Artemis Fowl: the time paradox

wonder how he could reach the planets orbiting those pinpricks of light, and what he would find there. On this evening, the stars just made him feel tiny and insignificant. Nature was vast and mighty and would eventually swallow him, even the memory of him. He lay there cold and alone on the plateau, waiting for a feeling of triumph that he realized would never arrive, and listening to the distant shouts of the villagers as they made their way across the long meadow.

Holly arrived before the villagers, gliding in from the north, touching down soundlessly on the sea stack.

‘You’re flying,’ said Artemis, as though he had never seen this before.

‘I borrowed a suit from Number One’s bodyguards. Well, I say borrowed …’

‘How did you find me?’ asked Artemis, though he could guess.

‘Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered, Now who could that be?’

‘Hmm,’ said Artemis. ‘A bit of a giveaway.’

‘Also, I followed my old suit’s radiation trail. I’m still following it.’ Holly touched a finger to her visor and the filter changed. ‘That’s quite a pile of rocks you dumped on Opal. It’s going to take a Retrieval team some time to dig her out. She’s cursing like a tunnel dwarf down there. What did you do to her?’

‘The seventh kraken,’ explained Artemis. ‘The one Foaly missed because it was tubular rather than conical, I would guess. I picked it up on a weather satellite.’

Holly placed a finger on Artemis’s forehead. ‘Typical Artemis Fowl. Beaten to a pulp and still he delivers a lecture.’

Magical sparks flowed from Holly’s fingertip, engulfing Artemis like a cocoon. He felt comforted and peaceful, like a baby in its blanket. His pains were wiped away and his shattered collarbone liquefied, then solidified whole.

‘Nice trick,’ he said, smiling, his eyes glassy.

‘I’m here till Tuesday,’ said Holly, smiling back. ‘Number One filled my tank.’

Artemis gazed up at his friend through a red haze. ‘I’m sorry I lied to you, Holly. Truly. You’ve done so much.’

Holly’s eyes were distant. ‘Maybe you made the wrong decision; maybe I would have made that decision myself. We’re from different worlds, Artemis. We will always have doubts about each other. Let’s just carry on and leave the past in the past, where it should be.’

Artemis nodded. That was as good as he was going to get, and better than he deserved.

Holly pulled a tether from her belt, looping it under Artemis’s arms. ‘Now, let’s get you home before the villagers start building a gallows.’

‘Good idea,’ mumbled Artemis, drowsy with the after-effects of his magical makeover.

‘Yes, believe it or not, other people do have those occasionally.’

‘Occasionally,’ agreed Artemis, then his head lolled back and he was asleep.

Holly reset her wings for the added weight and launched them both off the lip of the sea stack, flying low to avoid the torch beams of the locals that strobed the night sky like searchlights.

Foaly tuned into Holly’s helmet frequency while she was airborne.

‘The seventh kraken, I’m guessing. Of course I had my suspicions …’ He paused. ‘This would be a good opportunity to mind-wipe Artemis,’ he said. ‘Save ourselves a lot of grief in the future.’

‘Foaly!’ said Holly, horrified. ‘We don’t wipe our friends. Artemis brought Jayjay back to us. Who knows how many cures lie in that lemur’s brain.’

‘I’m kidding. I’m kidding. And, guess what, we won’t even have to ask Jayjay to donate some brain fluid. Number One synthesized it while he was waiting for the shuttle. That kid is one of a kind.’

‘I seem to run into a lot of those. By the way, we need to send a team in for Opal.’

‘They’re en route. I think you’re in for another rake over the coals from IA when you get back here.’

Holly snorted. ‘What’s new?’

Foaly fell silent, waiting for Holly to share the details of her adventures. Eventually he could wait no more.

‘OK, you win. I’ll ask. What happened back then — eight years ago? My gods, it must have been mayhem.’

Holly felt a phantom tingle on her lips where she had kissed Artemis.

‘Nothing. Nothing happened. We went, we got the lemur, we came back. A couple of glitches, but obviously nothing we couldn’t handle.’

Foaly didn’t press for details. Holly would tell him when she had processed it herself.

‘Do you ever think you might like to go to work and then just come home? No drama.’

Holly watched the ocean flash by below her and felt the weight of Artemis Fowl in her arms.

‘No,’ she said. ‘I never think that.’

CHAPTER 16: A TEAM OF HAIRDRESSERS

LESS than an hour later they landed at Fowl Manor. Artemis woke up just as Holly’s heels hit the gravel and was instantly alert.

‘Magic is wonderful stuff,’ he said, pin-wheeling his left arm.

‘You should have held on to yours,’ quipped Holly.

‘Ironically, if I had not attempted to cure Mother, Opal would have allowed her to recover. It was my journey into the past that gave Opal the basis for her plan, which she instigated by following us to her future.’

‘I liked you better asleep,’ said Holly, retrieving her tether. ‘My head hurt less.’

‘It’s the big time paradox. If I had done nothing, then nothing would have needed to be done.’

Holly touched her helmet. ‘Let me get Foaly on the com. You two could both talk at the same time.’

The exterior lights cast a soft glow on the gravel, setting the stones shimmering like gems. Lofty evergreen trees swayed in the gentle breeze, rustling with life. Like Tolkien’s creatures.

Artemis watched Holly stride towards the main doors.

If only, he thought. If only.

N^o1 sat on the front step, flanked by a squad of LEP officers bristling with the latest weaponry. Artemis knew that his DNA was coded into their guns and all they had to do was select his icon from a list and there would be no escape. Jayjay had wrapped himself around the demon’s crown like a hunting cap and seemed most comfortable there. He roused himself when he saw Artemis, leaping into the boy’s arms. A dozen LEP rifles instantly beeped, and Artemis guessed that his icon was being selected.

‘Hello there, little fellow. How do you like the present?’

N^o1 answered for the lemur. ‘He likes it fine. Especially now that no one will be sticking any needles in his head.’

Artemis nodded. ‘You duplicated the fluid. I thought that might be an option. Where is Doctor Schalke?’

‘He collapsed once Opal departed. Butler put him in a guest room.’

‘And Artemis Junior?’

‘Technically, you are Artemis Junior,’ replied N^o1. ‘But I know what you are trying to ask me. Your younger self has been transported back to his own time. I sent a Retrieval captain and stayed here as a marker. I thought you would want him out of the way as soon as possible, what with your father and the twins on their way home.’

Artemis tickled Jayjay under the chin. ‘It might have proved awkward.’

Holly was troubled. ‘I know we promised not to wipe him, but I’m not particularly thrilled that there’s a little Fowl running around with fairy knowledge in his devious skull.’

Artemis raised an eyebrow. ‘Devious skull? Charming.’

‘Hey, if the flap fits …’

N^o1 was a little pale. With a flex of his tail, he lifted his squat rump from the step.

‘About this no mind-wiping promise. The thing is, nobody told me.’