Nijidith River, and nowhere else. The largest of his temples occupied the huge portal cavern which linked the world of daylight with the inner dark of the Stench Caves, and, at the end of their journey, Witchlord and Weaponmaster were led into this Prime Temple. It was dominated by a huge carving which depicted the God of Bounty graciously vomiting into the begging bowls of His worshippers.
It was then explained to the two that they must convert to the worship of the God of Bounty if they would venture deeper into the Stench Caves. Since both were agreeable to being converted, the rites of conversion immediately began: and took a full three days to complete.
Neither Lord Onosh nor his son Guest either felt or expressed any impatience at this delay. For, while those who read histories are commonly eager to know What Happens Next, those who have the misfortune to be making history in their own right would usually rather not know, or at least not just yet. Guest in particular welcomed the respite, for it allowed him to drain and dry the blisters which he had got from his new boots on the march to the Stench Caves.
Witchlord and Weaponmaster endured the three days of ritual with such perfect patience that the high priest of the God of Bounty, impressed by their manifest piety, told them that there were two vacancies in the priesthood.
'You are candidates,' said the high priest. 'Say the word, and you will be accepted.'
'Ah,' said Guest, 'but we are doomed on a quest.'
'No,' said the high priest. 'Do but say the word, and you will be inducted into the priesthood. Priests do not quest.'
Encouraged by this – for the longeurs of three days of ritual had failed to give him any enthusiasm for finding out What Happens next – Guest asked for details. He was told that the two positions currently vacant were those of the Collector of Alms and the Blesser of Turds.
'The one, by tradition, is always a blind man with his male attributes removed,' said the high priest, licking his lips. 'The other has no ears, and is likewise bereft of the attributes specific to his gender.'
On getting a painfully precise explanation of what was meant by the removal of 'male attributes', Witchlord and Weaponmaster decided that (unfortunately) neither of them was worthy to be inducted into the priesthood of the God of Bounty.
'A pity,' said the high priest, who had looked forward to the task of making these potential new recruits eligible for the priesthood. 'A great pity.'
Then he supervised the arming of Witchlord and Weaponmaster.
They were equipped with swordbelts, with swords, with knives, with throwing stars, with eye-gouging handscrews, with darning needles and with packets of pepper. All the weapons were firmly lashed to their swordbelts (but for the darning needles and packets of pepper, which were enclosed in leather purses which had been stitched tight, the purses themselves then being bound to the swordbelts). The idea was that the questing heroes would not be given any encouragement to run amok in the temple – but, once free in the Stench Caves, they would be able to liberate a full complement of weapons at their leisure.
And so at last – much to the relief of Aldarch the Third, who lacked the infinite tolerance for ritual which Guest and his father had so capably demonstrated – Witchlord and Weaponmaster were conveyed to the innermost door of the Prime Temple which occupied the portal cavern of the Stench Caves. The Nijidith River existed from the Stench Caves by means of the gap beneath that innermost door, which was opened in a long ceremony involving much wailing, and the laceration of priestly noses, and the banging of calabashes, and the ceremonial sacrifice of a rat.
Having been sacrificed, the rat was then cooked, and portions of it were served to both Witchlord and Weaponmaster. They ate it without any qualms whatsoever (while confined in the Fulch, Guest Gulkan had several times eaten raw rat, therefore had no objection to the same article when cooked), and found it perfectly palatable, for it was not a filth-eater, but, rather, a pampered creature which had been properly raised expressly for the purpose of consumption.
Having thus fed, Witchlord and Weaponmaster were escorted through the Gates of Filth (for thus was the innermost door named), where they were ordered to halt in front of a small altar set amidst a sea of mud. A greenish phosphorescent light shone dimly down from the roof, and this was supplemented by flaring torches.
'Halt!' said the high priest.
For the ceremonies were not yet over! Before the questing heroes could be allowed to proceed any further into the inner depths, Aldarch the Third must first consecrate their mission by sacrificing a frog.
A frog was produced. It was a brown frog spotted with purplish strawberry-shaped markings. It had been securely trussed with threads of gold, and of silver, of purple, and of crimson. Guest Gulkan and his father were invited to kiss this animal, which they duly did, pressing reverent lips to the coldness of its skin. Then the high priest placed the sacrifice on the altar, and withdrew.
Aldarch the Third then stroked the frog with his finger, and hummed to it, then sucked on his finger, then let a glob of saliva fall to its cool flesh, then used his finger to spread his spittle across the animal's skin. Guest watched closely, for the Mutilator was wearing the ring of ever-ice on the very same finger which was stroking the frog, and Guest wished he could think of some way to win possession of that ring.
Then the Mutilator drew his knife.
It was a small knife, a weapon made with a back-breaking curve which ended not in a point but in a bead. A bluish bead.
Bluish? Greenish? It was hard to tell, for, after all, the Stench Caves were lit by the green glow from the roof combined with the flaring torchlight, which – as any interior designer will tell you – is scarcely the kind of illumination to be using when one is trying to match colors. But, despite the limitations of the light, Guest Gulkan was fairly sure that the bead on the end of the Mutilator's knife was a kind of blue or green. It looked to me made of porcelain, and so reminded him of the hideous coffin in the Mutilator's bathroom. Yet. The sight of that bead stirred a deeper memory. What?
The Mutilator jabbed at the frog. The animal convulsed. And Guest remembered.
Standing there at the Stench Gates, Guest Gulkan once again remembered the vision which had long ago beset him in the mainrock
Pinnacle. His vision had transported him to a room where a grayskinned stranger had slapped him, then had jabbed him with a hooked knife, terminating his vision, and precipitating his return to the realities of the mainrock.
Aldarch was the gray-skinned stranger.
The knife which had sacrificed the frog was the same knife which had assailed Guest during his visionary transportation.
And.
And!
The demon Ungular Scarth had said -
In the Temple of Blood, in the octagonal chamber which housed the Great God Jocasta, the jade-green demon had told Guest that a special knife needed to cut through the force-field which imprisoned the Great God. Anaconda Stogirov, High Priestess of the Temple of Blood, was in possession of one such blade.
The other -
'Wah!' said Guest.
And his father, who had been waiting for a cue which would tell him his son was ready for violence, slammed the Mutilator with his elbow. Down went the Mutilator! Guest grabbed for the Mutilator's knife.
'Mazara!' screamed the Mutilator, rising from the mud. Guest slashed him across the cheek. The Mutilator reeled backward, and Guest kicked him in the crutch. As Aldarch doubled over, Guest grabbed the man's head. Slammed it with his knee. The ripped the ring of ever-ice from the Mutilator's finger, and crammed it onto his own hand.
'Come on!' cried Lord Onosh.
So, realizing he did not have time to decapitate the Mutilator, or to skin him alive, or to organize his roasting, Guest chopped him on the neck – hoping the blow would kill – then went pelting into the darkness.
Witchlord and Weaponmaster fled at full pace. A dozen paces took them to the first of a multitude of corkscrew turns in an ever-branching tunnel. Then the Stench Caves widened from tunnel to cavern, and the
