Future Imperfect

FIVE

Set up in bed, Mom brings me a bouquet of flowers that she found on the porch.

Who would ever send me flowers?

My first guess, and already my head is swimming, is that it’s from the phlegmy old dude who’s been calling. I’m not sure why, but that’s the first thought that comes to my head. I even go as far as worry that the flowers might be poisoned. Read about that once in a magazine, these poisoned flowers that killed some reporter in Russia. But that’s stupid, right?

My second thought, well, it’s most likely Paige. Or Belle. Maybe it’s Belle trying to send me a message. What would the message be?

Ah, but there’s a card.

The message is written backward, so I have to get up and hold it up to the mirror on the back of the door to read it. Even though the handwriting’s pretty, I’m guessing the message is nasty. If it’s from the geezer prank calling me, then it’s gonna be a nasty limerick or a curse. That’s it. It’s going to be a curse. Belle cursing me.

Only it’s not.

The note, it says: Negative Woman fell in love. Her powers, the negative energy, got out of control and she was worried she’d hurt the man she loved, so she gave her powers up. Really, they left her. Negative Woman was pissed at first. But then, she realized she didn’t need the negative energy, she realized she was better off without it. That made her very happy. What would make you happy, Ade? Love, Vaux.

Once again, I’m sure I’m still unconscious. I’m sure this isn’t happening now.

What would make you happy, Ade?

The room isn’t as plastic as it should be. There aren’t any black-light blues.

Love, Vaux.

I do pinch myself. Hard. Really really hard. And it hurts. Hurts enough for me to know that this is real. That this is right now. Jimi was in my house just hours ago tattooing himself. Vauxhall wrote me a letter. This is the moment right here.

Love, Vaux.

The future has come.

We are going to be so in love.

I’m saying it right now: I’m quitting.

No more concussions. No more Buzz.

Being with Vauxhall and not being brain dead would make me happy. Knowing that I don’t need the Buzz because Vaux is kissing me would make me happy. Not having an overripe melon head would be nice. Not having to shit in a bag would be wonderful.

After a few painkillers, with the last birds singing outside and Mom rustling in the kitchen, I have a revelation.

I realize that I don’t know a single person living in the now. The here.

Me and Vaux have it the worst. Her and me, we’re chasing down highs everywhere but now. Her stuck in the past and me racing into the future. Neither of us caring about anything else. And I think about my mom and how she’s in the future too. Her life is all about the distant prospects. The Rapture. The Return. She loves me dearly, but in some ways, really in many ways, I’m just a looking-glass into that distance. And Paige, I think about how she just longs to leave high school and her parents and find someplace that will accept her for who she is. And Jimi, him hunting down his dad like his dad was a stray dog that bit him, obsessing over something that might never ever happen. And I think of everyone at Mantlo, everyone out for the next big thing, the next big score. All of us, we’re not living for right now. For all of us, life is just one step to something better.

Not for me now.

Not anymore.

SIX

I’ve been “sober” now five hours.

This is, naturally, when Vauxhall calls my cell. I answer with a squeak, must be the concussion or maybe the fact that my throat is sandpaper dry. Vauxhall says, “Hey there, you okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’m a pro at this.”

“That’s really sad, but I get it. I know why you-”

“The high. Buzz, that’s why.”

“Not me?”

I’m silent for a few breaths though I don’t mean to be. It’s telling.

Before I can say anything, Vaux says, “Let me make it up to you. Will you go see a movie with me next weekend? Saturday night?”

“You and Jimi?”

“No, just you and me and maybe two friends. A double date.”

“Double date, huh?”

“Yeah. I’ll pay.”

“Okay. I’ll drive.”

“Great. Hey, can I ask you a question? Did you see anything? I mean the last time, the time you went to the hospital? I’m not going to tell Jimi or anything, I’m not… Just so you know.”

Closing my eyes tight, I relive the hit, the spin, the future, and then tell Vauxhall what I saw. I tell her all the details, down to the color of the masked man’s mask. I say, “And he turned to me and told me something kind of poetic and that was it. Over.”

“What exactly did he say?” Vauxhall is fast to ask.

“Uh, it was like denying the past to-”

“Change the future?”

“Yeah, right. What? Is that some movie quote or something?”

It’s Vauxhall’s turn to be quiet and it’s all static for what feels like a whole movie’s worth of time. Then she says, “I saw him, the scary guy in the mask. When Jimi was a kid. He was there ten years ago. Jimi’s sure it was his dad.”

“What?” My head starts to hurt. A headache creeping up.

“I didn’t think much of it other than it was really strange.”

“Messed up is what it is. How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know, but Jimi is keen on it. He thinks it’s his dad.”

“His psycho dad?”

“Yeah.”

“How? How could he…” I clear my throat. My head is pulsating, I close my eyes tight to push the pain back inside. “You gotta get rid of that guy, Vauxhall. Seriously.”

She says, “I can’t, Ade. We have-”

“He’s using you, Vaux.”

Vaux laughs, it’s all uncomfortable. “I’m helping him.”

“He’s dangerous, Vaux. This dad thing… I’m worried about you.”

“Every day, he gets better. Every day, I help him see and help him-”

“Don’t lie to yourself, Vaux. You do it for the high.”

Vaux goes cold. She says, “Okay, I’m going to hang up now…”

Only she doesn’t.

We sit in silence for as long as it takes for a plane to fly overhead, for the rumble in the sky to go dead. I say, “You are so much better than Jimi. Deserve so much more. Vauxhall, you’re incredible. I’ve been in love with you for two years now. I’ve been drawing pictures of you ever since I saw you. Been trying to come up with your name.