Connor laughed unsteadily. “Can we not make this a competition?”
“I’d win.”
“That’s why we can’t do it.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine, still cupping my face with his hands. “Are you okay? Are you really okay?”
How was I supposed to answer that? No, I wasn’t okay. I was a long, long way from okay. I felt violated. I felt like someone had managed to leave stains on the inside of my skin, and my vision kept blurring around the edges, like it was trying to fragment. Blind Michael had something special planned for me, and his hooks were still sunk deep.
I pulled away from him, releasing his hands. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m good.”
He looked uncertain, but he didn’t argue. There was too much to do. Some of the kids hadn’t worn a human disguise in so long that they didn’t know how to craft one anymore, and the chaos that started as their parents attempted to walk them through the process gave me the room I needed to retreat, well away from anyone who would ask me uncomfortable questions, and start getting my own disguise on. Maybe the long pause had been good for my magic, because it felt like my illusion came together more easily than normal. It only took a few minutes for me to wrap myself in a facade of mortality.
I was one of the last. Almost as soon as my illusion finished settling into place the Luidaeg lowered her hands, and the circle collapsed. The last thin layer of unreality between us and the mortal night fell away with it, and the sounds and smells of a San Francisco Halloween surged in. It should have been a comfort, but it wasn’t, and I felt myself go cold.
It didn’t feel like home.
“End of the line, kids,” said the Luidaeg, stepping up next to me and looking across the crowd. “All of you, go the fuck home. Set the wards and use the spells I taught you. It may take a while, but they’ll come clean.” Some of the parents started to murmur, and a few cautious, questioning hands were raised. The Luidaeg scowled. “Do I look like a fucking advice column? Get out of here.”
That was enough to convince even the most die-hard worriers that they had better places to be. The crowd started to disperse, scattering in all directions. I looked at the Luidaeg. She was close enough that I could see the hairline cracks in her human shell, the places where the strangeness was bleeding through. For the first time, she wasn’t succeeding in hiding her nature, and that was frightening. Blind Michael was stronger than she was.
“Luidaeg?”
She shook her head. “Not yet, Toby. Soon, but not yet. I’m taking the human girl; I might be able to do something for her. Go on back to Shadowed Hills and figure out what you’re going to do now.”
I chuckled bitterly. “You mean beyond never sleeping again?”
“You got there by the light of the candle, but you didn’t get back that way.” She leaned forward, voice soft as she said, “He isn’t letting go that easily.” Then she was standing up straight, turning to stride across the circle with long, ground-eating steps. I stared after her, and when Luna came to take my elbow and guide me toward the parking lot, I didn’t fight.
They’d rented a small bus to get everyone to Golden Gate Park and back to Pleasant Hill afterward. Cassandra climbed into the driver’s seat, which made a lot of sense; other than myself and Connor, I wasn’t certain anyone else in the crowd had a license, and I was in no condition to drive. Half the kids were asleep before we’d even reached the freeway, collapsed bonelessly against their parents.
I wound up between Connor and Tybalt. They kept glaring at each other over the top of my head. I had a pretty good idea of why, but I didn’t want to deal with it; I closed my eyes instead, pulling my cloak tight and melting back into the seat. It all felt like the setup for a bad joke. Purebloods, changelings, a Fetch, and the Duchess of Shadowed Hills are in a bus headed for the East Bay …
I dozed off somewhere during the trip, and woke when the bus pulled into the parking lot of Paso Nogal Park. That was the cue for everyone to scatter in every direction possible. The parents took their kids and went home, some of them stopping to take my hands and make sounds of meaningless appreciation. I smiled and nodded and pretended I couldn’t see the way they avoided meeting my eyes. Luna led those of us who remained into the knowe via a shortcut I’d never seen before, skipping almost all the ludicrous gymnastics. Cheater.
She left us once we were inside, saying she needed to find Sylvester, while Quentin and Cassandra went off to call Mitch and Stacy. Connor followed after Luna, and I realized that I hadn’t seen Tybalt since we left the bus. I glanced to May.
“Where’s—”
“He said he had a cat thing,” she said, and shrugged.
“Right. Now what?”
“Come on this way. Luna said you’d be hungry. And, y’know.” She flashed another tired but sunny smile. “Nudity taboos.” With that, she was off and walking, navigating the knowe with the sort of casual ease that told me a lot about how much time she’d been spending at Shadowed Hills since I disappeared. This wasn’t borrowed familiarity. This was all her.
After about five minutes of walking through the halls, she opened the door to a small, oak-paneled antechamber. A meal of cold cuts, bread, fruit, and cheese had been laid out on the room’s single table, and a pile of clean clothes was folded on one of the chairs. Spike was curled up on the pile of clothing, head down on its paws, looking despondent.
“Hey, Spike,” I said.
Its head snapped up and it launched itself from the pile of clothes, mewling frantically as it raced toward me. I surprised myself by laughing as I held out my arms, and it jumped into them, still mewling as it rammed the top of its spiky head against my chin, barely managing to avoid puncturing me.
“I missed you, too, baby. I did,” I said, stroking it.
“I had a hell of a time getting it to eat,” May said. Crossing to the chair, she picked up the bundle of clothes. “These are from home. We figured they’d still fit, although you lost a little more weight than I was counting on. Didn’t they feed you?”
“I don’t remember,” I said.
Getting dressed while trying to deal with a rose goblin that vehemently didn’t want to be put down was an exciting experience, but with some creative juggling and a little help from May, I managed it. I felt a lot better once I had some clothes on, and better still when May managed to remove Spike from my shoulder long enough for me to shrug into my jacket. The leather still smelled, faintly and comfortingly, of pennyroyal.
“So now what?” asked May, as she stepped back.
I picked up a slice of bread, eyeing the cold cuts for a moment before starting to slap a sandwich together. “I’m going to eat this, check in with Sylvester, and—”
“She’s going back to my grandfather’s lands.”
The voice was unfortunately familiar. I stiffened, sandwich forgotten as I turned to face the woman standing in the antechamber doorway. “Rayseline.”
“October,” she replied, almost mockingly. “You’re secretly a cockroach, aren’t you? Don’t worry, you can tell me. It won’t make me think any less of you. Really, I don’t think that anything could.”
“I’m not a cockroach, I’m just hard to kill,” I said, putting my half-assembled sandwich back on the table. “Can I help you with something?”
“Just wanted a look at the dead woman walking,” she said, and smiled.
Rayseline Torquill would have been scary no matter who she was, and what I’d learned about Luna’s side of the family didn’t do anything to make her less unnerving. It didn’t help that she looked more like her father than her mother, with the Torquill family’s characteristic fox-red hair and honey-colored eyes. With her porcelain complexion and delicate features, she projected the illusion of perfect, unquestionable purity and goodness. At least until she opened her mouth.
“Toby?” said May, uncertainly. “She doesn’t really mean that, does she?”
I wanted to tell her no, but I wasn’t sure that I could lie to my Fetch and make her believe it. I shook my head instead, and Rayseline laughed, sounding utterly delighted.
“Look at that! She can’t even admit to it!” She took a step forward, chin dropped so that she was looking at me from beneath lowered brows. She looked like a predator. “He’s got claws in her. He’s got hands on her. She’s going back.”
“Toby …”
