convince the Earthers to let you return to Wunderland, to battle for what you believe.” There was a sly smile playing about her aged face.
Even smiling, the face seemed stern. A mirror to my own, as I had recently discovered. How had I not seen it? I had been blinded by my own knotty conflicts.
“No,” I told her. “I’ll stay awake-with you.”
A slight squeeze on my arm. “Kenneth, Bergen knows Feynman far better than you.”
“There is nothing Bergen knows that I cannot learn.”
She smiled wanly. “No, there is nothing you cannot learn. But still, you must sleep.”
“You deserve to sleep, then.”
“As for me, I am too old to take the rigors of coldsleep, except for deep suspension.” She chuckled a bit. “But do not worry, Kenneth Klaus and I, we make quite the team.”
I couldn’t find the words in my Herrenmann mouth to express how I felt. I nodded agreement.
“It is all right,” she soothed, standing up a bit straighter. “I may be feeble, but never confuse that with weakness. Do not forget that I am Herrenmann, as are you.” A chuckle in the dim control room. “I will be there to waken you at Sol, my son, as I used to do when you were a child. I never expected to have that honor again.”
Finally I simply nodded I had no words.
I started to adjust the viewscreen, to get a last glimpse of Alpha Centauri before leaving the control room. To see the faint glimmer of light that four years ago had shone on my wife and children, Principle willing. But even as I began to touch the keypads, my mother’s hands gently turned me around. She peered intently into my face.
“Never backward, Kenneth.” Her voice was old, yes, but very strong. “Always look forward. That is what every Herrenmann must do.”
That is what Herrenmannen do. I nodded tightly. The future had to be focus, for now.
We walked together away from the warm lights of the control room. Toward the coldsleep chambers. I thought of the sunny seas of Earth, the salty waters, and tried to ignore the images flitting behind my eyes, images of small pale shadows fleeing hopelessly through leafy glades.
