That voice . . . that wonderful, honey-like voice with its soft accent. It enveloped me, and with it came the impossible truth and its full impact: I was alive. I was alive. And Dimitri was here.
I couldn't see him but felt a smile come to my lips. 'Are you my nurse?'
I heard him get up from a chair and walk over. Seeing him stand over me like that reminded me of just how tall he truly was. He looked down at me with a smile of his own—one of those full and rare smiles. He had cleaned up since last I'd seen him, his brown hair tied neatly back behind his neck, though he hadn't shaved for a couple days. I tried to sit up, but he tsked me back.
'No, no, you need to lie down.' Soreness in my chest told me he was right. My mind might be awake, but the rest of me was exhausted. I had no idea how much time had passed, but something told me my body had been fighting a battle—not with a Strigoi or anything like one, but with itself. A battle to stay alive.
'Then come closer,' I told him. 'I want to see you.'
He considered this a moment and then kicked off his shoes. Turning on my side—which made me wince—I managed to wiggle over a little to make room near the bed's edge. He curled up beside me. Our faces rested on the same pillow, only a couple of inches apart as we gazed at each other.
'Is this better?' he asked.
'Much.'
With his long, graceful fingers, he reached out and brushed hair from my face before tracing the edge of my cheekbone. 'How are you?'
'Hungry.'
He laughed softly and cautiously slid his hand down to rest on my lower back, in a sort of half-embrace. 'Of course you are. I think they've only managed to get broth into you so far. Well, that and IV fluids early on. You're probably in sugar withdrawal.'
I cringed. I didn't like needles or tubes and was glad I hadn't been awake to see them. (Tattoo needles were a different matter.) 'How long have I been out?'
'A few days.'
'A few days . . .' I shivered, and he tugged the covers higher on me, thinking I was cold. 'I shouldn't be alive,' I whispered. Gunshots like that . . . they were too fast, too close to my heart. Or in my heart? I put my hand to my chest. I didn't know precisely where I'd been hit. It all ached. 'Oh Lord. Lissa healed me, didn't she?' It would have taken so much spirit. She shouldn't have done that. She couldn't afford to. Except . . . why would I still feel pain? If she'd healed me, she would have gone all the way.
'No, she didn't heal you.'
'No?' I frowned, unable to process that. How else would I have survived? A surprising answer came to mind. 'Then . . . Adrian? He'd never . . . after how I treated him . . . no. He couldn't have . . .'
'What, you think he'd let you die?'
I didn't answer. The bullets might be long gone, but thinking of Adrian still made my heart—figuratively— ache.
'No matter how he feels . . .' Dimitri hesitated. This was a delicate topic, after all. 'Well, he wouldn't have let you die. He wanted to heal you. But he didn't either.'
I felt bad for thinking so little of Adrian. Dimitri was right. Adrian never would have abandoned me out of spite, but I was rapidly running out of options here. 'Then who? Sonya?'
'No one,' he said simply. 'Well, you, I suppose.'
'I . . . what?'
'People can heal without magic now and then, Rose.' There was amusement in his voice, though his face stayed sober. 'And your wounds . . . they were bad. No one thought you'd survive. You went into surgery, and then we all just waited.'
'But why . . .' I felt very arrogant, asking the next question. 'Why
'Oh, they wanted to, believe me. But in the aftermath, in the chaos . . . the Court went under lockdown. They were both taken away and put under heavy protection before they could act. No one would let them near you, not when they still thought you might be a murderer. They had to be certain about Tasha first, even though her own actions were pretty damning.'
It took me a moment to get past the idea that modern medicine and my body's own stamina had healed me. I'd grown too used to spirit. This didn't seem possible. As I tried to wrap my mind around the concept, the rest of Dimitri's meaning hit me. 'Is Tasha . . . still alive?'
His face fell even more. 'Yes. They caught her right after she shot you—before anyone else got hurt. She's detained, and more evidence has been coming in.'
'Calling her out was one of the hardest things I've ever done,' I said. 'Fighting Strigoi was easier than that.'
'I know. It was hard for me to see, hard for me to believe.' There was a far-off look in his eyes, reminding me that Dimitri had known her longer than he'd known me. 'But she made her choices, and all the charges against you have been dropped. You're a free woman now. More than that. A hero. Abe's bragging that it's all his doing.'
That brought my smile back. 'Of course he is. I'll probably get a bill from him soon.' I felt dizzy with both joy and astonishment.
Dimitri laughed, and I wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of us, sweet and unguarded. Well— maybe not exactly this. I could've done without the pain and thick bandages I felt on my chest. He and I had had so few times alone, moments when we could really relax and openly acknowledge being in love. Things had only begun to mend between us at the end there . . . and it had almost been too late. It might still be.
'So what now?' I asked.
'I'm not sure.' He rested his cheek against my forehead. 'I'm just so glad . . . so glad you're alive. I've been so close to losing you so many times. When I saw you on the floor, and there was so much commotion and confusion . . . I felt so helpless. I realized you were right. We waste our lives with guilt and self-loathing. When you looked at me there at the end . . . I saw it. You did love me.'
'You doubted?' I meant the words jokingly, but they came out sounding offended. Maybe I was, a little. I'd told him I loved him plenty of times.
'No. I mean, I knew then that you didn't just love me. I realized you really had forgiven me.'
'There was nothing to forgive, not really.' I'd told him that before too.
'I've always believed there was.' He pulled back and looked at me again. 'And that's what was holding me back. No matter what you said, I just couldn't believe it . . . couldn't believe you would forgive all the things I did to you in Siberia and after Lissa healed me. I thought you were deluding yourself.'
'Well. It wouldn't be the first time I've done that. But no, this time I wasn't.'
'I know, and with that revelation . . . in that split second that I knew you forgave me and that I really had your love, I was finally able to forgive myself too. All those burdens, those ties to the past . . . they went away. It was like . . .'
'Being free? Flying?'
'Yes. Except . . . it came too late. This sounds crazy, but while I was looking down at you, having all these thoughts coming together in my head, it was like . . . like I could see death's hand reaching for you. And there was nothing I could do. I was powerless. I couldn't help.'
'You did,' I told him. 'The last things I saw before blacking out were you and Lissa.' Well, besides the skeletal faces, but mentioning that would have killed this romantic moment. 'I don't know how I survived getting shot, how I beat the odds . . . but I'm pretty sure your love—both of you—gave me the strength to fight through. I had to get back to you guys. God only knows what trouble you'd get into without me.'
Dimitri had no words for that and answered instead by bringing his mouth to mine. We kissed, lightly at first, and the sweetness of the moment overpowered any pain I felt. The intensity had just barely picked up when he pulled away.
'Hey, what gives?' I asked.
'You're still recovering,' he chastised. 'You might think you're back to normal, but you aren't.'
'This
