Last Sacrifice

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'Get him out of here!' she called again. 'He's trying to bring Victor back! He'll be shadow-kissed!'

I was still confused and upset, still appalled at what I'd done, but the danger of what she said hit me hard. Robert couldn't be allowed to bring back Victor back. The brothers were dangerous enough without being bonded. Victor couldn't be allowed to summon ghosts the way I could. Victor had to stay dead.

'Doesn't he have to touch the body?' I asked.

'To finish the bond, yes. But he was wielding tons of spirit just now, calling Victor's soul back and keeping it around,' she explained.

When Dimitri and Robert were gone, Sonya told me to help her move the body. We'd made too much noise, and it was a wonder no one had come out yet. Jill joined us, and I moved without really being aware of what I was doing. Sonya found the keys to the CR-V on Victor and flattened the backseats to increase the rear cargo space. We crawled into it, the three of us having to hunch down to stay out of sight. We soon heard voices, people coming to see what had happened. I don't know long they were in the parking lot, only that they mercifully didn't search cars. Honestly? I had few coherent thoughts at all. That rage was gone, but my mind was a mess. I couldn't seem to get a hold of anything concrete. I felt sick and just followed Sonya's orders, staying low as I tried not to look at Victor's body.

Even after the voices were gone, she kept us in the car. At last, she exhaled a deep breath and focused on me. 'Rose?' I didn't answer right away. 'Rose?'

'Yeah?' I asked, voice cracking.

Her voice was soothing and cajoling. I felt that crawling on my skin again and a need to please her. 'I need you to look at the dead. Open your eyes to them.'

The dead? No. My mind felt out of control, and I had enough sense to know bringing ghosts here would be a bad idea. 'I can't.'

'You can,' she said. 'I'll help you. Please.'

I couldn't refuse her compulsion. Expanding my senses, I let down the walls I kept around me. They were the walls that blocked me from the world of the dead and the ghosts that followed me around. Within moments, translucent faces appeared before me, some like normal people and others terrible and ghastly. Their mouths opened, wanting to speak but unable to.

'What do you see?' asked Sonya.

'Spirits,' I whispered.

'Do you see Victor?'

I peered into the swarm of faces, seeking anyone familiar. 'No.'

'Push them back,' she said. 'Put your walls back up.'

I tried to do as she said, but it was hard. I didn't have the will. I felt outside encouragement and realized Sonya was still compelling me. She couldn't make the ghosts disappear, but feelings of support and determination strengthened me. I shut out the restless dead.

'He's gone then,' Sonya said. 'He's either completely consumed by the world of the dead or is wandering as a restless spirit. Regardless, any lingering threads to life are gone. He can't come back to life.' She turned to Jill. 'Go get Dimitri.'

'I don't know where he is,' said Jill, startled.

Sonya smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. 'Close, I'm sure. And watching. Go walk around the motel, the block, whatever. He'll find you.'

Jill left, needing no compulsion. When she was gone, I buried my face in my hands. 'Oh God. Oh God. All this time, I denied it, but it's true: I am a murderer.'

'Don't think about that yet,' said Sonya. Her take-charge attitude was almost comforting. Almost. It was easier to take orders than fend for yourself. 'Deal with your guilt later. For now, we have to get rid of the body.'

I uncovered my eyes and forced myself to look at Victor. Nausea welled up within me, and those crazy feelings spun even more out of control. I gave a harsh laugh. 'Yes. The body. I wish Sydney was here. But we don't have any magic potions. The sun won't destroy him. Weird, isn't it? Strigoi are harder to kill . . . harder to kill, easier to clean up.' I laughed again because there was something familiar about my rambling . . . it was like Adrian in one of his weird moments. Or Lissa when spirit had pushed her to the edge. 'This is it, isn't it?' I asked Sonya. 'The flood . . . the flood you warned me about. Lissa escaped spirit, but it finally defeated me . . . just like Anna . . . just like the dream . . . oh God. This is the dream, isn't it? But I won't wake up . . .'

Sonya was staring at me, her blue eyes wide with . . . fear? Mockery? Alarm? She reached out and took my hand. 'Stay with me, Rose. We'll push it back.'

A knock at the window startled us both, and Sonya let Jill and Dimitri in.

'Where's Robert?' asked Sonya.

Dimitri glanced down at Victor and then promptly looked away. 'Unconscious, hidden in some bushes around the corner.'

'Charming,' said Sonya. 'Do you think that's smart? Leaving him?'

He shrugged. 'I figured I shouldn't be seen carrying an unconscious guy in my arms. In fact . . . yes, I think we should just leave him there. He'll wake up. He's not a fugitive. And without Victor, he's . . . well, not harmless. But less harmful. We can't keep dragging him with us anyway.'

I laughed again, that laugh that seemed unhinged and hysterical even to me. 'He's unconscious. Of course. Of course. You can do that. You can do the right thing. Not me.' I looked down at Victor. '‘An animal,' he said. He was right. No higher reasoning . . .' I wrapped my arms around myself, my fingernails digging into my skin so hard they drew blood. Physical pain to make the mental pain go away. Wasn't that what Lissa had always said?

Dimitri stared at me and then turned to Sonya. 'What's wrong?' he demanded. I'd seen him risk his life over and over, but never, until now, had he truly looked afraid.

'Spirit,' said Sonya. 'She's pulled and pulled for so long . . . and managed to hold it back. It's been waiting, though. Always waiting . . .' She frowned slightly, maybe realizing she was starting to sound like me. She turned to Jill. 'Is that silver?'

Jill looked down at the heart-shaped locket around her neck. 'I think so.'

'Can I have it?'

Jill undid the clasp and passed it over. Sonya held it between her palms and closed her eyes a moment, pursing her lips. A few seconds later, her eyes opened, and she handed me the locket. 'Put it on.'

Just touching it gave me a strange tingling in my skin. 'The heart . . .' I looked at Dimitri as I fastened the clasp. 'Do you remember that? ‘Where's the heart?' you asked. And here it is. Here it . . .'

I stopped. The world suddenly became crisper. My jumbled thoughts slowly began to move back together, forming some semblance of rationality. I stared at my companions—the living ones—truly seeing them now. I touched the locket.

'This is a healing charm.'

Sonya nodded. 'I didn't know if it'd work on the mind. I don't think it's a permanent fix . . . but between it and your own will, you'll be okay for a while.'

I tried not to focus on those last words. For a while. Instead, I tried to make sense of the world around me. Of the body in front of me.

'What have I done?' I whispered.

Jill put her arm around me, but it was Dimitri who spoke.

'What you had to.'

TWENTY-NINE

THE EVENTS THAT FOLLOWED were a blur. Sonya might have kept spirit's touch at bay, but it didn't matter. I was still in shock, still unable to think. They put me in the front seat, as far from Victor as possible. Dimitri drove us somewhere—I didn't pay much attention—where he and Sonya disposed of the body.