'Oh,' I said, stupidly, blushing. I turned away from the boy next to me, and I looked at the couple in front of us. The black man had toppled back to the grass, but the black girl was still on her knees, sucking hard. Sperm dribbled from her tightly clamped mouth, like saliva oozing from between her lips. I could see that the white boy under her was almost in pain from coming, and he was begging her to release his cock. She did finally, and it fell from her purple lips, a broken deflated piece of flesh.
'More!' the black girl shouted, licking the sperm from the boy's belly. 'More… cockT
The crowd began to laugh, and men began pushing each other, kiddingly, coaxing their friends to be the one to answer her request. Finally someone did, stripping off-his clothing, and he rushed to fuck her while she was still on her knees.
'Wow,' the tall thin man-boy next to me said. 'Wow. That is really wild.'
The man dropped down behind her and stabbed his cock into her cunt. The girl groaned loudly.
I watched in fascination, breathing shallowly, and I jumped when the boy next to me touched my arm.
'You going?' he asked. 'I don't think I can stand much more of this without coming in my pants.' He touched his cock again.
What could I say? No, I'm not going; I'm going to stay and watch? It didn't seem to me that I had very much of a choice. Besides he was good-looking and I found myself thinking again and again of his cock.
'I guess so,' I said, feeling at ease with him, amazed slightly at the ease with which I was picked up. 'I've seen enough.'
He smiled at me, but his blue eyes were cold on my sweaty flesh. 'My name is Zachary. You can call me Zach.'
I fell in step next to him, looking up at him. 'My name is Sally,' I said, eliminating my last name. Somehow it no longer seemed appropriate. 'Hi, Sally,' he said. 'You with somebody?' I shook my head. 'No, I'm aJone.' 'You're a groovy-looking chick, you know that?'
I blushed. 'Thank you.' I felt my nipples tingle from the sound of his voice, and I tried to cover them over by folding my arms. 'Thanks.'
'You want to go to my tent?' he asked. 'I'm with some people, but they're good people. You'll like them.'
A bit of the old morality came back to me, and I found myself thinking no. But, somehow, the parallel of going up to a man's apartment the first time you met him just didn't work in this situation, in this environment.
I shrugged my shoulders. 'I don't know. I guess so.'
'Good, man,' he said, his voice barely audible. Tve got some really good grass there. We could do some if you want.'
Grass, I thought. Marijuana. He was talking about smoking marijuana, something I've never done. My stomach tensed, and something cold and heavy crawled up my spine. I knew I should run, but where to? Home? That didn't work anymore either^ I was in a whole new world, playing by a set of all new rules. 'Okay,' I answered. 'I guess so.' 'Beautiful'
It was so clean and simple, I thought, slightly amazed. Two minutes ago I didn't even know him. Now I was going to his tent to smoke marijuana with him. No wasted effort, no phony pretensions of roles. Just two people communicating directly with each other. It was a strange, new and exciting experience. We walked to Zach's tent.
Inside, sitting on the grass and dirt floor were three young, bearded men. They were each sitting on the floor, legs crossed, and they were passing a cigarette between them. The same acrid, pungent odor filled the tent.
'People,' Zach said. 'This is Sally. Sally, this is Lenny, Steve and Gino.' I nodded and said a weak hello. 'Hey, people could you do me a big favor? Why 62 don't you split for a while so that me and Sally can do a little grass… in private? Okay?'
With almost no grumbling, the three got up and smiled benignly at me. Their eyes were glazed and there was a simple, almost stupid smile on their faces. The last one, a short blond youth with a scraggly yellow bead, the one called Gino, waved at me and said: 'Everything is cool.'
I didn't know what he meant, and Fm not sure he did either. Zach slapped him on the back and told him he was a good man.
When they were gone, Zach took me by the hand and led me to the middle of the tent. We sat down, facing each other, with our legs crossed. I felt anxious, and my mouth was dry. I licked my lips. 'Ready?' Zach asked. I nodded. 'Sure.'
He reached over and fished into the bedroll and removed three unevenly rolled joints from the folds of material. He placed two on the floor between us, and stuck the third between his lips. He lit a match and brought the flame up to the end of the twisted yellow paper.
The paper burned, and Zach took one or two puffs. Then he drew heavily on it, and the end glowed brightly. The thick smell of the strong smoke filled my nostrils.
'Wow,' he said, sucking in air along with the smoke. He blinked twice, then handed the joint to me.
I held it tentatively. My hand was shaking and I felt apprehension spreading up and down my spine. But I knew I couldn't turn back now. I was caught up in my own search for whatever it was I thought I needed. Perhaps it would be in the brown, twisted weed of burning marijuana,
I placed the joint between my lips. Fve never smoked it, but how to smoke was common knowledge. I've seen it done hundreds of times on television. I drew in deeply, taking a deep drag, sucking the powerful smoke deep into my lungs. I held my breath, keeping the smoke down. I handed, the joint back to Zach.
He exhaled and blew out a thin blue haze of smoke, then took the joint from me and took another toke.
The smoke was harsh and burning, and my lungs rebelled. I wanted to expell the smoke almost immediately, but I closed my mouth and nose, holding my breath until I felt something warm spreading out from my lungs. I felt light-headed, with tears welling up behind my eyes. Finally I expelled the smoke, gasping for air.
Zach handed me the joint again, and I took my second drag. I watched how he did it, and this time I sucked in air with the smoke. The smoke went down deep and hard, like a solid mass, and my eyes began to tear. I could feel the smoke swirling around in my chest, and my hands began to tingle.
By the time we had finished the first joint and were halfway into the second, I was completely and totally stoned. It was like nothing I've ever felt in my life. I felt light-headed and woozy, yet in no way did I feel sick or nauseous. I felt disassociated, as if my brain was located outside of my body, and I was looking in, at myself. I felt strangely giddy, and I had to fight back the growing need to giggle. But mostly I felt calm and relaxed and strangely contented.
'Man, Sally,' Zach said. His voice seemed to be blipping in and out of my range of hearing, like someone was turning the sound on and off. 'I am stoned. I am smashedF
I began to giggle. His words seemed absurdly, wildly funny. It was the wildest thing I've every heard in my life. Except for my answer: 'So am II' I screamed.
We finished the joint, and I couldn't remember how many toes I had. I could feel words coming up my esophagus, like bubbles, popping from my mouth and floating across the room. Zach seemed to be floating, moving in slow motion.
'Hey, Sally, you know what? I want to fuck you.' The words came out slow and spaced and very far away.
I didn't understand him. 'What?' I asked, but slowly, like water dripping into my brain, the answer filled my thoughts.
'Oh,' I said, considering his proposal. 'You want to fuck me?' 'Yeah. You want to?'
I didn't know. I couldn't pin my thoughts down long enough to decide. So I said: 'All right,'
I watched calmly, unexcitedly, as Zach floated across the small space between us. His hands caressed my breasts, and I looked down and watched. Somewhere, deep inside of my body, I could feel the far away tingle of the caress. It made my cunt throb.
'That's wild,' I said, staring down. Zach had opened my dress and he was playing with my tits. The nipples were erect and long and pink, and I watched, with excitement tapping at my brain, as he pinched them between his fingers. A deep spreading warmth burned down into my body from the end of my nipples.
