A Ship Made of Paper

says, louder now.He feels Kate’s wifely, cautioning touch on his elbow.“They could have been Chinese,”Daniel shouts out.“They could have been Mexican, Polish, they could have been kids right from here.”

“Shut up, Emerson,”someone bellows from the front ofthe bar.

There is a scattering ofapplause, murmurs ofagreement.

“No one saw their skin,”Daniel says, as forcefully as he can.

”I did.”This is shouted by George.

”I did, too.”

“I did, too.”

“I did, too.”

The more opposition Daniel meets, the more righteous indignation he feels.His eyes burn in their sockets, fury courses through him, his legs tremble.“I’m ashamed ofthis town,”Daniel cries.

Now Kate’s gentle touch has become an urgent tug.She pulls him toward her and says into his ear,“Daniel.Please.We’ve all heard you.”

“Can you believe this shit?”

“They just think you’re going on like this because you’re with Iris.”

She says it with extraordinary kindness.Her eyes are soft with sympathy, she shakes her head.

“Let’s just get out ofhere?”Lorraine says.“Can we please?”

Derek Pabst and another Leyden cop are the first ofthe police to arrive, followed shortly by four members ofthe state police.It takes nearly two hours for statements to be taken and reports to be written up, and when the Bistro’s customers are finally able to leave it is nearly three in the morning.No cars have been stolen, but since all the keys have been taken, the customers must either call for a ride home or walk.It is Daniel’s habit, however, to leave his keys in his car and he leads Kate and Lorraine through the cool night rain to his car, two blocksaway.

As he drives them back to what was once his house, Lorraine, in the backseat, exclaims,“I just don’t get it.You left your keysinyour car? I just don’t understand why you’d do that.”

“He always leaves them in the ignition,”Kate says.They are already a mile out ofthe village, driving through the wet, luminous night.

“It doesn’t make sense,”Lorraine says.

It strikes Daniel that perhaps she means to suggest some foreknowledge on his part, or even a degree ofcollusion with the robbers.And though confronting Lorraine is as far from Daniel’s temperament as reaching over the backseat and giving her a smack across the face, he can-not resist asking her,“What are you suggesting, Lorraine?”

“Everyone in the whole place seemed to know who those guys were,”she says.“And you were jumping through hoops to make them think otherwise.”

“And?”

“It’s just weird, that’s all.”Lorraine is slumped down, the back ofher hand is pressed against her forehead.

“Our nerves are shot,”says Kate.“All ofus.I’ve never been robbed before.”She clutches her chest, trying to make light ofit.“Oh my God.

I’m a crime statistic.”

“They didn’t rob you the first time they came to your house?”Lorraine says.

“No, not really.I told you.They wanted to use the facilities.”

“Gross.”Lorraine shudders.“But you were right next to them.Were they the same ones who just held us up?”

“How can she know that?”Daniel says.

”It’s important,”Lorraine says.“They should catch those fucking kids and feed them to the wolves.”

“I agree,”says Daniel.“Or maybe a lynching.”

“Our nerves are shot,”Kate repeats.She pats Daniel’s knee, and then leaves her hand resting on it.

“They took two hundred and thirty dollars offme,”Lorraine says.

“And my wallet, my address book, my Filofax, all my credit cards.Mylife was in that bag.”

“That could be the problem right there,”Daniel says.

”Fuck yourself,”Lorraine says.

They arrive at Kate’s house.The windows blaze with light.A weather-worn old Ford is in the driveway.Kate sees Daniel react to the unfamiliar car and tells him,“That’s the baby-sitter’s.”He nods, surprised by the little trickle ofgratitude that goes through him.Lorraine climbs out ofthe back door, waits for Kate with her back to them both.Kate powers down her window and says to Lorraine,“I’ll be right in.I just want to talk to Daniel.For a minute.”Lorraine shrugs without turning around and trods offto the house.

Kate waits for Lorraine to let herselfin, and then she turns to Daniel.

“I miss you.What do you think about that? Do you miss me?”

“Derek was acting so strange toward you in there.Did you notice that? It was as ifhe was furious with you.”

“It’s fine.We had a communication problem, and it’s all ironed out.

Can you answer my question? Do you miss me?”

“Ofcourse I do.And Ruby.How is she?”

“Fine, we’re both fine, we’d like you to come home.”The ping ofthat little hammer blow ofconfession breaks her voice.

“Kate…”

“You know what?”she says.“I never told you, I mean I never actually said the words‘I love you.’But I do.I love you.”Her eyes glitter, the color rises in her face.She seems moved, even inspired by her own words.Hav-ing said what was for so long unutterable, she now feels capable ofsaying anything.“I love you.You’re my guy, you’re my sweet man.I just assumed you knew, but now I see that sometimes it needs to be said.”

“This is so painful, Kate.”

“You’re involved in something with her that’s simply never ever ever ever ever going to work out, and I want to give you the chance to get out ofit, and come back.You deserve that chance, Daniel.You really do.Peo-ple get stuck in their bad decisions and they think nothing can undo them.Can I be honest with you?You look like you’re about to pass out.

But I know what’s going on in that house ofhers.That man’s not going to suddenly get better.She’s going to be looking after him for a long, long time.And that’s the best-case scenario.We don’t even want to talk about worst- case.But the fact is, you did this to him.For whatever rea-son, it was you.”

“Whatever reason? It was an accident!”

“Maybe you’ve been looking to even the score ever since those black guys kicked you down the stairs.”

“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard.”

“Blacks and whites don’t get along,”she says.“Too much has happened.It’s ruined.Ifsomething doesn’t begin well, how can it end well?”

Daniel is silent, trying to think ofsomething to say, some way ofending the conversation without enraging her, a way ofsending her into the house that won’t be humiliating.But Kate interprets his silence as Daniel’s somehow being swayed, or evenmovedby what she is saying, and she puts her hand on his chest in a familiar, nostalgic way, and then quickly leans in to him with a deep, possessive kiss.

[18]

Morning.Warm dusty light pours through the uncurtained windows.

Daniel has kicked the covers offhis bed, and though he has slept only four hours, he is awake.His penis is hard, in a slightly disconcerting and even irritating counterpoint to his otherwise grim state ofmind.Re-lax, you idiot.He stares at the ceiling, with its chicken-skin paint job, and thinks about the money he lost last night.His mind is pierced by the pic-adors ofsudden money anxieties.He has made the mistake oftotaling up the money he would have made had he stayed in NewYork at his old firm.

He is minus about three hundred grand from that lovely decision.Two years now, he has been living in the half-