Dhalgren

'Oh, yeah. We keep things quiet if somebody has a problem and comes to us. That doesn't happen too much. People are scared of us. So they don't act up.'

'That's what other people call our protection business,' Kid explained. 'Only we don't protect anybody.'

'Yeah,' Eddy attested.

'But why…?'

'We'd do something else,' Kid said, 'if there was something else to do—'

'—'Cause it's…' Eddy began. 'Look, I'm a scorpion and I like being a scorpion. It's better than anything else I've done. It's a tough, dangerous world out there, and we gotta survive… you know? People are scared of us, and maybe they shouldn't be. But it makes it easier. To survive. The reason I'm a scorpion is because when a bunch of us walk down a street, and somebody sees us, they think—' Eddy snapped his fingers—'yeah. We come along and we get the first pick of whatever is there; and if anybody tries to keep it from us, they better watch out. We're together, you see? For one another. If one scorpion gets in trouble, then the nest comes down and swarm! If something comes at the nest, then you'll have scorpions from all over. The guys here don't care who you are, where you come from, or what you do; they're for you… like a family. When you're a scorpion, you know you're part of something that's important, that means something, that makes people stop, and then think… You know…?'

In the silence, June looked confused.

'Is that why you're a scorpion?' Kid stood in the doorway and shook his head. 'Shit… Hey!'

Her eyes snapped at him—

'You haven't found George yet?'

— and widened; her head vibrated, rather than shook in negation.

'Keep looking.' Kid tried to smile, succeeded, and found the effort honest. 'You will.'

Walking down the hall, Kid pondered the probability that Eddy would leave with June. That would be pretty good. He looked in the back room to check Dollar. He was in the same position (as was everyone else) breathing roughly and evenly.

In the loft room, Kid, with his bare toes, nudged Raven's knee. Raven was sitting crosslegged before a pile of bolts and screws. 'You can go run the water in the sink now.'

'Huh?' Raven looked up. 'Oh yeah, in a second.'

Kid kicked the knee again with his boot toe. 'Will you go wash out the fuckin' sink!'

'Okay, okay. It ain't gonna smell no more in another minute—!'

'I'm not worried about the fuckin' smell. Just go on.' Which was true.

'Okay!' Raven got up and left the room.

In sudden fury at the brother and sister, Kid wanted their talk interrupted and both of them out.

He climbed up the notched beam into the loft. Denny, his feet up on the wall, glanced from the Escher propped on his chest, then turned another page. Kid sat with his back against the wall. 'Hey?'

'What?'

'Have I taken you guys on any runs, yet?'

'You forgetting things again?'

'You tell me if I have or not and I'll tell you.'

'Just that one.'

'When?'

'You don't remember?'

'Tell me, cocksucker!'

'When the… sun came up, and you ran everybody over to that house. Where Dollar killed Wally. That's the only run you made, so far. I mean you didn't plan it out like a run or anything. But that's all,'

'Oh.'

'You remember that?'

'I remember.'

'Mmm.' Denny nodded and went back to his book.

'I guess I'm going to have to make another one soon.'

'Mmm,' Denny said again, but did not look up.

Why do we make runs? Kid thought: Because if we didn't, we'd be a little more crazy than we are now.

Eddy passed the door.

'Hey, Eddy?'

Eddy stopped. 'What?'

'She gone?'

Eddy let out a breath. 'Yeah.'

'And you're gonna stay here?'

'Man,' Eddy said, 'I can't do anything for them. And she's… Well—'

'I know,' Kid said. 'Hey, Eddy… don't make any more speeches. You're a really bad press agent.'

'Huh?' Eddy stepped into the room. 'Oh… yeah. Uh… Kid?'

Kid heard bolts roll across the floor. 'Yeah?'

'Well… 'Eddy', see, that's what my sister and family call me. But the guys around here, they all call me Tarzan.'

'Tarzan?' It was a question, but with a lowering, not a rising inflection.

'Yeah.'

'Okay.'

Eddy turned to leave.

'Hey, Tarzan?'

'What?'

'Sorry about your family.'

Eddy smiled, briefly and weakly. 'Thanks.' He left.

Raven came in and said, 'Aw, shit! Somebody kicked my fuckin' screws all over the God-damn floor!' He sucked his teeth, squatted, and, out of sight from the edge of the loft, began to roll them back together.

I come. I go. Rather than going, though, I'll stay. This cage seems too easy to flee. Is that what keeps us here? To leave the city: That is the thought that makes me weak in the small of the back and watery in the mind, so much so that it is easier not to remember it once the thought is past. Waiting for a word to push on these walls, with its bass hiss, there is no way to begin. Adjusting the frame to accommodate the day, I am swollen with terror at my inability to distinguish, at any action, what differentiates time after from time before.

'Hi, what are you putting together?' she asked.

'Just a piece of junk—' Raven said.

Denny clapped Escher closed, and rolled to lean over the edge. 'Hey! Lanya!'

'Hi, babes. Is Kid up there?'

'Yeah, he's right here.'

'Room for me?' Then her head came over the loft's edge, and frowned. '…This one is harder to climb than the ladder on the other one.'

Kid pushed up to his knees to grab her shoulder. Denny was already at the edge to help.

'Hey, I think I can do it more easily myself. Let's see…' She scrunched her features. 'Um… No, please. I'll get it.' She pushed over the edge, almost slipping once. 'There.' She took a breath. 'Now all I have to worry about is getting down.'

'You came down to see us!'

'Sure,' she told Denny, who now put both hands on her knee. 'I told you I would, didn't I?' She took Kid's hand, and one of Denny's. 'Tak told me you saw what's going to be my dress.' She was wearing jeans and a tan blouse. 'Just as well if it isn't too much of a surprise. Have you decided which shirt you're going to wear, Denny?'

'I thought,' Denny said, 'I could bring all three and sort of change every once in a while.'

'What are you wearing?'

'What I have on,' Kid said.