Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret

Mr. Loomis would drive us home.

My mother washed my hair at two o'clock. She gave me a cream rinse too, so I wouldn't get tangles. She set it in big rollers all over my head. I sat under her hair dryer. Then she filed my nails with an emery board instead of just cutting them like usual. My velvet dress was already laid out on my bed along with my new underwear, party shoes and tights. My new underwear was not the ordinary cotton kind. It was nylon, trimmed with lace around the edges. It was supposed to be one of my December tradition gifts. All afternoon I kept thinking that maybe Norman Fishbein wasn't such a drip.

After my bath I was supposed to go to my room and rest so I'd be in good shape for the party. I went to my room and closed the door-only I didn't feel like resting. What I did was move my desk chair in front of my dresser mirror. Then I stood on the chair and took off my robe. I stood naked in front of the mirror. I was starting to get some hairs. I turned around and studied myself sideways. Then I got off the chair and moved it closer to the mirror. I stood back up on it and looked again. My head looked funny with all those rollers. The rest of me looked the same.

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret I hate to remind you God… I mean, I know you're busy. But it's already December and I'm not growing. At least I don't see any real difference. Isn't it time God? Don't you think I've waited patiently? Please help me.

I hopped off the chair and sat down on the edge of my bed, putting on my clean underwear and tights. Then I stood in front of the mirror again. I didn't look at myself for very long this time.

I went into the bathroom and opened the bottom cabinet. There was a whole box of cotton balls. Sterile until opened, the package said. I reached in and grabbed a few. My heart was pounding, which seemed stupid because what was I so afraid of anyway? I mean, if my mother saw me grab some cotton balls she wouldn't say anything. I use them all the time-to put calamine on my summer mosquito bites-to clean off cuts and bruises-to put on my face lotion at night. But my heart kept pounding anyway, because I knew what I was going to do with the cotton balls.

I tiptoed back to my room and closed the door. I stepped into my closet and stood in one corner. I shoved three cotton balls into each side of my bra. Well, so what if it was cheating! Probably other girls did it too. I'd look a lot better, wouldn't I? So why not!

I came out of the closet and got back up on my chair. This time when I turned sideways I looked like I'd grown. I liked it!

Are you still there God? See how nice my bra looks now! That's all I need-just a little help. I'll really be good around the house God. I'll clear the table every night for a month at least! Please God…

14

Later, my mother brushed my hair. It came out just right, except for one piece on the left that turned the wrong way. My mother said that piece made it look very natural.

My mother and father smiled at me a lot while I was waiting for Nancy 's father to pick me up. I smiled back. It was like we all knew some special secret. Only I knew they didn't know my special secret! At least they didn't say anything dumb like doesn't she look sweet-going to her first supper party! I'd have died!

Mr. Wheeler tooted his horn at quarter to five. My mother kissed me good-by and my father waved from his chair. 'Have fun,' he called.

The Four PTS's squeezed into the back seat of the Wheeler car (not the station wagon). Nancy 's father told us it was silly to sit like that and besides it made him feel like a hired chauffeur. But all we did was giggle. Janie got her hair cut without telling us she was going to. She said she didn't know it herself until that afternoon when her mother took her to the beauty parlor and had a private talk with Mr. Anthony. Then Mr. Anthony started clipping away and next thing she knew-she had this new haircut. She looked like an elf. It did a lot for her. And for a minute I thought about how I would look with the same haircut. But then I remembered how long I'd been suffering to let my hair grow. I decided it would be stupid to cut it all off.

When we got to the party Norman 's mother opened the door for us. She was very tall and thin with a face like Norman 's. I remembered her from the PTA square dance. Tonight she wasn't dressed like a farmer. She had on black velvet pants and some kind of top that looked like it had diamonds and rubies all over it.

'Good evening, Mrs. Fishbein,' Nancy said, in a voice I'd never heard. 'Please meet my friend Margaret Simon.'

Mrs. Fishbein smiled at me and said, 'Glad to meet you, Margaret.' Then she took our coats away and handed them to a maid who carried them up the stairs.

'My, you all look so pretty!' Mrs. Fishbein said. 'Everyone is downstairs. Nancy, you know the way.'

I followed Nancy past the living room. The furniture was all very modern. The chairs looked like carved-out boxes and the tables were all glass. Everything was beige. At Nancy 's house the furniture all has lion's paws for feet and there are a million colors. At my house the living room is carpeted but empty. My mother is trying to decide what kind of stuff she wants.

Norman 's house was pretty big, because I had to follow Nancy through at least four more rooms before we got to a door leading downstairs.

It looked like most of my class was already there. Including Laura Danker, who I thought looked gorgeous in a soft pink dress with her hair all loose, kind of hanging in her face.

The boys had on sport jackets and some wore ties. Philip Leroy had on a tie the first time I saw him but a few minutes later the tie was gone and his shirt was unbuttoned around the neck. Soon after that, not one boy had his jacket on. They were all in a big heap in the corner.

Mostly, the girls stayed on one side of the room, and the boys on the other. As soon as everyone was there Mrs. Fishbein brought out the food. All kinds of sandwiches and a big dish of cut-up hotdogs in beans. I took some of that and some potato salad and sat down at a table with Janie, Nancy and Gretchen. There were six little tables so practically everyone had a place to sit. As soon as we were all served Mrs. Fishbein and the maid went back upstairs.

I'm not sure who started blowing the mustard through a straw up at the ceiling. I only know that I saw Philip Leroy yell, 'Watch this, Freddy!' as he aimed his straw. I saw the mustard fly up and make a yellow splotch on the white ceiling.

Mrs. Fishbein didn't come downstairs again until dessert time. At first she didn't see the ceiling. But she did see the mess on the buffet table. When she looked up she sucked m her breath and the room got very quiet. 'What is that on my ceiling?' she asked Norman.

'Mustard,' Norman answered.

'I see,' Mrs. Fishbein replied.

That was all she said but she looked at every one of us with an I-don't-know-why-your-parents-never-taught- you-any-manners look. Then Mrs. Fishbein stood close to our table and said, 'I'm sure these girls aren't responsible for this mess.' We smiled at her, but I saw Philip Leroy stick out his tongue at us.

'Now I'm going upstairs to get your dessert,' Mrs. Fishbein said, 'and I expect you to behave like ladies and gentlemen.'

Dessert was tiny cupcakes in all different colors. I ate two chocolate ones before Freddy Barnett came over to our table. 'I'm sure these girls didn't do anything naughty!' he mimicked. 'These girls are so sweet and good.'

'Oh shut up!' Nancy told him, standing up. She was as tall as he was.

'Why don't you shut up, know it all!'

'Cut it out, Lobster!' Nancy hollered.

'Who's a lobster?'

'You are!' Nancy gritted her teeth.

Freddy grabbed hold of Nancy and for a minute I thought he was going to hit her.