beautiful woman was because Megan had died so many years ago.
And if she hadn’t died? If Megan had survived? What would she look like now? Would they have children? Stuff stockings at Christmas? Celebrate birthdays? Tom’s mind flooded with images of Megan, of their non-existent children, of the life he could have had.
The captivating eyes of Mary were too much for Tom to take. He couldn’t betray the memory of Megan, not here, not like this. Tom stood and subtly wiped the wetness from around his eyes. “Where are you going Tom? Martha was just about to serve us dessert!” Jesus said with a laugh.
Martha ribbed Jesus and said, “You hush!”
“I just need some fresh air, to clear my head,” Tom said.
“Maybe you’ll find David while you’re out there? He’s missing the fun!” Matthew shouted with a chuckle.
“I’ll send him in if I see him,” Tom said, as he left the room.
“Clear his head! As though it were dirty!”
Tom listened to the room laugh at his expense. He often forgot that modern expressions didn’t always translate very well. It was something that he couldn’t quite master and it almost always got a laugh. Not that it bothered him, but he knew it bothered David.
Cool, crisp air filled Tom’s lungs as he breathed deeply. His thoughts became clear and the feelings of inner turmoil faded…if only for a moment.
“Thomas?” asked a sweet voice.
Tom turned to the voice, not realizing that his lips had spread into a smile and his eyebrows rose with anticipation. Mary smiled back at him.
“Why did you leave?” Mary asked.
“Just wanted to…” Tom wondered how he could say it right. “…forget some thoughts.”
“Of me?”
“No.”
“Then maybe…of someone else?”
Tom’s heart sank. Mary could see right through him.
Mary frowned. “If your heart belongs to another, I’ll-”
“I’m married,” Tom said.
Mary appeared stunned and afraid. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to-”
“No, you… she… I was married. My wife died. You-you just remind me of her,” Tom said with a smile, as his eyes began to water.
“If the sight of me hurts you, then I will hide myself from your eyes.” Mary began to turn away.
“No,” Tom said, as her placed his hand gently on Mary’s cheek. “Don’t.”
Mary leaned her face into Tom’s hand. He felt the warmth of her skin in his palm and on every ridge of his fingertips. He let his hand linger a moment, as he gazed into her mesmerizing dark brown eyes. “Go back inside,” Tom said. “It’s getting cold and I should find David before it gets late. I’ll return soon.”
After squeezing Tom’s hand with her own, Mary turned toward the house. “I’ll be waiting.”
The door closed behind Mary, as she entered the house. Tom turned away and felt a surge of guilt churn in his stomach. He had done it again! Tom took a step and tripped on a root. He quickly kicked the root as if it had caused him to stumble emotionally as well as physically. Tom glared at the root, while a pot full of separate feelings swirled and battled for supremacy in his head. He walked around the house, stomping his feet with every step. Stupid women! Stupid root! And where the hell is David?!
Tom circled the home in search of David. If he had gone back to the future again, Tom was going to put his foot down. But before Tom could formulate the verbal beating he’d give David for skipping out of town, he saw something that made his heart palpitate. A body, lying in the grass! “David? David!”
Tom ran to the body sprawled face up. “David!”
Tom stood over the body, and looked into the eyes of David, that for a moment looked glossed over and empty. Tom’s fears were instantly suspended when David cracked a smile. “You should see your face,” David said.
“Damnit, David, I thought you were dead!”
David’s smile grew wider. He enjoyed the panicked look on Tom’s face. It was an expression he didn’t see too often, and it showed their friendship was still as strong as it had ever been. “I was just looking at the stars,” David explained.
Tom glanced up, but paid no attention to the dazzling array of twinkling stabs of light above. “Everyone’s wondering where you are.”
“Have you ever seen so many stars?” David asked.
Tom looked up. David was right. The sky was awash with glowing pinpoints-so many that the sky seemed to be glowing. Tom took a seat in the grass next to David, keeping his eyes on the stars the entire time.
“In two thousand years we’ll have television, rocket ships, cherry Pepsi and satellite radio, but…we won’t have this. The world seems so much simpler now. So much smaller. So much more alone in the universe.”
Tom looked over at David. He had never heard David speak like this, but he suspected where it was coming from. “You’re thinking that maybe you’re the one who’s been blinded? Maybe I was right from the beginning and Jesus is a fake?”
David took his attention off the stars and faced Tom. To Tom’s surprise, David wasn’t angry at all. “Something like that.”
“We can go home if you want.”
“Why would we go home? You haven’t seen him die and rise from the grave yet,” David said.
“What? But you just…”
“You think this is the first time in my life I’ve had doubts?” David let out a chuckle. “I used to believe in Jesus based on what is recorded in the Bible. Fully man, fully God, kind of a hard concept to grasp, so most of us picture him as human in body and God in mind and spirit…”
David sat up and continued, “But now I’ve met the man, and…he’s so human it’s frightening. Fully human, fully God… Let me ask you this. Have you ever seen the man sin? Even once?”
Tom sat up, intrigued by the line of questioning. “What do you consider to be sin?”
“Use your instincts.”
“Well…he teases people a lot.”
“I noticed…and it caused me some doubts, but have you ever felt bad about yourself or someone else as a result?”
“Umm…no… Have you?” Tom asked, truly curious now.
“Not once. I usually end up feeling better about myself and the other people he’s teased. He’s brought out parts of my personality I haven’t seen since I was a child.”
“He’s a good guy, that’s established. But can’t you see through that? It’s a facade, David. C’mon. I can find holes in everything we’ve seen him do so far.”
“And you’ve conveniently missed some of the rather more spectacular events,” David quipped.
“Yeah, I planned to be knocked unconscious on the boat. You got me pegged, David,” Tom said, growing annoyed, “He’s one hundred percent man, that’s it, nothing more. Even you have seen that.”
“He’s more of a man than I expected, but maybe that’s the idea,” David said.
“If he’s God, why doesn’t he just cure everyone in the world with a snap of his fingers. Why doesn’t he stop all the injustice in the world, all the crime, war, and famine? It’s within his power if he’s God. So many people from the beginning of time to our time are suffering. What did they do wrong to deserve it?”
David took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he gazed back at the stars. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
“That’s a great idea. I will.”
