depth to handle something so completely perverse, so wrong. I didn't even know if I did. Especially when it'd come so close behind my rape by the bikers, my rape by the drifter… Tony. I hadn't forgotten his name. The dirty bastard.
'You do look a little pale. I'll fix you something to eat.' Mother left me alone. I got up and pulled on a pair of jeans, a jersey. I couldn't stay in that trailer any longer. I just couldn't. To see my father, to have to look him in the eyes, knowing.
Where? I wasn't so angry that I couldn't think about practical things. I had only one relative who wouldn't mind if I appeared suddenly. My aunt on my mother's side. Aunt Betty. There'd have to be money for the bus ticket, some extra for expenses. Betty lived in Oklahoma, an all-day, all-night trip from Olema. I was shaking with anticipation. I knew what I was doing and it scared me. But I couldn't stay at home now, I just couldn't.
I got part of the money from Mom's purse, some more from what I'd been saving to buy a pair of sandals with. It still wasn't enough to get all the way to Aunt Betty's, but far enough. I could call her then, and she would come and pick me up, I just knew she would. While Mother was talking to Mrs. Caruthers on the phone, I sneaked out with a cardboard box full of my things. I knew I'd have to hurry before she started to the market and found I'd taken every last dollar from her purse. People glanced at me as I went down the sidewalk towards the center of town. Stranger… I hadn't been in Olema long enough to become a part of it and I didn't want to either. I didn't want to see Janey ever again, or Farley or Phil or any of those horrible bikers. The bus stop was in a drugstore on Main Street. I hurried along, my cardboard box banging against my knee, the money for a ticket clenched in my sweaty hand.
'Hey, where ya going in such a hurry?' The red Chevy blazer had pulled in front of me as I was about to cross the sheet. I began to tremble as I looked into Tony's blue eyes. He had on a plaid, wool shirt and his big arm bulged inside. He smiled his half-shy, half-crazy smile and rubbed his blond mustache. I found my courage again and stepped around the front of his car.
I heard him turn around and drive down the street beside me. I thought of running, of ducking into a store and then out the back into an alley. But I didn't really think all this would matter after a few more moments. I would be on a bus and heading out of town.
When I went in the drugstore, Tony parked his blazer and sauntered in, too. I ordered a Coke and sat at the fountain. The bus was due any minute.
'So you're blowin' town, huh?'
I looked at him, considered not answering, shrugged. 'So what?'
'You look like an Okie with that damned cardboard box.' He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it as he watched me. I felt shaky. When would that damned bus get in? Tony flicked his ashes, ordered a cup of coffee from the waitress. He was sitting two stools down. I had my box on the stool between us.
'Why don't you leave me alone,' I said.
'Why don't you let me save you some bread? I'm leaving this burg, too, and I'll give you a lift.'
I sipped my Coke. 'I'm not going in your direction, okay?' He rubbed his mustache like he always did when he was thinking of something. He was probably thinking of a way to fuck me again… The sound of air brakes outside made me whirl on my stool. Thank God! Tony got up, came around behind me. I felt his hand on my arm.
'Don't touch me!' I hissed. The waitress glanced our way, went on wiping the counter. 'I could have had you in jail! Do you know that?'
'You liked it too much to call the cops.'
I stared hate at him. 'I didn't. It was rape!' The waitress glanced up again. I twisted my wrist free of Tony's thick fingers. 'Just find some other girl to take advantage of. I never want to see you again in my whole life!'
The bus driver came in and I bought my ticket from him and followed him out to the Greyhound. Tony leaned out the door of the drugstore smiling as I shoved my cardboard box in the rack and slid into a seat. When I looked again, he was waving. The bus snorted like some giant animal and swooshed out into traffic. I took a deep breath and leaned back in the seat. I wasn't going to start thinking of Mom and Dad and get myself to crying. I was just thinking of surviving now. Of getting to Oklahoma City and calling my aunt to come pick me up. I closed my eyes and let the droning engine of the bus calm my head.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I didn't remember when the sailors got on the bus. I'd been daydreaming, watching the scenery pass. It was almost dark when we pulled out of our dinner stop and headed up to the main highway again. Then I looked around, and there was a sailor in the seat beside me.
'Hi, sweetheart.' There was liquor on his breath. He clasped something in a paper bag. A bottle. I bit my bottom lip, too scared to say anything back to him.
'You gain' far?' He smiled. He had a red beard, red mustache and the most insane eyes I'd ever seen in my life. Not mean, just crazy. He was built powerfully across the shoulders, slim in the hips. I saw his buddy in the seat across the aisle. His white hat was pushed down almost to the bridge of his nose and he gave me a wink when I looked over.
'Ask her to join us, Wayne,' the sailor across the aisle said. 'Tell her how fuckin' brave we are. Tell her…'
Wayne's red beard bristled. 'Watch your mouth, mister! This here's a lady.' I smiled at last. 'I would be most honored, fair Miss, if you would share a sip with two lost souls of the sea.' His eyes looked grey and green and blue. But mostly crazy.
'I… I really think I'd rather not.'
Wayne pushed the bottle up towards me. 'But you must. It's a maritime law.' He smoothed his beard.
'We're not on the ocean,' I said.
'Ah, my sweety, we are on the ocean of the great American road, adrift in a lost hound, bound for God- knows-where.'
The other sailor laughed. 'You tell her, Wayne!' Someone in a seat up the aisle glanced back, turned to continue reading.
'I really don't want to,' I said. Wayne's mad eyes glittered.
'Then we'll be forced to turn you over to the authorities.'
'What?'
'I happen to know you are a runaway.' He took my wrist. 'You couldn't be more than sixteen, lassie. Your parents must have notified the police already. They have your description, they'll be looking in every depot.' He was reading my reaction to his words. I tried to keep up a front, but the truth was that what he was saying had me scared. I hadn't thought that something like this might happen. My dad… yes, he was capable of it.
'I'm on my way to see a relative,' I told the sailor, nodding to make it look more convincing. 'My parents know perfectly well where I…'
'You're lying.' His eyes bored into me. I knew I was losing ground. 'Come with us, lassie.' His grip tightened on my wrist, then let go. My senses reeled. I might tell the driver that the sailors were bothering me, but what if Wayne held true to his bluff? What if he told them, made them check? I knew it could happen. Slowly I got up and followed Wayne and the other sailor back to their seat, the long seat which stretched across the back of the bus. They got me between them and Wayne handed the bottle over.
'I really don't want more than a sip.'
'Drink deep.' It was an order. There was an urgency in Wayne's voice, the same mad heat I'd noticed in his eyes. He licked the ends of his mustache. He wasn't bad-looking but he scared me. The other sailor put his hand on my jeaned thigh. I looked down, looked up at Wayne with frightened eyes.
'Herm only recognizes your beauty, as do I.' He put his hand on my other thigh. Wayne's hand was warmer, stronger. I felt him squeeze his fingertips against my flesh.
'I think I'd better go back to my seat.'
'You haven't had a drink yet,' the other sailor said, the one named Herm. I started to get up, but Wayne shoved me back down. I heard the knife blade flick before I saw it shining. Herm had it. He waved it slowly back
