“She didn’t have it.”
She stares at me. “Who does?”
“According to Phyllis, you.”
“What? Me?”
“She told me she gave it to you.”
“For what purpose?”
“To hide?”
“I hardly even knew the bitch! And she hated me, remember?”
“I’ve got your word for that.”
Gwen frowns. “I see. And we’ve already established I’m a liar.”
“Just to level the playing field,” I say.
She gives me a look that’s not quite anger, but awfully close. “You’re totally killing the mood here, you know.”
“I know.”
Gwen’s on the verge of throwing a pout. I’m okay with that. I’m trying to accomplish two things here. First, I want to know if she’s got the device. Second, I want to get laid again, and see if we can improve the experience by coming at her a different way. On the one hand, I don’t want to make her too angry. On the other, I need to secure the device.
I say, “If it makes you feel any better, I believe you.”
She turns both palms up. “You’d have to. Phyllis was fucking my husband. We didn’t like each other. She wouldn’t have given me anything important, and I wouldn’t have accepted it if she had.”
“At the time she told me, it made sense. Now that I understand the relationship, it doesn’t. Are you sure she hated you?”
“Yes. And Lucky didn’t make things any easier by rubbing her nose in it.”
“What do you mean?”
“He made her give me all those spa treatments, plastic surgery, chemical peels…”
“She didn’t charge him?”
“Well, of course she did.”
“Well, isn’t that why she’s in business?”
“Do you know anything about women?”
I take a breath before answering.
“No. I talk a good game…but no. Every time I think I’ve finally got a handle on women, I realize the handle isn’t connected to anything. In the end, I’m just holding a handle, without a clue.”
“It was a rhetorical question.”
“Oh.”
“God, you’re good looking when you do that,” she says.
“Do what?”
“That whole clueless thing. You need to cultivate it. It works for you.”
This is something I already know. And she’s right. It does work. Problem is, it’s not an act.
“Let me give it to you from a woman’s perspective,” she says.
“Okay.”
“I’m young and sexy, Phyllis is a drone. I’m not being cocky or putting her down. These are the facts. Phyllis wanted Lucky. Don’t ask me why, but let’s assume she wanted him.”
“Okay.”
“They probably met around the time Lucky and I got married. They were certainly having sex before Lucky made her start fixing my flaws.”
“You’re saying she didn’t like the idea of making you even more appealing to him?”
“Exactly.”
“Because she considered you her rival?”
“There may be hope for you yet.”
I think about that a moment, and then it hits me.
I know exactly where the device is hidden.
Gwen touches the area between my legs and says, “I think we’re getting close here.”
“I agree.”
