'Well, why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?' Janey got up from her bed, paced the room. 'I mean, I wouldn't have stuck you with Phil anyway. He can really be an animal and I just figured you knew how to handle guys.'
'It's okay. Nothing that awful happened, I guess.' I was idly flipping through a movie magazine I'd found on Janey's desk. Janey was walking around naked and it made me uncomfortable to look at her. I hadn't taken off any of my clothes. The rest of the house was quiet. My watch said eleven.
'He tried, though, didn't he?' Janey's eyes were bright with curiosity.
'Oh, sure he tried.' I wasn't about to tell her any details. I wasn't going to let her know either that I'd watched Farley… My shoulders trembled with the thought of his cock opening Janey's cunt like a helpless, soft creature and then fucking her to ecstasy.
'Well, the next time I'll watch out for you.' She sat next to me, laid a hand on my shoulder. 'You never done it, huh?' There was obvious disbelief in her eyes.
'Well, everybody in the world doesn't go around fucking!' I was ashamed of the way my words had come out, looked down at the magazine again and then flung it aside.
'It's okay.' Janey hugged my shoulders. 'I was funny about sex until I got my first lay.' Her eyes looked dreamy. 'It was Farley. Guess you can just about figure that, right?' As though I wasn't even in the room, Janey rubbed a hand over her boobs, sighed. 'And he got me good tonight, too… Oh, did he ever!'
Something inside me wanted to ask her things, ask her how it felt when his cock slid deep inside her cunt. I stood and straightened my skirt instead. The ripped-out crotch of my panties irritated me. I never wanted to see Phil again as long as I lived.
'I think I want to go home.'
'But you're spending the night.'
'I don't feel like it, that's all. I just want to be in my bed tonight and…'
Janey looked irked at me. 'But it's after eleven. You can't…'
'Just three blocks to my place.' I tried to remember what street the trailer court was on. 'Isn't it?'
'Four blocks.' Janey took my hand. 'Look, my mom will think I hurt your feelings or something.'
I turned towards the door. 'Just tell her I felt sick. Tell her anything you want.' I did feel a little sick. I felt like crying, too, felt all mixed up inside.
'I'll try and come over tomorrow,' Janey said. Her expression was apologetic. She hugged me, and again I was painfully aware of her nakedness. She seemed so unashamed of her body. I watched her slip a hand down to the curls of her cunt. They were blonde, those curls and barely covered the redness of her pussylips. Farley had rubbed them red with his big cock.
'Night, Janey.' I managed a thin smile. There was probably no reason for me to be angry with her, but I was.
'Hey, go down Maple Street, will ya? There's plenty of streetlights.'
It wasn't half so scary as Janey had made it out to be. Olema was a sleepy little place, at least it seemed that way to me as I cut down Maple like my new friend had told me and turned on the street that the trailer court was on. An old man passed me. A carload of kids on their way home from the movie downtown. I took big lungfuls of air and tried to cleanse my mind of the evening's events. A night breeze sprang up and swished the trees above my head, made my skirt dance. I held it down, feeling naked because of the mined panties. The panties were one reason I hadn't wanted to stay at Janey's. I always slept in my panties at least, and it would've been embarrassing to borrow some of Janey's. I could see her start a whole new batch of questions about what Phil had done.
There was a strange car in front of our trailer, next to my dad's pickup. A red and white blazer, the four- wheel-drive kind. It was dented and muddy and a crack ran across the windshield on the driver's side. I shrugged and went up the steps to the trailer.
'Hey, my girl's home!' Dad reeled against the wall as he tried to get up, slumped back down again. There was a bottle of whiskey on its side on the floor… empty. The stranger squinted up at me from where he sat on the floor. He didn't look quite as drunk as Daddy, but drunk just the same. When he pushed himself up, I saw how big he was. Even bigger than my dad, who was darn big himself.
'This here's Tony,' Dad said, waving the empty bottle. 'Hey, Tony, I'm gonna have to go get us some more booze. Looka here!'
Tony gave me a half-shy smile, nodded. The other half of his smile did something that I wasn't in the mood to put up with. I looked back to my father.
'Where's Mom?'
He laughed, nodded his head towards the back of the trailer. 'Went to bed. Didn't want to join the Goddamn party.' Dad yawned, leaned his head back. 'Gotta get some more booze…'
I glanced over at Tony. He was rubbing his blond mustache. His hair was blondish, too, and his blue eyes took in my body with blatant frankness. But that shy smile on his lips made him seem kind of sweet at the same time.
'I think I'll get to bed,' I told him. My dad gave a rattling snore.
'Yeah, sure.' Tony stood up. He had to be over six-four. There was dirt on his Levi's and I noticed the folding knife in its leather scabbard at his belt – like the one Phil had worn. But Tony didn't seem at all like Phil. I had a silly flash of imagining, imagining that Tony had pulled Phil off of me and beat the hell out of him. Why was I still standing there? Why wasn't I going on to bed like I'd said?
'You working on the construction of the bridge?'
Tony put hands in his hip pockets. 'Nope. I met your dad at that bar down the block.' He grinned. 'The Tip On Inn. Crazy place, you know.' My dad was snoring loudly now and Tony squinted over at him, amused. 'He can drink some, your old man.'
'Was my mother… mad?' I didn't want to get into personal troubles, but I'd seen Dad get rough with her before and wondered if it had happened tonight.
'Yeah.' Tony turned towards the door, paused long enough to get a cigarette lit. 'I thought maybe Al was gonna slap her or something, but she cooled out.'
He took a long drag on his cigarette, looked down at me. He was so damn big! I shrugged, smiled. The wind was up again outside. I could hear it in the trees that lined the court.
'Hey, you want to step outside for a little bit?'
'Oh no, thank you very much anyway. I… I think I want to go to bed…'
'It's nice out.' He cocked his head. 'Wind's cooling things off.' He opened the door, gestured with a big hand. 'Come on, I'm just gonna finish this smoke and push on.'
Sometimes I do things I don't really understand. That's why I followed Tony outside I guess. It was nice out. And talking to someone who didn't know anything about my awful night made things better somehow. Like a completely fresh conversation, a new moment. Tony was good-looking, too, and obviously more mature than those creeps Janey knew. I liked the way his blond hair curled thickly over his shirt collar. Not freaky, just long enough to be sort of cool. And he did kind of like me. I knew he did.
'Your car sure is beat up…' I laughed as the wind beat around us.
'Well-used is the word.' Tony's cigarette glowed orange as he sucked on it. 'I got it in Alaska.'
'Alaska?'
'I was logging up there.' His smile was far off, hinting something wild. 'And doing other things.'
I closed my thighs so I wouldn't be reminded of my naked cunt. I wished I'd borrowed a pair of panties from Janey now. I pulled the hem of my jersey down, turned to face Tony so he wouldn't notice the size of my tits so much.
'What do you do now?' I asked.
'Nothing much. Just cruising through town, heading west again.' He flipped his cigarette in a long arc and I watched the sparks scatter in the wind. 'Well, I guess I'll be moseying on.'
It was so weird how I didn't want him to go quite yet. He was nice, Tony was. He hadn't tried to put his hands all over me like Phil. We'd just talked. I felt like a human being again after spending just a few short minutes with him. But he was leaving. I watched him climb behind the wheel of his blazer. I waved.
'Good night!'
'Yeah, see ya.' His smile was lit by a streetlight. That same smile I'd seen inside the trailer when we'd first
