'Senator, remember Arrian's report to us of the boy's withdrawal of his personal wealth from safekeeping. Recall too the report of the lad's reputed liaison in an earlier interview…,' Suetonius murmured, casting a raised eyebrow at the young Cyrene.
'Reputed liaison?' the senator responded. 'Oh. I see. Tell us Thais of Cyrene, is it true you have been an intimate companion of the deceased, Antinous of Bithynia?' Clarus asked forthrightly. 'In fact you have been his secret paramour?'
Everyone's eyes turned to Thais.
'Intimate companion? Paramour?' she uttered with some dismay. 'Fine sirs, despite my own feelings about my wonderful master, and despite the many occasions when such sentiments could easily have arisen, not once in five years did Antinous impose upon my person in an intimate or amorous manner.
While all those around us at Court shared affairs of the heart and licentious behavior, Antinous and I remained entirely chaste. He was devoted solely to his erastes. It was their compact. Even in the two years since my manumission, we have maintained sober relations. That is, well, until very recently,' she said, her voice trailing away to a whisper.
'Until recently?'
'Yes. In fact until only weeks ago at Alexandria.' The Cyrene was almost inaudible.
'Explain, please.'
'Sirs, Antinous of Bithynia was Caesar's Favorite. For five years Antinous was an eromenos to Caesar's erastes. Antinous fulfilled this role according to the accepted custom still celebrated in the East by many men of the nobility. He sought no other companionship, even though many offered their enticements to him. Many, I assure you,' Thais recounted. ' I and his friend Lysias are witness to this fact.'
'By Jupiter, what is it the others wanted from this youth?' Clarus asked disingenuously. 'Are well-formed features so utterly tantalizing?'
'Antinous indeed possessed rare gifts, sir,' Thais responded, 'I believe it was his arete, my lords, his manly pursuit of excellence. His beauty of character was tantalizing. Women who view creatures endowed by Aphrodite as generously as Antinous has been well appreciate the bodily symmetries informed with such blessings. It tells of an inner enchantment, a boon of the gods, and so women seek to know and absorb this arete's spirit into their flesh. It is to hold his arete captive within their being — even to make babies to preserve this rare arete into continuing eternity? Women are deeply stimulated by such gifts.
Men are more contradictory. Their urge pursues the recovery of their passing youth so as to bathe in an undying source within their innermost being. It's an ageing man's envy of a younger man's still-dormant, but unlimited, life opportunities. Men envy this stage of life and wish to share it again and again.
The outstretched arm of eternally beautiful Apollo saluting the cyclical day reminds mortal men of the swift transience of youth and its once-in-a-lifetime allure. Youth's visible arete casts a spell on them. They recognize its primal force and fleeting beauty. They wish to relive it, possess it, and consume it, to once again participate in its aura both spiritually and bodily.
Some men yearn to engulf such a blossoming lifeforce and absorb it into their own being. Yes, good sirs, to many of us Antinous was indeed utterly tantalizing.'
Thais fell silent with lowered eyes. The group contemplated her words.
'So what happened three weeks ago that changed things?' Suetonius asked.
'Sirs, in being close to my master for five years I had grown very fond of him,' Thais continued. 'I have reason to believe my master had grown fond of me too. We shared much time together in talk and play. We were friends.
At first I wondered if, in making his choice between differing types of love, my master had taken the path of many men of the elites to channel his emotions towards other men, not to womenfolk. Many men around us do so. His commitment to his erastes agreed with this preference.
So it came as a surprise when Antinous announced at our apartments in one of those crumbling Ptolemy palaces at Alexandria how Caesar had terminated his role as his erastes. The time had arrived, that very day, he told us.
This meant Antinous was now free to make new choices, new experiences, if he wished. That is, if these things are a matter of choice rather than of inner nature.'
'And did he?' Suetonius queried.
'Antinous was devastated by Caesar's announcement. He hadn't prepared himself for it, though he knew it was long overdue. Besides, he felt he was in Great Caesar's debt for many things. He felt obliged to make recompense.'
'How did this affect your relationship with the young man?'
'In the days following Caesar's declaration, Antinous resolved to offer his first beard's trims to Zeus. His beard and his side-burns had recently grown sufficiently to be evident, despite being fair hued.
Antinous asked me to razor his hair and his sideburns for a formal burnt offering. We were silent together while I applied the knife to his thick mane so it retained its lushness. Antinous possesses beautiful thick locks. He is a golden blond all over.
While I was razoring his hair we both gradually perceived our close proximity. We were within inches of each other while I cut. Our flesh grazed from time to time. Neither of us withdrew from the other's touch. I could smell the perfume of sweet olive oil on his skin lingering after bathing. I sensed his flesh waken in interest. One thing led to another. We both realized our fondness for each other and Aphrodite smiled graciously upon us,' Thais offered quietly.
'Aphrodite?' Suetonius asked, perhaps unnecessarily.
'Antinous took me,' she said simply. 'He is impulsive. He's young. He was lusty with me in a man's way. I felt no regret. I acceded willingly, eagerly. Our bodies held each other close. We stayed together that night. We made love several times. That's all.'
Thais slipped into silence again as her voice faded.
Julianus picked up the thread.
'Please note gentlemen, Thais and Antinous did not become intimate in this way until some weeks after Hadrian had dissolved the mentoring relationship,' the jurist confirmed definitively.
'Was this the only occasion of this intimacy?' Clarus probed further. Thais responded in a low voice.
'No. We have slept together several nights since that time,' she said simply. 'And my monthly cycle is now overdue by more than a week. Antinous knows this.'
The men looked questioningly at each other while Surisca caressed Thais's hand. It was Clarus who asked the obvious.
'Does this mean…?' he blurted. Surisca replied in Thais's place.
'Not necessarily, but perhaps. Only time will tell. Mistress Thais might have to wait until her next cycle to confirm the possibility, or if other signs appear. That is if she wishes to retain a child to term,' the Syri explained.
'I do, I do, I do!' Thais declared brightly. 'Especially now he is no more!'
Suetonius turned to Julianus.
'Had Antinous given all his wealth to his young friend?' he asked.
'My understanding of the youth's accounts,' Julianus responded, 'which were stewarded by Arrian's custodian, a reputable man of discreet tongue, is that Antinous has apportioned about half his personal wealth to this young lady.'
'And the remainder?' Suetonius probed.
'I will introduce you to someone shortly who can throw light on those details,' was the evasive response.
'If the dead youth was giving away all his wealth,' Clarus challenged, 'surely this means a great deal about his vision of his future?'
Thais returned to the conversation.
'On the day Antinous provided the treasures and documents to me, I asked him 'If you give me so much of your wealth, you must be going away? He replied with the words 'Only a short while, not long. But I'm not sure when I'll return.'
'Not long? Not sure?' Suetonius asked. 'What ever could he mean by that? Have we stumbled upon some
