head just in time as the ashtray went whistling by his ear and crashed against the wall. I could see the fire in his eyes as he advanced toward me with his fists clenched.
Jeff's first punch caught me flush against the temple and knocked me sprawling onto the couch, raining blows, both slaps and punches all over my head and shoulders. I felt a sharp pain as he hit me with his fists on my tits. 'I'll show you what I think of you, cunt!' he screamed. 'I'll leave you something to remember me by!'
He slugged me across the jaw with his clenched fist, sending me into semiconsciousness. I was still alert enough, though, to be aware that he was now ripping off my clothes. As I cowered naked before him, he dropped his pants and through the haze I could see his erect cock leering savagely at me.
'No, no,' I begged, 'please don't hurt me any more!' I tasted my own blood as I screamed.
He moved toward me and grabbed each of my legs and tore them apart so that my trembling cunt gaped at him. He pulled me toward him so that my back was now on the couch and my legs straight up in the air as he held them aloft. 'Now I'm going to show you, cunt!' he kept repeating.
All of a sudden my consciousness came back in a furious lurch as he took his fiery prick and savagely shoved it up to the hilt into my asshole. I felt like I was going to come apart in a million pieces as he fucked himself into me. I felt like I was going to turn inside out as his cock pounded away in the hole that was much too tight for his big cock.
'Oh, God, please don't!' I cried as I could feel myself tearing where the tight skin began to give from the furious onslaught of jackhammering cock. Then, as if a stick of dynamite had gone off, he came like a cannon and I could feel blood and jism beginning to trickle out of my asshole as he withdrew his cock. I could see that it was smeared with my blood. It was too much for me and I mercifully passed out with Jeff hovering over me. My last memory of him will always be of that nothing but a blur.
When I woke up I was alone and naked in a heap on the floor, and the bleeding had stopped. Somehow, I picked myself up and went into the bathroom and took a hot bath. At that moment I made up my mind that I had to go on. There would be no crying over Jeff. I had to go on! I would show them all.
I never did cry over Jeff. Maybe I secretly wanted to, inside, but I wouldn't let myself do it. I felt it would be a sign of weakness which I couldn't afford. It had been weakness, I felt, that had led me to give in to Jeff when I should have seen all along that he really didn't care for me except as a convenient sex object, and had never actually wanted me as a wife.
Two days after Jeff left me, I lied about my age and got a job in a warehouse making out bills of lading, something I had learned how to do taking some business courses in high school. I was the only girl among a half- dozen men. They helped to restore my shattered ego by competing with each other to do something for me. The only trouble was that they were all married and all too old for me.
I told myself it didn't matter, for the job was only a stopgap until I found something I really liked. The main thing on my mind was making my own way, proving that I was more than just an oversexed kid. I had the check Jeff had given me from his father. It was for five hundred dollars, but I was determined to use as little of it as possible to get started, and send the remainder of it back. mailed it to Jeff's parents. Throwing it back in their faces like that made me feel the best I had in weeks.
Margot took my separation the way she'd taken my marriage, with indifference. But she called me a fool for returning any of the five hundred dollars. And she was clearly relieved that I had no thought of returning to live with her.
Two weeks after I started work I turned sixteen, but I was so absorbed in trying to forge my way in the adult world that I didn't even pause to notice it. A week after that, I met Red. He drove a big truck and trailer, and his route covered all of the western states. He had come to the warehouse to pick up the bill of lading. I bumped into him near the water cooler. Red was a rugged man with flaming hair that gave him his nickname, a leathery face, and penetrating green eyes that made shivers go up and down my spine. He looked at me with undisguised interest.
'How long have you been here, doll?' he asked.
'About three weeks,' I murmured.
'Then I've wasted three weeks,' he stated. 'If I'd have known you were here, I'd have dumped my last load in the desert and bee-lined it back here for another.'
I laughed, feeling giddy.
'If you've got a date tonight, break it.' He leaned over until his face was no more than six inches from mine. 'We'll do the town-dinner, dancing. You name it.'
'What about your load?' I asked, lowering my eyes.
'I don't go out until morning. Now, where do we go?'
I was aware of the men in the office watching us, envy in their expressions. I knew all of them interest made me feel feminine and wanted once again.
'I haven't said I'd go anywhere,' I laughed.
'You will, baby,' he said softly. 'You will.'
'You're loaded with self-confidence, aren't you?' I teased. I'd already made up my mind I'd go out with him.
