JANE
Thank you.
Jane’s living room gives away what she’s been doing: nothing. Well, watching TV, surfing the Web. Dead flower arrangements, dead fruit baskets, deflated “Get Well!” balloons and cards. BOXES of shit from shopping channels.
MAURA
You’re making everybody late.
JANE
Even
MAURA
Hmmm … laceration to your peritoneum and small bowel could explain your jaundiced color -
JANE
Hey — you may not casually discuss my privates, okay?
MAURA
“Casual” is occurring by chance, showing little interest or concern -
Maura is so distressed by the mess, she starts cleaning.
MAURA (CONT’D)
Three months … Jane, you could have read all of Shakespeare! Learned Finnish. (looks at an opened box) You’re a platinum member of the shopping channel.
JANE
I swear I’ll kick you out if you don’t stop cleaning.
MAURA
Is that why you banned your mother?
JANE
She told you that? She also tell you all her OCD banging and clanking isn’t restful? Wait, Finnish? Finland Finnish?
MAURA
The stress hormone, cortisol, suppresses your immune cells’ ability to activate telomerase.
JANE
So you say. Mine are fine.
MAURA
Quite simply, keeping your brain busy aids recovery. Mind-body -
JANE
Mind-business.
As Maura tries to lead Jane toward the bedroom -
MAURA
You are my business. C’mon.
JANE (clutching her side)
Ow! Stop! I’m not going.
MAURA
Still having pain?
JANE
No. I just like saying “ow.”
MAURA
Could be from an intermittent obstruction due to adhesions. When was your last bowel movement?
JANE
You just cannot control yourself, can you?
MAURA
I think you’re avoiding –
Maura stops short: there’s a DUMMY hanging from the ceiling.
MAURA (CONT’D)—
What is that?
JANE
Get Well gift from Korsak and Frost.
MAURA
That’s “restful?” Where’s your uniform?
