Priestess! It’s a miracle he missed! There was no way we could have recovered that Mocain!”
“That’s enough!” Lowdrop cut in, pulling Gravelight away from me. “He’s right, Gravelight. You would have died, too. You all did your best! It’s over!”
Boudicca wrenched her comtop off, revealing a flushed, sweaty face, bright red hair and the Legion cross on her forehead. She collapsed against the aircar’s fuselage beside Snow Leopard. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders protectively and pulled her to him, hiding nothing.
“Hey, girl-how you doing?” His face was grim.
“Hot and wet, kiddo. Hot and wet. I could use an ice-cold shower.”
“Well, we’ll do one together.”
“You’re on, kiddo. You’re on.”
Priestess continued working on Merlin. There was nothing I could do to help. There was nothing for me to do at all. I closed my eyes, exhausted and overcome with anger and frustration. Deadman works in strange ways, I thought. He works through us, but he doesn’t make it easy. We had saved Valkyrie from the grasp of our foes, and saved Merlin from an awful death. Maybe it was up to us…to do what we could, for those we love.
“Does that hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Come back in ten hours. You’ll be called. Next!” We looked around the body shop of the Spawn. I could hardly believe we had made it back, but the fighters had kept the Systie fleet very busy. Now we were on vac run red, and my hands were encased in biogloves, one arm was bandaged and my torso covered with burn pads. The body shop was very, very busy.
“Thinker! How are you?” I wandered in a daze. White-suited lifies and medics rushed around urgently with biopacks and wheeled the casualties into the operating rooms. I looked up. Boudicca sat on a table with one arm draped around Valkyrie. Boudicca still wore her litesuit, peppered with shrapnel hits and scorched from the fire and splattered with dried blood. Valkyrie was still in the dark monk’s robe, bleeding from the lip.
“Valkyrie! It’s good to see you.” I reached out and took her hands in mine. Her emerald eyes flickered, and once again it was just the two of us, against the world. She didn’t say anything at first. I noticed a lot of blood on her robe.
“Hello to you, too, Thinker!” Boudicca said sarcastically. “Appreciate your concern. I’m all right, thank you. She may have broken some ribs. We have to wait a bit to find out.” Boudicca seemed perfectly happy, with her Two at her side.
Valkyrie turned from me, with dull eyes, talking slowly, barely whispering. “She raped me, Thinker. She degraded me. She annihilated my soul. She turned me into a slave, a cipher. I wasn’t Gamma Two any more, Thinker, I was Gamma Zero. I did whatever she wanted. I was a good slave. Everything they told us about the Systies is true.”
I swallowed hard. I said nothing. What could I say?
“But I got my soul back, Thinker. And it felt so good. I’m going to kill Systies for the rest of my life.” Her gaze swept over the body shop. Over in the corner they were cutting someone out of a fused A-suit.
“So many casualties!” Valkyrie whispered. “So many…how many dead?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I responded quickly.
“What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? How can it not matter?”
“It doesn’t matter!” I insisted. “We got you back, that’s what’s important. We took you back! And the entire galaxy will know it!”
“But look at the cost! How many dead? It’s crazy! You should have left me! All these wounded troopers. They don’t even know me. They must hate me!”
“Don’t you understand anything, Valkyrie?” It bothered me that she could not see it. “That’s the whole point. It doesn’t matter who you are, or whether it was just you or a hundred others as well. The point is, you’re a soldier of the Legion. And the enemy had you. And the Legion was going to get you back. And nobody was going to count the cost.”
Boudicca embraced her tighter, and raised her head. “That’s right, so don’t ask how many dead. Like he says, it doesn’t matter. We’re all bound for death. We all die for the Legion. You’ve seen the Monument. Your number will be up there one day, and your squad name, and your image, and one more line-’Died in Service’. Those troopers didn’t die for you, they died for the Legion, for all of us.”
“You can’t count the cost,” I said wearily. “The day the Legion starts counting the cost, we’re all done for. That will be the end of the Legion.” The trooper in the corner screamed. They were having trouble cutting the A-suit open. A shudder ran through me.
“I suppose you’re right,” Valkyrie said. “Please forgive me. I love you both.” I squeezed her hands, and Boudicca hugged her tighter.
“It’s all right,” I said. “It’s all right.” Boudicca didn’t say anything. I think she was trying not to cry.
###
“Merlin! How is it?” Merlin floated in an air pillow in the tank. Priestess and I had just found him. The body shop was chaos. Merlin opened his eyes carefully and looked around, his face strained. We could not see his legs; they were covered.
“Hey, guys. It hurts. Feels like somebody cut off my legs.” He attempted a smile. It didn’t work. “The lifies say it’s going to take months. Guess I screwed up, huh?”
“You did fine, Merlin,” I said. “It was Priestess who saved you. She got you back here.”
“Don’t you listen to him, Merlin,” Priestess said. “It was Thinker who saved you. And he saved me, too!” She had washed the blood off her hands. I had helped her. She seemed different now. I wasn’t sure how different.
Merlin almost smiled. “I remember you dragged me out of the hall, Thinker. I’m sorry. I guess I’m a danger to everybody around me.”
“What are you talking about, Merlin?” I was genuinely puzzled.
“You know I don’t belong here, Thinker. I belong in a damned research lab. I don’t belong in a CAT squad. I can barely get out of an aircar without falling on my face, you know that.” He stared into the space between us, avoiding our eyes. “I’ve been selfish. I’ve been indulging my own private fantasies, at your expense. The next time, I’ll probably get somebody killed.”
It was all a plan to drive me over the edge. First Gravelight, then Priestess, now Merlin. I tried to keep my temper. “Merlin, do you want to go back to a research lab?”
His eyes flashed up to mine. “No.”
“Well then, don’t! What are you whining about? We all want you back! You’re our Four, the best Four we’ve ever had, and we won’t let you go! Now shut down and turn your brain off. The damned thing is on antimat drive again. Deadman! Let’s go, Priestess.” I could not take much more of this.
We found Dragon in the operating room, his body encased in massive slabs of life-support equipment. The lifies swarmed over his still form. Serious internal injuries, they said. It was going to be a challenge, they said. Dragon’s eyes opened. He spotted us, behind the plex. One arm snaked out from under the equipment and slowly rose, forming a clenched fist. The fist faintly trembled, but I knew it was not from weakness. The dragons on his arm writhed, furious. And I knew Dragon would be all right. I returned his salute.
###
“Thinker! Have you seen Psycho?” Snow Leopard asked me, pale and sweating, still stinking of the battle. And still looking for Psycho.
“I’m sorry, Snow Leopard. No news yet?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Deadman! It’s such a bloody mess. Nobody knows anything.” He turned, his pale pink eyes scanning the body shop for his missing squadies. He appeared distracted and lost, slightly off balance, running one hand back through wet hair, his other hand toying with a comset. This was not at all like the cold, efficient Snow Leopard we all knew and loved. Was the whole world coming apart?
A ragged voice cut us off. “Thinker! Snow Leopard! Priestess! Deadman, you’re all right! I thought the whole squad was gone!” Psycho stood before us in a shredded, bloody litesuit, his face all bruised and cut, his nose smashed and bloody, a crooked smile.
“Psycho!” I croaked. “We thought you were dead!” I seized him by the shoulders, transfixed with joy. “You look great!”
