“Let’s not talk about it right now. It’s a new day. It’s behind us.”
“Okay.”
“Are you hungry?”
She looked embarrassed when she said, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Let me help you.”
“Michael, I’m not comfortable…” Her head moved.
“It’s still me, baby.”
He flashed a grin, and for that moment he looked the same, felt the same. He had the same dimple in his right cheek, the same twinkle. “I don’t think I can walk.”
“Here.”
“Don’t…”
“It’s okay.”
Michael lifted her from the bed, carried her to the bathroom and helped her. When she was finished, he got her back to the bed. She was drawn and shaky, so Michael held a warm, wet towel to her face. He cleaned tape gum from her skin, bits of dried blood and dirt.
“I thought I was going to die.”
“Elena, don’t.”
“I thought the baby would die with me. I thought we’d be dumped in the woods and lost forever. Just gone. My parents would never know. The baby would… the baby…” She wiped at her eyes, and looked stronger. “I’ve never felt anything like I did when you came into that barn. I can’t even describe it. It wasn’t relief or happiness or anything like that. I didn’t think you could save us. He was waiting for you, and ready, he was so crazy, so goddamned confident…”
“Baby…”
“I was so scared, but I saw you and I thought at least we’d die together.”
“But it didn’t happen like that. It’s over.”
“It doesn’t feel over.”
“I promise you it is.”
“Can I be alone, Michael?”
“Sure, baby.”
“Just for a minute.”
He walked outside and looked at the sky, watched a line of pink thin out and fade. Ten minutes later she called his name, and he went back inside. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Her hair was damp from the towel, face rubbed clean. “Abigail left a car.” Michael nodded at the window. “I found these inside.” He held out clothes and crutches, then helped her dress and got her into the car. She wanted to be up front, so he slid the seat back and tilted it as low as it would go. “There.” He tucked a blanket around her. “Almost like you’re still in bed.”
He smiled to make it a joke, but she didn’t smile back. “Where are we going?”
“Someplace safe. We’ll get you to a doctor, get that foot fixed. You’ll be fine. You’ll see. I’ll take care of you. We’ll get everything fixed.” He was babbling, and knew it.
He was losing her.
“I want to go home,” she said.
“Spain could work. We’ll get tickets in Raleigh.”
“I want to go home alone.” His smile faded, but she did not release his arm. “I’m not saying good-bye. I’m saying I need to think. There’s so much. There’s what’s happened, the baby. There’s us.”
“Of course.”
“Michael-”
“No. It’s okay.” Filters snapped across his eyes. “A lot has happened. Bad stuff. Questions. I don’t blame you. Going alone is smart. It’s reasonable.”
“You don’t have to be so businesslike.”
“Actually, I do.” He closed her door gently, then circled to the driver’s side. “The Raleigh airport’s not far. We have cash. The doctor says you can travel. Where’s your passport?”
“Oh, God.” She looked stricken. “He took it.”
“Jimmy?”
“Yes.”
“It’s okay.” He started the car. “I’ve got this.”
Everything looked different in the early light. Fog blanketed the fields, so thick the house almost disappeared. The barn looked broken.
“I don’t want to be here,” Elena said.
“I’ll be in and out.” Michael handed her the nine millimeter. “You remember how to use this?”
She took it without question.
“I’ll check the barn first, then the house.”
“He had my cell phone, too.”
“I’ll get it.”
He opened the door and Elena said, “Michael.”
“Yes?”
“I know you’re not like him.” She meant Jimmy. “That’s not why I’m leaving.”
“Why, then?”
“It’s just…” She sniffed, shook her hair back.
“Hey, forever is a long time. We’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t understand.” She shook her head. “I wanted to kill him myself. I wanted to make him hurt and beg and die. Don’t you see? I hated myself for not being strong enough to do it. Hated my weakness.”
“There’re different kinds of strength.”
“I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“Well, I do. You’re Carmen Elena Del Portal, and you’re the most beautiful person alive.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“It’s one of the few things I know for fact.”
He closed the door, smiled through glass.
She hugged herself and watched him go.
The barn was darker, but the same. Same smells and sights; same dead bodies. Michael stepped inside, angry with himself. Even shot and dealing with Elena, he’d been sharp enough to collect weapons and shell casings. The cell phone had slipped his mind.
The phone was in her name, and could have dragged her into the fallout. If cops had found it first…
But he’d been emotional. Elena, hurt. Dead men who had once been family. This time, he was doubly careful. He checked Jimmy’s corpse from top to bottom; found her cell phone in his pocket, but no passport. He looked once at Stevan-felt mild disappointment-then kicked dirt in Jimmy’s face.
He kicked more dirt.
