'Though why should people know the name of a man not distinguished by deeds of valor?' said Chichikov.
'Still, however, one must know ...'
'Pavel Ivanovich, Your Excellency,' said Chichikov, inclining his head slightly to one side.
'Ulinka! Pavel Ivanovich has just told me the most interesting news. Our neighbor Tentetnikov is not at all as stupid a man as we thought. He's occupied with something rather important: the history of the generals of the year 'twelve.'
Ulinka suddenly seemed to flush and became animated.
'But who thought he was a stupid man?' she said quickly. 'Maybe only Vishnepokromov could think that, whom you believe, papa, though he's both empty and mean.'
'Why mean? He's a bit empty, it's true,' said the general.
'He's a bit base, and a bit vile, not just a bit empty,' Ulinka picked up promptly. 'Whoever offends his own brothers like that, and throws his sister out of the house, is a vile man ...'
'But that's just talk.'
'There wouldn't be talk for no reason. You, father, have the kindliest soul and a rare heart, but the way you act could make people think quite otherwise about you. You'll receive a man who you yourself know is bad, only because he's a fancy talker and an expert at twining himself around you.'
'But, dear heart! I couldn't really throw him out,' said the general.
'Don't throw him out, then, but don't love him either!'
'Not so, Your Excellency,' Chichikov said to Ulinka, inclining his head slightly, with a pleasant smile. 'According to Christianity, it's precisely them that we ought to love.'
And, straightaway turning to the general, he said with a smile, this time a somewhat coy one:
'If you please, Your Excellency, have you ever heard it said, in this regard—'love us black, anyone can love us white'?'
'No, I haven't.'
'It's a most singular anecdote,' said Chichikov, with a coy smile. 'There was, Your Excellency, on the estate of Prince Gukzovsky, whom Your Excellency is no doubt pleased to know ...'
'I don't.'
'There was a steward, Your Excellency, of German stock, a young man. He had to go to town for supplying recruits and on other occasions, and, of course, to grease the palms of the court clerks.' Here Chichikov, narrowing one eye, showed with his face how court clerks' palms are greased. 'However, they also liked him and used to wine and dine him. So once, at dinner with them, he said: 'You know, gentlemen, one day you must also visit me on the prince's estate.' They said: 'We will.' Soon after that the court happened to go to investigate a case that occurred on the domains of Count Trekhmetyev, whom Your Excellency is no doubt also pleased to know.'
'I don't.'
'They made no investigation properly speaking, but the whole court turned off at the steward's place, to visit the count's old steward, and for three days and nights they played cards nonstop. The samovar and punch, naturally, never left the table. The old man got sick of them. In order to get rid of them somehow, he says: 'Why don't you gentlemen go and visit the prince's steward, the German: he's not far from here, and he's expecting you.' 'Why not, in fact,' they say, and half-drunk, unshaven, and sleepy, just as they were, they got into their carts and went to the German . . . And the German, be it known to Your Excellency, had just gotten married at that time. He married a boarding-school girl, a genteel young thing' (Chichikov expressed genteelness with his face). 'The two of them are sitting over their tea, not suspecting anything, when suddenly the doors open and the throng barges in.'
'I can imagine—a pretty sight!' the general said, laughing.
'The steward was simply dumbfounded. 'What can I do for you?' he says. 'Ah!' they said, 'so that's how you are!' And all at once, with these words, there is a change of looks and physiognomies. . . 'To business! How much liquor is distilled on the premises? Show us the books!' The man hems and haws. 'Hey, witnesses!' They took him, bound him, dragged him to town, and the German actually spent a year and a half in jail.'
'Well, now!' said the general.
Ulinka clasped her hands.
'The wife went around soliciting!' Chichikov continued. 'But what can a young, inexperienced woman do? Luckily there happened to be some good people who advised her to settle peaceably. He got off with two thousand and dinner for all. And at the dinner, when they all got quite merry, and he as well, they said to him: 'Aren't you ashamed to have treated us the way you did? You'd like to see us always neat and shaven and in tailcoats. No,
The general burst out laughing; Ulinka groaned painfully.
'I don't understand how you can laugh, papa!' she said quickly. Wrath darkened her beautiful brow ... 'A most dishonorable act, for which I don't know where they all ought to be sent. . .
'My dear, I'm not justifying them in the least,' said the general, 'but what can I do if it's so funny? How did it go: 'Love us white . . .'?'
'Black, Your Excellency,' Chichikov picked up.
' 'Love us black, anyone can love us white.' Ha, ha, ha, ha!'
And the general's body began to heave with laughter. Those shoulders that had once borne thick epaulettes were shaking as if even now they bore thick epaulettes.
Chichikov also delivered himself of an interjection of laughter, but, out of respect for the general, he launched it with the letter
'I can picture what a sight that unshaven court was!' the general said, still laughing.
'Yes, Your Excellency, in any event it was . . . nonstop ... a three-day vigil—the same as fasting: they wasted away, simply wasted away!' said Chichikov, still laughing.
Ulinka sank into an armchair and covered her beautiful eyes with her hand; as if vexed that there was no one to share her indignation, she said:
'I don't know, it's just that I'm so vexed.'
Indeed, of extraordinarily strange contrast were the feelings born in the hearts of the three conversing people. One found amusing the awkward ineptitude of the German. Another found amusing the amusing way the crooks wriggled out of it. The third was saddened that an unjust act had been committed with impunity. There only lacked a fourth to ponder precisely such words as could produce laughter in one and sadness in another. What does it mean, however, that even in his fall, the perishing dirty man demands to be loved? Is it an animal instinct? or the faint cry of the soul smothered under the heavy burden of base passions, still trying to break through the hardening crust of abominations, still crying: 'Save me, brother!' There lacked a fourth for whom the most painful thing of all would be his brother's perishing soul.
'I don't know,' Ulinka said, taking her hand away from her face, 'it's that I'm just so vexed.'
'Only please don't be angry with us,' said the general. 'We're not to blame for anything. Give me a kiss and go to your room, because I'll be dressing for dinner now. You, my boy,' the general said, suddenly turning to Chichikov, 'will be dining with me?'
'If Your Excellency...'
'No ceremonies. There's cabbage soup.'
Chichikov inclined his head agreeably, and when he raised it again, he no longer saw Ulinka. She had vanished. Instead of her there stood, in bushy mustache and side-whiskers, a giant of a valet, with a silver pitcher and basin in his hands.
'You'll allow me to dress in your presence, eh, my boy?' said the general, throwing off his dressing gown and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt on his mighty arms.
'Good gracious, not only to dress, you may do anything Your Excellency pleases in my presence,' said Chichikov.
The general began to wash, splashing and snorting like a duck. Soapy water flew in all directions.
'How did it go?' he said, wiping his fat neck on all sides, “‘love us white . . .'?'
'Black, Your Excellency.'
' 'Love us black, anyone can love us white.' Very, very good!'
