Dhalgren

great red one rising into the sky…

The thought came with a load of monstrous comfort: This is impossible. He stopped clicking his pen. Momentarily he wanted to laugh.

Hallucination?

He gazed into the light, tried to open his eyes full to it; they hurt and refused.

He had wanted to write something?

This wasn't even hallucination. I'm probably lying in bed, somewhere, with my eyes closed… is that called dreaming?

After-images deviled the walls.

He turned his head away, and into darkness… dreaming?

His cheek was on a blanket. One arm was cramped beneath his side. He was filled with the tingling one has after having laughed a long time. He lay, trying to remember what had just passed, gnawing at his fingers till he tasted blood. And kept gnawing.

Lanya shifted, made some slow, sleepy sound. Kid took his hand from his mouth, curled his fingertips tight against his palm. 'Hey,' he said. 'Are you asleep…?'

Lanya stretched. 'More or less…' She lowered her chin and looked down at the blond head between their hips. 'What was his name?'

Kid laughed.

Denny's hand uncurled on Kid's thigh. Then the blond head came up. '…huh?'

'What's your name?' She pushed back cords of his hair.

Denny's lids slid closed. He sighed without answering and lay down again.

Kid held his laughter in this time. Lanya shook her head; her hand at Kid's forehead pushing at his coarser hair.

'How was he?' he whispered, from somewhere down in his chest.

'Mmmm?'

'I heard you two when I was sort of half-asleep.' He cupped her cheek and she turned to lip the ham of his thumb. 'How'd he do?'

She turned back. A smile and a frown mixed themselves on her face. 'Now which one of you was that—' She laughed when he shook her ear. 'Very sweet and very energetic.' She glanced down again. 'Sort of … up and down, you know? He's got quite a sense of humor.'

'That's one name for it.'

Her eyes came up again; even in the shadow their green was bright between his fingers baring her face.

'Terribly, terribly sweet, mainly.'

'And how are you?'

'Mmmmm.' She closed her eyes and smiled.

'You know what he did this morning?'

'What?'

'He dragged me in here and said he was going to blow me, and then he got that girl in here.'

She opened her eyes; 'Oh, is that how it happened.' He felt her eyebrows raise. 'Well, I guess turn about is fair play.'

'I dig that scene—'

'So I noticed. You're sweet too.'

'— but she was sort of funny about the whole thing. I didn't like it, I mean with her.'

'So I gathered. Also he's a little boy, isn't he? Or is he another baby face like you?'

'He's fifteen. She's seventeen. I think.'

Lanya sighed. 'Then perhaps you just have to give them time to grow into their own perversions. And by the way, how are you?'

'Fine.' Kid grinned. 'I'm really fine.'

And laughing, she pushed her face toward his.

Hands scrabbled on Kid's belly; Denny grunted.

An elbow hit Kid's stomach. A knee hit his knee.

'Hey, watch it,' Lanya said.

'I'm sorry,' Denny said, and fell on top of them.

The scent of Denny's breath, which was piney, joined Lanya's, which reminded Kid of ferns.

'Oof,' Lanya said. 'Would you please tell me what your name is?'

'Denny,' Denny said loudly in Kid's ear. 'What's yours?'

'Lanya Colson.'

'You're the Kid's old lady, huh?'

'When he remembers who I am.' Her hand on Kid's wrist squeezed.

Kid rubbed the back of Denny's neck with one hand and held Lanya's with the other. Again he felt how chalky Denny's skin was. Lanya's was warm.

'You like this?'

Lanya laughed and moved her arms farther around Denny's back.

'Up here, where I live.' Denny suddenly pulled back. 'You like this?'

They watched him hunker on the blankets. The side of Kid's thigh on hers was warm. The top, where Denny had been, cooled.

'You can't stand up,' Lanya said. 'But it must be good for sitting and thinking.'

'I stay up here a lot,' Denny said. 'Cause it never gets that hot. Then sometimes I don't come up here two or three days.' Suddenly he sat back and pulled a plastic envelope into his lap. 'You like this?'

'What is it?' Lanya asked and leaned forward.

'It's a shirt.' Denny said. 'It's a real pretty shirt.'

Kid looked too.

Beneath the plastic cover, and over green satin, gold strings tangled: the fringe was attached to the velveteen yoke. Velveteen cuffs sported gilt and green glass links.

'I found it in a store.' Denny reached behind him. 'And this one.'

Silver thread elaborately embossed the black.

'Those were the two I liked,' Denny explained. 'Only you can't wear stuff like this around here. Maybe if I go someplace else…' He looked between the two quickly.

Kid scratched the hair between his legs and drew away a little.

Lanya had leaned closer. 'They are pretty!'

'What is that one made of?' Kid asked.

Lanya pressed the plastic covering with her palm. 'It's crepe.'

'And I have these.' Denny pushed the shirts behind him. 'See.'

When the lid clicked off the plastic box, the cubes inside bounced.

'It's a game,' Denny explained. 'I found it in another store. It's too complicated for me to play, and there's nobody here to play it with. But I liked the colors.'

Lanya picked up one of the green blocks. On each face was an embossed gold letter: p,q,r,s,o,i…

Denny blinked and held the box open for her to replace the playing piece.

She turned it in her fingers a long time, till Kid's awareness of Denny's restrained impatience made him uncomfortable.

'Put it back,' Kid said, quietly.

She did, quickly.

'And this.' Denny pulled out an oversized paperback book. 'You got to look at those close. They're very funny pictures—'

'Escher!' Lanya exclaimed. 'They certainly are.'

Kid reached over her arm to turn the page.

'Where did you get those?' Lanya asked.