down?”
Angelique started to say she’d take her upstairs, but Dalton said it first.
“I’ll take you. I’ve been here before. I’ll find us some rooms.”
Isabelle nodded, then looked to Angelique. “We’ll talk in a bit.”
“Okay. Get some rest.”
After they left, Michael wandered off, his face buried in her mother’s journal. Mandy and Trace excused themselves to do some weaponry inventory, leaving her alone with Ryder.
“Are you okay with all this?” he asked as soon as the rest of them left.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Actually, I feel. . contaminated.”
“Why?”
“It’s like I’m less than human. Maybe I knew this was coming, especially after what happened at the cottage. I just didn’t want to believe it.”
He stood, approached her. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re no different now than you were five minutes before the contents of your mother’s diary were revealed.”
She backed away from him. She wasn’t ready to discuss this. “I’m tired. I’m going to my room. I need to think.” She skirted around him, fleeing up to her room and shutting the door. She sat on the bed and stared out the window, feeling numb all over.
Less than a minute later, Ryder walked in and shut the door behind him.
“Don’t you knock?”
“Sometimes.” He came over to the bed and sat next to her.
“Go away, Ryder. I need to be alone.”
“No, you don’t. Not now.”
“You have no idea what I need. Can’t you give me five minutes to process this by myself?”
“Why? So you can sit here alone and have the time to convince yourself that you’re worthless because you have demon blood running through your veins?”
She hated that he voiced what she was thinking. “You have no idea how I feel.”
“Don’t I? I might not have demon blood in me, but my father’s blood is there.”
“He was human.”
Ryder snorted. “Was he? I’m not sure about that. And this isn’t about me. Look at Derek and Nic. They’re half demons.”
“And?”
“They function normally as humans. They can control their demon side. You’ll be able to do the same.”
She’d forgotten about the two brothers who were half demons. They were both so normal in appearance, so human in every way, yet she’d seen them in action. They could almost call out the demon side of themselves at will, and then tuck it away again, becoming perfectly normal.
Was there hope for her, too?
“Gina and Shay love Derek and Nic, you know.”
Her gaze whipped up to his. “I know.” She’d seen the couples together. Shay and Gina, human women in love with demon men.
“They accept their men, even though they’re partially demon.”
Her throat went dry. Was he trying to tell her something? “What’s your point, Ryder?”
His eyes were so dark, like a warm whiskey, she felt herself go hot all over. Especially when he didn’t say anything, just looked at her. .
He cleared his throat. She waited.
“You should never think of yourself as unworthy,” he finally said. “Of anything. You saved my life back at the cottage. You could turn in to one hell of a demon hunter someday. The Realm of Light can use someone like you in its ranks.”
So not what she thought he was going to say. Not. At. All. Disappointment and embarrassment flushed heat through her body. She’d wanted his acceptance, to hear that he didn’t care if she had demon blood in her. She wanted to hear that he would still care about her.
He could talk about others falling in love with half demons, but that didn’t include him. He could never do that. Obviously he couldn’t get past the fact she was part demon.
Oh, he could fuck her. No problem there. But he’d never love her.
“Thanks for your advice,” she said, standing up and moving toward the door. She had to get him out of here before she embarrassed herself further by dissolving into tears. “I’ll talk to Michael about a possible career with the Realm of Light.”
Ryder stood and approached the door she held open, frowning. “Is something wrong?”
“Not at all. I’m just tired. And I need to go talk to my sister. She’s upset.”
He reached for her, but she took a step back.
