The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge

'Is the defeat by any of these enemies a final defeat?'

'Of course it is final. Once one of these enemies overpowers a man there is nothing he can do.'

'Is it possible, for instance, that the man who is defeated by power may see his error and mend his ways?'

'No. Once a man gives in he is through.'

'But what if he is temporarily blinded by power, and then refuses it?'

'That means his battle is still on. That means he is still trying to become a man of knowledge. A man is defeated only when he no longer tries, and abandons himself.'

'But then, don Juan, it is possible that a man may abandon himself to fear for years, but finally conquer it.'

'No, that is not true. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it.'

'How can he defeat his third enemy, don Juan?'

'He has to defy it, deliberately. He has to come to realize the power he has seemingly conquered is in reality never his. He must keep himself in line at all times, handling carefully and faithfully all that he has learned. If he can see that clarity and power, without his control over himself, are worse than mistakes, he will reach a point where everything is held in check. He will know then when and how to use his power. And thus he will have defeated his third enemy.

'The man will he, by then, at the end of his journey of learning, and almost without warning he will come upon the last of his enemies: Old age! This enemy is the cruellest of all, the one he won't be able to defeat completely, but only fight away.

'This is the time when a man has no more fears, no more impatient clarity of mind — a time when all his power is in check, but also the time when he has an unyielding desire to rest. If he gives in totally to his desire to lie down and forget, if he soothes himself in tiredness, he will have lost his last round, and his enemy will cut him down into a feeble old creature. His desire to retreat will overrule all his clarity, his power, and his knowledge.

'But if the man sloughs off his tiredness, and lives his fate through, he can then be called a man of knowledge, if only for the brief moment when he succeeds in fighting off his last, invincible enemy. That moment of clarity, power, and knowledge is enough.'

4

Don Juan seldom spoke openly about Mescalito. Every time I questioned him on the subject he refused to talk, but he always said enough to create an impression of Mescalito; an impression that was always anthropomorphic. Mescalito was a male, not only because of the mandatory grammatical rule that gives the word a masculine gender, but also because of his constant qualities of being a protector and a teacher. Don Juan reaffirmed these characteristics in various forms every time we talked.

Sunday, 24 December 1961

'The devil's weed has never protected anyone. She serves only to give power. Mescalito, on the other hand, is gentle, like a baby.'

'But you said Mescalito is terrifying at times.'

'Of course he is terrifying, but once you get to know him, he is gentle and kind.'

'How does he show his kindness?'

'He is a protector and a teacher.'

'How does he protect?'

'You can keep him with you at all times and he will see that nothing bad happens to you.'

'How can you keep him with you at all times?'

'In a little bag, fastened under your arm or around your neck with a string.'

'Do you have him with you?'

'No, because I have an ally. But other people do.'

'What does he teach?' 'He teaches you to live properly.'

'How does he teach?'

'He shows things and tells what is what [enzenna las cosas у te dice lo que son].'

'How?'

'You will have to see for yourself.'

Tuesday, 30 January 1962

'What do you see when Mescalito takes you with him, don Juan?'

'Such things are not for ordinary conversation. I can't tell you that.'

'Would something bad happen to you if you told?'

'Mescalito is a protector, a kind, gentle protector; but that does not mean you can make fun of him. Because he is a kind protector he can also be horror itself with those he does not like.'

'I do not intend to make fun of him. I just want to know what he makes other people do or see. I described to you all that Mescalito made me see, don Juan.'

'With you it is different, perhaps because you don't know his ways. You have to be taught his ways as a child is taught how to walk.'

'How long do I still have to be taught?'

'Until he himself begins to make sense to you.'

'And then?'

'Then you will understand by yourself. You won't have to tell me anything any more.'

'Can you just tell me where Mescalito takes you?'

'I can't talk about it.'

'All I want to know is if there is another world to which he takes people.'

'There is.'

'Is it heaven?' (The Spanish word for heaven is cielo, but that also means 'sky'.)

'He takes you through the sky [cielo].'

'I mean, is it heaven [cielo] where God is?'

'You are being stupid now. I don't know where God is.' 'Is Mescalito God — the only God? Or is he one of the gods?' 'He is just a protector and a teacher. He is a power.' 'Is he a power within ourselves?'

'No. Mescalito has nothing to do with ourselves. He is outside us.'

'Then everyone who takes Mescalito must see him in the same form.'

'No, not at all. He is not the same for everybody.'

Thursday, 12 April 1962

'Why don't you tell me more about Mescalito, don Juan?' 'There is nothing to tell.'

'There must be thousands of things I should know before I encounter him again.'

'No. Perhaps for you there is nothing you have to know. As I have already told you, he is not the same for everyone.'

'I know, but still I'd like to know how others feel about him.' 'The opinion of those who care to talk about him is not worth much. You will see. You will probably talk about him up to a certain point, and from then on you will never discuss him.' 'Can you tell me about your own first experiences?' 'What for?'

'Then I'll know how to behave with Mescalito.' 'You already know more than I do. You actually played with him. Someday you will see how kind the protector was with you. That first time I am sure he told you many, many things, but you were deaf and blind.'

Saturday, 14 April 1962

*Does Mescalito take any form when he shows himself?' 'Yes, any form.'

'Then, which are the most common forms you know?' 'There are no common forms.'

'Do you mean, don Juan, that he appears in any form, even to men who know him well?'