Then she talked about the white van and showed her national audience a picture of it. She said police around the country were working on that lead but they could use the public’s help on this, also. Finally, on behalf of FBI agents and law enforcement officers everywhere, Courtney promised to hunt the kidnappers down and bring them to justice. She ended by issuing a special alert: “If anyone has any information regarding these two former Soviet agents, please call the FBI hotline at …”
The phone vibrated again, and I answered it.
“Creed, you son of a jailhouse bitch! What did you do with the body?” The man I knew only as Darwin had only just begun yelling at me. He told me how much trouble they had to go to in order to doctor the photographs and plant the phony Russian suspects. Darwin called me stupid, careless, and a bunch of other names that would have hurt my feelings had I not been keenly aware of his indelicate nature. So he unloaded, and I sipped my bourbon and took my lumps and waited for him to get on topic, which he eventually managed to do.
“I want to know who hired you, because whoever it was, he managed to throw a monkey wrench into our national defense system. And don’t tell me Sal Bonadello, a guy who thinks software means sweaters.”
Darwin fell silent, but only for a moment. Then he said, “I’m waiting.”
“I can’t give you a name,” I said.
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Can’t. But on the bright side, I know how to get it”
“Creed, listen to me. You’ve done a lot of stupid things over the years, things I’ve turned a blind eye to because up to now, you’ve been more valuable than the shit storms you’ve created. But this is too much. We can’t let someone hack into our national defense systems, and we can’t let the government find out that you and your people are running around taking contracts from criminals to kill people,” he said. “They’re funny about shit like that. How the fuck did you let this happen? No, don’t bother telling me. Just tell me this: what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to talk to an angry midget,” I said.
“What? Are you insane? You trying to tell me some midget hired you to kill the doctor’s wife?”
“Little person,” I said. “They prefer the term
“I prefer Viagra and a nice set of tits, but right now you and Callie are the only boobs in my life.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I’m saying a midget hired me to kill Monica Childers, but I’m not sure she’s dead.”
“I know how to tell: did you kill her or not?”
“We killed her, but we left her body. Now it’s gone.”
“Wait,” Darwin said. “Maybe I should get some Roman soldiers to move the stone away from the tomb.”
“Look, I gave her a syringe full of BT. I think someone got to her in time to administer an antidote. I think that’s why Victor monitored the satellite, so he could get a chase team to pick her up as soon as we left.”
“Victor? Who’s Victor? The midget?”
“Little person.”
“Let me get this straight.” Darwin paused on the other end of the line. “You took a contract from an angry midget to kill a prominent surgeon’s wife, but she was rescued and then kidnapped by other people working for the very same midget. That what you’re telling me?”
“It sounds stupid when you say it out loud like that.”
Then, in a tight voice, he said, “Kill her again, Creed.”
“Okay.”
“Because otherwise she’ll be able to identify you.”
“Okay.”
“And kill the midget, too.”
“That I can’t do.”
“Why the hell not?”
“First, I don’t know for certain he’s the hacker. Second, if he isn’t the hacker and I kill him, I’ll never be able to find the real hacker. Third, I’ve entered into an agreement with him.”
“You’ll be entering a pine box if you don’t put a stop to this hacking business.”
“I will.”
“And don’t forget to kill Monica Childers.”
“Assuming she’s still alive.”
“Don’t assume anything. Just kill her.”
“Will do.”
“Keep me in the loop. I don’t want to have to keep calling you after the fact.”
“Got it.”
“Oh, shut up.” He hung up on me.
