children have a difficult time venturing. Among these places, as I indicated, is the Cathedral. I want you to escort one of my children into Lord Galm’s stronghold and then, after a period of precisely one month, escort it out again. You need do nothing else to pay your debt to me.”
Devona considered briefly, and then said, “Agreed.”
“Excellent.” Gregor did or said nothing more, but one of his insects detached itself from the others and scurried up Devona’s leg, over her waist and chest, along her neck, across her jawline, and then darted into her ear.
She screamed in pain and clapped her hand to the side of her head. Blood trickled out from between her fingers. She swayed and then fell to her knees.
I went to her and gently pulled her hand away from her ear. I saw no sign of the insect and, thanks to her half-vampire physiology, the wound of its passage was already healing.
“I apologize. I should have made clear what I meant by escort.” Gregor chittered softly.
“If you’ve hurt her-”
“No need for dramatics, Matthew. My child must be hidden inside Ms. Kanti in order to be able to penetrate Lord Galm’s wardspells. Despite the initial…unpleasantness of the process, she will not be harmed by hosting my child, and when a month is over, it shall depart and Ms. Kanti’s body will heal the minor damage caused by its leavetaking.” He rubbed four of his legs together, maybe in anticipation of soon gaining access to a place so long denied him.
“I’m all right, Matt,” Devona said, sounding a bit shaky but otherwise unhurt. I helped her to stand. “It feels…odd,” she said. “But that’s all.”
“All right, Gregor,” I said. “My turn. Let me guess: you want me to carry one of your little spies too, so in case I do rot away to dust, I can ferry it over to the afterlife with me.”
More chittering. “Hardly. You have only to answer one simple question for me, Matthew: how do you feel about being a zombie?”
FIFTEEN
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Come now, Matthew, it’s a simple enough question. How do you feel about being a zombie?”
“Why do you want to know?”
Gregor chittered loudly. “Why do I want to know anything? Because it is there to be known, because I do not already know. Because by knowing, I can perhaps come to understand.”
“Understand what?”
“Everything, of course. But to answer your initial question more specifically, I wish to know because you are one of a kind, the only self-willed zombie in Nekropolis, perhaps the only one that has ever existed. And unlike normal zombies, you are aware and can provide valuable insight into your state of existence.”
“I’d like to help you, Gregor, but I don’t experience emotions the way I did when I was alive. I’m not sure I have any feelings about being a zombie.”
Gregor’s mandibles clacked together slowly- tik-tik-tik-tik -a gesture and sound which I’d come to know as a sign that the big bug was losing patience.
“Come now, Matthew. You forget to whom you are speaking. My children have watched you many times since your arrival in Nekropolis. You pretend to help people solely for monetary compensation in order that you might purchase preservative spells. But the lengths you go to in order to help them, the risks you take, indicate a man who is interested in far more than just collecting a paycheck.”
“When I take on a job, I do it to the best of my abilities. That’s how I am.”
“And is that why you chose to help Lyra? She was a spirit, Matthew, and unable to pay you.”
“Not true; I got to keep Honani’s soul.”
“Which you did not know would happen when you decided to aid Lyra. You helped her because you felt sorry for her and because her death filled you with righteous anger and you wanted to make her killer pay. You cannot deny it.”
Gregor was right, I couldn’t. “So?”
“So that proves you still feel, Matthew. Now answer my question and discharge your debt to me.”
I looked at Devona and thought of what she had said to me in the alley where we’d discovered Varma’s body. If you don’t feel anything, perhaps it doesn’t have anything to do with your being a zombie. Perhaps that’s who Matthew Richter really is-a man who was dead inside long before he died on the outside.
Had she been right? Was that really who and what I was?
I heard the soft whisper of Gregor’s children gathering behind.
“Matt-” Devona said warningly.
“How do I feel, Gregor? Even in Nekropolis I’m an oddity-a freak in a city of freaks-the only walking dead man with a mind of his own. And that mind is trapped in a body that’s little more than a numb piece of meat. I can’t feel warm or cold, can’t feel the wind on my face. Can’t smell, can’t taste. I’m cut off from the world around me, on the outside of life, looking in and trying to remember what it was like to be a man, to be Matthew Richter, instead of just a pale memory of him.
“And now my undead body’s preparing to betray me, getting ready to fall apart like so much overcooked chicken slipping off the bone. And despite my hope that Lord Galm might have the power to restore me and that he might deign to do so if I can help Devona recover the Dawnstone before I rot away completely, I’m still scared that none of it’s going to matter, my body will cease to be and my spirit-” I showed the E on my palm to Gregor. “I suppose Lord Edrigu will get that.”
I lowered my hand. “You want to know how it feels to be me, Gregor? Right now, it well and truly sucks. Satisfied?”
Gregor slumped against the wall, legs curled across his abdomen and stroking it slowly with a faint rustling sound as of a mass of dry twigs being rubbed together. His attitude was that of a someone who has just had a very large and very good meal. Or great sex.
“Extremely. Thank you, Matthew. And good luck on your dual quests to locate the Dawnstone and discover a way to avoid your impending dissolution. I truly hope you succeed. Nekropolis is a far more interesting place with you inhabiting it.”
I felt humiliated at having been forced to bare my soul for Gregor’s amusement, and that Devona had been a witness. “I hope your next visitor is a very big can of sentient bug spray.”
I turned to go, and Devona followed. Together, we walked up the temporarily insect-free stairs, Gregor’s chittering laughter following us all the way.
We walked through the dilapidated streets of the Boneyard in silence for a time after that. The wraith images of the domain’s inhabitants seemed to be sharper now, maybe because we’d moved further into the Boneyard, or maybe we were just getting used to them. A few tried to talk with us, but they made no sound, at least none we could hear, and after several moments of attempting to communicate by gesture, they gave up and drifted away.
When Devona finally spoke, she said, “What do we do now?” No mention of my embarrassing little scene back in Gregor’s basement, for which I was quite grateful.
“We have several possible avenues of investigation at this point. We could try to find Morfran, the demon veinburn dealer; we could try to locate the drug lab the Arcane and the Dominari have set up in the Sprawl; or we could try to learn who hired the Red Tide vampires that killed Varma and tried to kill us.”
As if on cue, a crimson mist rolled forth from a nearby sewer grate.
“No need to bust your rotting ass looking for us, zombie,” Narda’s voice drifted forth from the vermilion cloud. “We’re right here.”
The fog dissipated to reveal Narda, Enan, and the Giggler.
Enan raised his right hand. The fingers blurred and shifted, becoming five large hypodermic needles, the points glistening with liquid veinburn. He grinned. “Time to plug and play, Deadboy.”
The vampiric trio looked the worse for wear since last I’d seen them, but not as much as I’d expected. There
